Don't laugh. I was stuck in the tailback on the M6 caused by that fire until I managed to get off at J5 and wend my way through Birmingham city centre to the M5 at J2. And while I was stuck in the queue no one offered me so much as a lap dance, never mind a sex toy!

Traffic was at a standstill on all approaches and slip roads onto the M5 at J2 and this is nearly five miles from the M5/M6 junction and six from where the fire occurred. It took me 2.5 hours to get to work ...