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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye fokes
I'm fierce sorry about that. Mabee I wanted ta do a number 2 (who came up with that one any how?)
Just ta get ye back fer been so pendantic (prudes please look away now)...
What's brown and sits on a piana stool?
Beethoven's last movement.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
if you put them in a room, alone, with a phone, they will always take
the phone apart.
Isa therea phonesa made ina Napoli? He coulda takea the Napolean phoneapart.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Then there was the Pakistani diesel fitter. Worked for his brother in the bazaar. Held up the clothes and said "Diesel fitter! Diesel fitter!"
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 444
addict
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addict
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 444 |
What's brown and sits on a piana stool?What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picasso! [no way to do brown text! No fair!  ]
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 200
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 200 |
"He coulda takea the Napolean phoneapart."
Of Corsi-can.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
addict
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addict
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475 |
these are real excerpts from a disability form the government requires one to fill in in England when claiming.
Are you blind? tick here
Can you read? tick here
Do you speak English? tick here
Can you write with your right or your left hand? tick here
Can you understand anything anybody says? tick here
And so on for about nine A4 pages.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
Of Corsi-can.
Unlessa he's-a doin' hisa business ina da wet toilet, da water-loo, denna da Corsi-can't.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
A saleswoman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees an
Indian woman hitchhiking.
Since the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Indian
woman gets in. After a bit of small talk, the Indian woman notices a brown
bag on the front seat.
"What's in the bag?", she asks.
"It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband", says the saleswoman.
The Indian woman is silent for a while and then she says, "Good trade."
Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first one.
"Me, too", said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of
worms. They ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. "I'm so full I
don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.
"Me neither, let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun", said the second.
"OK", said the first.
They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen
asleep, a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up. As he sat washing his
face after his meal, he thought, "I love baskin' robins."
BLONDE HONEYMOON
On the first day of their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy
but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to
find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he
replied, "Because it's Lent."
Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I
have ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?"
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
Reminds me of the Wong family, from Shanghai. Mrs. Wong disappeared one day, and it was two years later that Mr. Wong tracked her down in hedonist Honk Kong. He found her with a bouncing blue-eyed baby girl sitting on her lap. Mr. Wong remonstrated, "Now, now, my dear, two Wongs don't make a white." She smiled coyly and replied, "It's OK. This one was purely Occidental."
TEd
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
"It's OK. This one was purely Occidental."
Yeah, sure, Ted, she was just temporarily dis-oriented.
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