Re: I agree with BelM myself: "The expression means...If you want to get somebody to do something, try to use a lure that will make them WANT to do it. Coax them with kindness."

There is a 3rd way, perhaps.

Drop the carrot and the stick, and treat the mule as an equal.

Mules can kick the habit, if the habit doesn't make a mule of himself.

How revolutionary is that?