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It's Official! The World's Funniest Joke
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor
Who knew that humor could be quantified and rated? It can because scientists--not comedians--have conducted a year-long research project to find the world's funniest joke. The LaughLab, led by psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in the United Kingdom, invited people worldwide to post and rate jokes on the Internet. Some 40,000 jokes and two million ratings later, THIS is the winner:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
The joke was deemed the world's funniest because it appealed to men and women, young and old, and people in different countries. "Many of the jokes submitted received higher ratings from certain groups of people, but this one had real universal appeal," Wiseman said. Some funny facts:
--Germany: Every joke was funny.
--Ireland, U.K., Australia, New Zealand: Liked word plays.
--France, Denmark, Belgium: Preferred off-beat surreal humor.
{NOTE FROM ME: wouldn't it just go to figure that the joke voted funniest by an international poll would, in accordance with human nature, be violent!?)
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Carpal Tunnel
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>well, for the contrarians among us, what came thirteenth?
EDIT - this site doesn't tell us which joke came 13th, but it does claim to reveal Wales' choice:
[long link deleted--see Juan's link below]
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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According to Ted (or was it CapK) all jokes have a butt.
So, any guesses who the butt of this joke is?
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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On the subject of wordplay, I spotted this one:
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?”
The girl from New York said: “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where y’all from, BITCH?”
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Carpal Tunnel
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Not a guess at all. When I told that story here (and before I submitted it as an entry in the competition, for which I got NO credit) I told it as the two West Virginians who were hunting. The butt of the joke is the guy who shoots, because he's portrayed as really stupid. If you add the ethnicity, it's obvious.
TEd
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Carpal Tunnel
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Virginians have ethnicity?
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Carpal Tunnel
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No, but WEST Virginians do,
TEd
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Carpal Tunnel
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Virginians have FFVs. The Pseudo-Aristocratics.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Virginians have FFVs
Fast Flying Vestibules?
Yonder comes the FFV
The swiftest on the line.
Comin out a Danville
Twenty minutes behind.
or summat like that.
Oh, and tsuwm. You wanna shorten up the link a wee tad?
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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>You wanna shorten up the link a wee tad?
I have no' registered for makeashorterlink but I just dont get it: my browser breaks it up into two lines..
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Carpal Tunnel
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Here we go, tsuwm...the LaughLab site is back up again:  http://www.laughlab.co.uk/
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Carpal Tunnel
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from the LaughLab site
LEAGUE TABLE OF HUMOUR
We asked everyone participating in LaughLab to tell us which country they were from. We analysed the data from the ten countries that rated the highest number of jokes. The following ‘league table’ lists the countries, in the order of how funny they found the jokes:
Most funny
Germany
France
Denmark
UK
Australia
The Republic of Ireland
Belgium
USA
New Zealand
Canada
Least funny
Fascinating differences also emerged between nations in terms of the jokes they found funny. People from The Republic of Ireland, the UK, Australia and New Zealand expressed a strong preference for jokes involving word plays, such as:
Patient: “Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”
Doctor: “I've got some cream for that.
Americans and Canadians much preferred gags where there was a sense of superiority – either because a person looked stupid, or was made to look stupid by another person, such as:
Texan: “Where are you from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”
Finally, many European countries, such as France, Denmark and Belgium, liked jokes that were somewhat surreal, such as:
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”
These European countries also enjoyed jokes that involved making light of topics that often make us feel anxious, such as death, illness, and marriage. For example:
A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”
Interestingly, Germany was the exception. Germans did not express a strong preference for any type of joke - this may well explain why they came first in our league table of funniness – they do not have any strong preferences and so tend to find a wide spectrum of jokes funny.
Dr Richard Wiseman commented ‘These results are really interesting – it suggests that people from different parts of the world have fundamentally different senses of humour. Humour is vital to communication and the more we understand about how people’s culture and background affect their sense of humour, the more we will be able to communicate effectively’.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Can't find it on the LaughLab site. Guess you'll have to buy the book, tsuwm!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Found this in the course of my perusings, and had to share it:
CONDOM CONUNDRUMS
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmicist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9, or 12, and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for awhile and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the night." We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got the feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12-pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me you were a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me your father is a pharmacist."
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Am I the only one that finds it irritating that the joke declared "world's funniest" was in fact merely the one with the most people who thought it was funny at all? It's more of a most common denominator type approach and really doesn't address the degree of hilarity at all. (Sorry to be such a crank, especially on the subject of humor.)
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Carpal Tunnel
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Woof. Woof. Woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof woof woof.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Howye fokes
Alex - ya may have a bit of a pint there but I think the Capt got the last laff. It's the way ya tell em, ya see.
Be seein ya
GT
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Carpal Tunnel
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Woof. Woof. Woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof woof woof.Hey - that's my line! 
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Carpal Tunnel
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No, no, you put the emphasis on the wrong woof.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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