You could allus get the local fire department to come down and give you a rousing chorus of the songs the sirens sang ... question is, who gets lashed at - sorry, I mean to the mast?

Oh, and I had a teacher in about year 3 of primary school who would have made an amazing Gorgon, no makeup required. There's bound to be one just like her in your vicinity. About 55, embittered, divorced, recently given up smoking and no fashion sense. Ask around!