The previous thread has trespassed into forbidden territory, so here is a restart:
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vanguard

Not "I'm in the choir!" Tom said bass-ly?
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dxb

"Ah! *That brother!" Tom said arcanely.

Coffeebean
"How do you kill a vampire?" asked Tom painstakingly.
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Zed

Ooooh, good one Coffeebean
"Mine aren't nearly that complex" she said plaintively.

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doc_comfort

"I like cheese", Tom said meekly.

CAUTION: these are rude

"You arouse me", said Tom, longingly.

"I'm coming", Tom ejaculated.
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beanie

The inmate is escaping down the fire escape! Tom said condescendingly.
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