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This makes me wish I knew enough about computers to build my own website. I've got this great collection of pet rocks, all of whom are wishing they could achieve internet stardom and its attendant immortality.
Some of my pets are gneiss, some of them are not so gneiss, particularly if you take them for granite. I've written bios of most of them, which will eventually be published as "Pet Rocks' Lives."
My favorites, though, are two pieces of fools' gold, which were originally tamed by two female relatives of William Penn. Yep, they're the pyrites of Penn's Aunts.
Most of my pebbles not house-broken, unfortunately, so I'm constantly having to pick up their little piles of schist.
Some of them are endomorphs, some are ectomorphs, but the majority are metamorphs. These don't lava handling too much, though they try to be magmanimous about it. Sometimes I even have to pumice them, though usually being sedimentary with them will keep them in line, particularly if you talc to them right.
I just chalk it up to being a good parent.
TEd
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In reply to:
Yep, they're the pyrites of Penn's Aunts.
wasn't that written by Filbert and Sullivan?
formerly known as etaoin...
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Pooh-Bah
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That's right, eta - my grandfather was related to his wife, Hazel. Of course, we had relatives from Brazil, as well. Descendants of hers, from the branch that moved to Germany, escaped from East Berlin in the 1960s - they were known to us as the Wall nuts. We looked down on them, of course, as they came quite low in the family pecan order. But even they rated higher than the relative who ran away and joined the circus and became a clown - his name was Coco.
Some of the Berlin branch went to Italy, which means I have a young fourth-cousin twice-removed who is going through a teenage time of heavy drinking and constant head-colds - we call him Pissed Achoo.
There is also a collateral branch who moved to the Middle-East in the eighteenth century, enbraced islam and became absorbed into the Arab culture; they now have branches all over the world and go under the name of Al Mond.
There is another family with the same surname, who are immensely rich, but they aren't related, unfortunately. And they are dealt with in another thread.
Isn't it nice to have interesting relatives?
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Your pets remind me, an old bronx gal, about a famous NY saying..(taught to me by Sidney Hortstein, of the AMNH)
The Bronx is gneiss,
Manhattan is shcist,
and NY is not with out its faults..
still, all over is its a Marble-us place.
(all of which happens to be true!)
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I should have bolted when I had the chance!
I guess I'll go listen to some Tchaikovsky...
formerly known as etaoin...
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I should have bolted when I had the chance!
Too right, eta - this thread really screws you up.
I guess I'll go listen to some Tchaikovsky...
How Suite.
Is that his Ball music ? [I mean music for dancing balls, of course]
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[I mean music for dancing balls, of course]
I've never seen balls dance. I've seen beans jump, though.
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if this goes much further, we'll all be getting a bit teste...
formerly known as etaoin...
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Rhuby:
I've been acorn to follow up on this to tell you about some of the nuts in my family. One of my favorites is living on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, where he makes his lving collecting shells. A true beachnut.
There's one who is a bit of a black sheep, spending all of his time chasing women. He's our Macadamia nut, of course. Other family members, cognizant of his penchant for big boobs, refer to him as a chestnut. Due to my penchant for building furniture, I'm of course thought of in some branches of the family as a pine nut.
Then there's Gesundheit, so called because he's a cashew. My distant cousin is into personal data devices, so he's often referred to as a palm nut, though there are some in our family who think he's called that because of a certain penchant for autoeroticism (which is NOT getting it on in the back seat of the car.)
My great uncle is a noted entomologist, but since many in our family can't spell that we just think of him as our betel nut. His wife only works on wick ends, so we call her our candlenut.
TEd
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aw, nuts!
I'm all shelled out over this one... and I think there are no stones left unturned...
formerly known as etaoin...
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Dear TEd: Was there never a Mannekin Pis in your family? A little peanut?
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I've seen beans jump, though.
I've only seen runner beans. Maybe they were practicing?
They were a bit green, come to think of it.
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don't forget the human beans...
formerly known as etaoin...
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¡Ah, si! I too have seen the frijoles jump.
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Pooh-Bah
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I've seen beans jump, though.
I've only seen runner beans. Maybe they were practicing?
Maybe they suffer, as did the cook in my Dad's Sarf-Lunnon caff, from "haricot veins"
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you could be vericlose with that one, Rhub...
formerly known as etaoin...
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don't forget the human beans...Would that be a half-baked association, eta?  For more on "human beans", I'd recommend reference to Roald Dahl's Big Friendly Giant (BFG). Especially if you have kids.
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stranger
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You are a gem of a parent, TEd, and your "children" seem to be real pearls. I take a more jaded approach, myself. Maybe I get a little too flinty at times -- or my voice is too gravely -- but my stones tend to be a little petrified of me. Maybe we're just from different social strata than you and yours. It occurs to me azurite, that you have probably taken quite a lichen to your rocks.
We do have some guys who have pretty interesting stories, though. Our copper is a state trooper. Opal, Ruby and Amethyst are milked for they're worth at the local lapidary. Sodalite is a diet soft drink entrepreneur; people drink his beverage by the quartz. Some of our A-fossils went to the local ba silica to study the prophets Mica and Malachite. They also enjoy the coral music there.
Well, I guess I'd better stop geoding you before you're ready to bauxite my ears. But if you accuse me of hounding you or picking a fight, I will have an instant lapis of memory.
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I'm just a shale of my former self after that. I suspect it's a case of igneous fatuus, or is that just a metamorph for some other problem? Turquoise and I were discussing it the other day but I'm at loess to understand what they were saying. I think the nub of it's loaming at the edge of my mind but as long as they keep the stalagtite I'll never escape to track down the clues.
ML, I think you have a great future here. Don;t let anyone talc you into leaving!
TEd
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I guess I'm an old skin-flint, but all I can think of is I wish I had practiced my Vulcan death-grip.
I suppose I'd better go down to the pebblic library and read up on rocks... I don't think I have the stones to keep up with you folks.
formerly known as etaoin...
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stranger
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Leave? "Even if someone gave me the coal shoulder, I wouldn't zinc of it!" she said ironically. This is no ore-dinary message board, and my intention to mine it will not be in vein.
"Micah" aka Edie
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you're worth your weight in gold, Edie! welcome! 
formerly known as etaoin...
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This may seem igneous of me, but franklinitely speaking, I find all these sediments a lode of malachitarkey! Welcome Micah68woman! May you're sparkling flakes continue to glitter to grace the wit and words which form this board's unique conglomerate! And what a specimen it is! Worthy of any true rockhound's collection!
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enthusiast
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For more on "human beans", I'd recommend reference to Roald Dahl's Big Friendly Giant (BFG). Especially if you have kids.
'As I am saying', said the Giant,'all human beans is having different flavors.Human beans from Panama is tating very strong of hats.'
'Why hats?' Sophie said.
'You is not very clever,'theGiant said, moving his great ears in and out. 'I thought all human beans is full of brains, but your head is emptierthan a bundongle.'
'Do you like vegetables?' Sophie asked. hoping to steer the conversation towards a slightly less dangerous type of food.
'You is trying to change the subject,' the Giant said sternly. 'We is having an interesting babblement about the human bean. The human bean is not a vegetable.' 'Oh, but the bean is a vegetable.' 'Not the human bean,' the Giant said. 'The human bean has two legs and a vegetable has no legs at all.'
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i am synclined to join you etaoin, but i don't think even that would help. Puns are really hard for me.. so I am diamond to an existance where they are rare.
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Yeah, I think I'll barite here now that alabasters are gone. And I'm being perlite in calling them that, though some people think I should take anotehr lime.
Being here is fun because we have celebrities come in. Did you know that Saturday is going to be Kato Kaolinite? He's probblygoing to make some obsidian remarksm most of which are graphite, but I guess that's his bismuth and he gets to write off his com-pewter on his taxes. And the nice thing about Kato is we don't have to pay him because he's antimony, though we have to feed him and he has a pretty good apatite. About his humus, though, the loess said the better.
As geode is my witness, I think I'm about to diorite here. And I thought it was gonna be a marble-ous crowd. Ouch, you give tufa one and all you get's a wacke. Takes a lot of grit to keep doing this in the face of that kind of pumice-ment.
TEd, who wrote this kind of lazuli.
TEd
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'The human bean has two legs and a vegetable has no legs bat all.'Thanks for that, Jim. A little quote that captures the essence of the whole.
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[applause][applause] Bravo! Encore! 
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Pooh-Bah
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and a vegetable has no legs bat all... so why is it called a legume?
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>>and a vegetable has no legs bat all
... so why is it called a legume?Vegetables certainly don't have legs as they stand, Rhuby. But Legend has it that they made some, possibly out of Lego. 
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Vegetables certainly don't have legs as they stand
What about vegetables stands.. if vegetables don't have legs, how is it they go around standing all the time?
vegetables stands are a common site.. (unless stand there is use as in Custer's Last Stand. are vegetable stands are where vegetable try to hold out, and not get eaten?
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Pooh-Bah
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What about vegetables stands..
over here, Helen, we torture our vegetables on vegetable racks.
And the Leg end you refer to, shona, - is it covered by trousers with turnips?
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In reply to:
is it covered by trousers with turnips?
wouldn't you cover your tur-nips with a shirt?
formerly known as etaoin...
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wouldn't you cover your tur-nips with a shirt?
Oh then they would look napier wouldn't they?
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Pooh-Bah
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wouldn't you cover your tur-nips with a shirt
..only if I were a Swede.
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stranger
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Aww... thank you, guys! (That's the generic term -- along the lines of "all uh y'all.")
I've been on the road and it looks like I dropped my end of the lode, huh? At least I missed quite the slurry of activity here. We word slingers do so enjoy both the hunt and the quarry, and some of us just get boulder and boulder.
It does appear that we have schistematically crushed this topic though. And that's probably best; I suspect that everyone has had quite enough of all this gee-ology.
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spelunking, for myself, i don't know if i can agree with you, and now that we are discussing vegetables as well, a whole new crop of words are ripe for the harvest..
it would pease me no end to continue this..
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Pooh-Bah
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now that we are discussing vegetables as well, a whole new crop of words are ripe for the harvest..
You're right, helen - this thread is by no means a has-bean. If you carrot all for words, you'll continue to mangol them in the same ole way.
So - on the thread goes, and lettuce wish god's spud to her.
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god's spud
We need some way of warning the unsuspecting reader that a thread has degenerated into a morass of poor excuses for puns.
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>>god's spud
...poor excuses for puns.
Is it the Spud u don't Like, Fal ?
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Pooh-Bah
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a morass of poor excuses for puns.
or, indeed, an excuse for poor puns.
Of course, strawberries and other soft fruit are sold in punnets in UK.
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an excuse for poor puns.
Of course, strawberries and other soft fruit are sold in punnets in UK.Perhaps punnettes would be slightly squidgy puns - of which we see plenty hereabouts. And a producer of punnettes would be a punneteer. AWAD has a lot more than three punneteers.
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