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#96982 - 02/26/03 01:50 PM clichés
wwh Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
Boohoohoo! They have denied me acess to word list I was using in Meta-words
But here is link to a very long list of clichés, quite a few of which are amusing.

#96983 - 02/26/03 09:21 PM Re: clichés
Jackie Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 11613
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky
I hope somebody can help you with whatever word list that is, Dr. Bill.
These "SELF-ANNIHILATING SENTENCES" are great!! I've found several that suit me: I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when I came in; I am certain of it, but I may be wrong; I am going to be healthy if it kills me; What keeps me going is my inertia; If it involves me, I want nothing to do with it; Just because I have nothing to say is no reason why you shouldn't listen; etc.

Here's a good one for you, Anna (because you're the first person I ever knew to use the term lingua franca): English is the Lingua Franca par excellence!

#96984 - 02/27/03 06:12 AM Re: clichés
Faldage Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 13803
I would challenge the idea that many of these are self-annihilating. English is the Lingua Franca par excellence, in particular, seems to support itself quite well.

#96985 - 02/27/03 09:27 AM Self-annihilation
wofahulicodoc Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/06/01
Posts: 6929
Loc: Worcester, MA
Remember Grouch Marx's quip? "Any club that would have me as a member I wouldn't want to join."

#96986 - 02/27/03 09:33 AM Re: clichés
wofahulicodoc Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/06/01
Posts: 6929
Loc: Worcester, MA
...and Shame On Them for not giving credit where credit is due.

"She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B." is [attibuted to] Dorothy Parker, in a review of a new Kathryn Hepburn play.

#96987 - 02/27/03 10:28 AM The cliché expert strikes again
slithy toves Offline

Registered: 01/29/02
Posts: 320
Loc: Sarasota, Florida, US

(Mr. Chip Arbuthnot, the cliché expert, enters the courtroom slowly and takes his place in the witness box. He is wearing a neck brace.)

Q: Mr. Arbuthnot! You look terrible!

A: Ow!

Q: I'm so sorry. Have you been in an accident?

A: Negative. I just overdid it.

Q: A party?

A: More stress-related.

Q: But you've seen a doctor, I see.

A: I went to my man.

Q: And he—

A: Sent me to his man—his go-to guy.

Q: Yes, of course. But your neck?

A: He took some tests.

Q: And then?

A: He tweaked them.

Q: Ah, yes!

A: We had a defining moment. I'd had more than a man could bear.

Q: I'm sorry—more what?

A: Why, more heads-ups, of course. Everyone was giving them to me, on a daily basis. Dozens of them, 24/7. "I'm sending you a heads-up." "Just wanted to give you a little heads-up . . ." From my department head. From my wife, from my dog-walker. The latte lady. No wonder my neck gave way. That and the rest.

Q: There's more?

A: Damn right. What about taking no prisoners?

Q: O.K. Is there anything else?

A: Sure, there's more.What about the shooting?

Q: Shooting?

A: Well, not shooting, technically. Not shooting the messenger.

Q: Strenuous stuff. Also raising the bar, perhaps?

A: There's no end to that. And what about telephone tag? At my age!

Q: Plus thinking—thinking—uh, it's on the tip of my tongue.

A: Thinking outside the box.

Q: Thank you! That'll take it out of a cliché expert, for sure.

A: And all that boat floating.

Q: Boat floating?

A: Whatever floats your boat.

Q: But of course.

A: And don't forget the learning curve. That took a while to master, believe you me.

Q: Wow! No wonder you're all beat up. But I think—

A: Hold it right there.

Q: Huh?

A: You don't think, you have a—

Q: I have a—got it! I have a perception.

A: Bravo. And your perception is?

Q: My perception is that we've been getting our ducks in a row here.

A: If you will. Quote unquote.

Q: Mr. Arbuthnot, I have to say it. You're still in top form here, despite all. And these haven't been easy times for a cliché expert, have they?

A: No, the market has been terrible.

Q: You've lost a lot?

A: Yes. The good days are gone. What fools we were. We were in cliché heaven, and then, almost overnight—just think about it. "Slippery slope" has bottomed out. "Arguably" is worth pennies today. "With all the bells and whistles" is a dead guppy. "No-brainer," "My plate is full," "written in stone," "I.I.R.S."—these were blue chips just last year. All gone-zo. My portfolio is tapped.

Q: It's shocking. But what's "I.I.R.S."—something to do with taxes? I know I should know, but—

A: "It isn't rocket science."

Q: Yes, of course. I'm sorry.

A: Don't feel bad—I'm comfortable with us. This has been good face time.

Q: Really!

A: Yes, you resonate with me.

Q: Why, Mr. Arbuthnot! You flatter me.

A: Yep. You're a regular hottie.

Q: Zowie! Damn, man!

A: No, you da man!

Q: I am?

A: You my rap star! You mah Antowayne! You mah—

Q: Mr. Arbuthnot! Contain yourself! We are not a gangsta. This is a courtroom, not a dog-and-pony show.

A (crestfallen): Yes, you're right, of course. It's just that it's such fertile ground.

Q: Entendu. But now what's happening, Mr. Arbuthnot? You've grown extremely pale.

A: Uh-oh. And you, too. I can see the whole courtroom here—it's like I'm looking through you.

Q: And I can see your spine, right behind your tasteful Ferragamo.

A: Can it be? Yes, it is!

TOGETHER: We've achieved transparency!


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