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Carpal Tunnel
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Dracula took his vacation in Italy one year. He arrived at his hotel at about sundown, and Louie the new bellhop thanked him for the generous tip as he dropped his bags at the door to his room.
He got settled into his room on the top floor, and decided to get a bite to eat. He took a quick glance at the menu and ordered the steak tar-tar. The waiter knoced on the door and Dracula says "Who is it", the waiter replys "It's a Tony, your waiter, with a you steak a da tar tar". Dracula opens the door and Tony pushed his cart through and Dracula attacks Tony from behind and quickly sucks him dry. Dracula throws the body out the window and immediately orders another steak tar tar.
Five minutes later another waiter knocks on the door and Dracula answers "Who is it? The waiter replys, "It's a Dino with a you steak a da tar tar". Dracula opens the door and Dino pushes his cart through and Dracula attacks him from behind and sucks all the blood out of Dino too, and then throws his body out the window.
About a minute later, down in the lobby, Louie the new bellhop comes up the manager and yells "I Quit". The manager cries "Oh, Louie, you've only been here for two hours what could be the matter?" Louie replies "I just can't handle that drained wops keep falling on my head".
Apologies to the Italian's reading it, but it was an Italian who told me this one
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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truly awful =) thanks kev! hey, Jackie, you know a joke or three, don't you? 
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addict
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I knew I'd find a place to share this one!
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi'."
BET YA READ IT TWICE!!
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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how to spella Mississippi
lol!
It also reminded me of an interesting conversation I had with a sweet friend I used to talk to all the time... this joke seems ideal to read on the page, working better than if narrated vocally (FTF) Is there a word for this phenomenon of humour that is orthographically based, which is sometimes even a kind of sight-gag pun?
and if not, what shall it be henceforth? ;)
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear musick: how did the shag rug on the floor in the back of the van get into the header?
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Here's one for all you sheep lovers Hi CapK A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe therein. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornification!! One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary. "You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn't take a genius to work out what has been going on!" The missionary replies: "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on occasions" The chief pauses for a moment then says "Tell you what, you don't say anything about the black sheep, I won't say anything about the white child"!
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Joined: Mar 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Let's Shag, Baby!Gives a whole new meaning to the Walt Disney movie, The Shaggy Dog, doesn't it? The Only WO'N!
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear consuelo: I don't know much about genetics, but I doubt very much that the missionary could have sired a white child even if he tried many times. In the days of slavery, there were many children born of black women and white miscegenators.(many unprintable words regretfully rejected) I never heard of one being born white.
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Joined: Jun 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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I say, I say, it's a joke son!
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Joined: Mar 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I say, I say, it's a joke son!
She said, sheepishly.
The Only WO'N!
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