well, I should be sleeping, but...

Abner went to find his Bandana, and ran into his good friend, Cid. Cid asked Abner if he wanted some Cognac, to Comfort him. "hey listen, Perry Como is on the radio, what could be better than that?" Cid said. "well, a Crisp chip would be nice." replied Abner. "Woof, woof!" "hey, there's Faust!" Faust was looking especially Gay on this beautiful afternoon, romping through the tall, unmown grass in the yard of his owner, George. George's brother, Joe, had a scythe in hand, but didn't look too intent on getting the grass cut. Lizzie was sunbathing in the next yard, and George and Joe thought they'd better get down to the Old Hundred(known to the locals as the Old Trap) for a cold one, less'n they get in trouble over Lizzie. "Hey Abner" shouted George, "you Scaly old coot, wanna go down to the Old Trap? I think I saw your Teachey-weachey heading that way." Abner's "Teachey-weachey" was none other than Mamie Misenheimer(more about her later). Ok, mayne not later. Mamie was the English teacher at the Tin City Academy, and Abner was head-over-heels in love. It got so bad he even burned his Toast in the mornings thinking about her. Tin City A. had a big game that night with Bughill U, and Abner had to be ready. Abner Buladean was the Star quarterback for the TCA Candor(We Always Speak Our Mind), and the game with the Bughill Calicos was always a grudge match. The Drug Store always stocked up on Epsom salts before this game because no one ever sat down during the game. lots of tired feet in town the next day... Anyway, Abner had to drive to Heartsease to get new laces for his shoes, and before he left, he noticed that the Horseshoe over the front door of his House had turned upside right, and he began to worry. What would Mamie say? Abner knew she was terribly superstitious, and this could only mean bad luck. Well, he quickly ran to the neighbors on the other side, the Quitsna's, and borrowed a ladder. He was going to be the Star of this game whether it killed him or not, and he couldn't let Mamie down. as he set up the ladder, the Stem of a rose bush gashed him in the leg. Luckily George and Joe saw him and rushed him to see Dr. Stubbs and the Stumpy Field Hospital. (Stumpy Field was the town philanthropist and had left the money for the new hospital.) Dr. Stubbs declared Abner fit to play, it was just a scratch after all, and George and Joe got Abner back to the game with just enough time for him to Suit up. Mamie would be so proud of him, and Whynot, he was the Star! Sadly, just as the game was about to start, the seasonal Zephyr winds began to blow, knocking the goalposts down, and the game had to be postponed. But Abner and Mamie still had an enjoyable evening.

the end.


formerly known as etaoin...