This one came at me by e-mail. I'd seen it before and ignored it, but in the context of this thread, I thought it was probably worth sharing. (I haven't 'standardised' the language, because it helps give a flavour of the way English is used in Bombay). I will provide glosses if anyone's interested...




25 things that prove you're a Bombayite......if you're proud of being one.

1.) You think of Chowpatty & Juhu beaches as "nature."

2.) You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.

3.) You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Mumbaikars can understand

4.) Your door has more than three locks.

5.) Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

6.) Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc.) are really important events of life.

7.) You spend more time each month travelling than you spend at home.

8.) You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.

9.) You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

10.) You have the following sets of friends: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique to Mumbai - ???.

11.) Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road and the like.

12.) Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.

13.) The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.

14.) You take fashion seriously.

15.) You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

16.) Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

17.) You compare Mumbai to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities in India.

18.) The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

19.) You insist on calling Mumbai as Bombay, CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

20.) You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

21.) Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

22.) Being truly alone makes you nervous.

23.) You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it 'romantic'.

24.) Only in Mumbai, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.

25.) You call traffic policemen as 'Pandus" and expect out of towners to understand that.