Re: 'near miss': "Those are the best kind."

Those are the only kind ... worth counting, Etaoin.

Re: "I am still a hot chick."

We gnats have an old saying:

What is feast for the eyes is also food for the stomach.

A gnat rarely gets so lucky!

A hot-blooded "chick" is a gnat's favorite treat ... next to an Alpha Carpal Tunnel, of course.

Frankly, I'm puzzled. Maybe they liked me better when I was just "so dreary".

No-one ever accused a gnat of being "dreary" ... altho we do get weary of being a nuisance all the time.