>zzxjoanw which Mrs. B. defines as "a maori drum". I've come to learn (correct me if *this is wrong, max) that zzxjoanw is a "ghost word"; i.e., there ain't no such word.

No, you are not wrong - Maaori has no "z", no "j", and no "x", and every Maaori word, without exception, ends in a vowel.