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#60823 03/12/02 02:50 PM
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During a chat in the hall, a co-worker asked for examples of insults that don't refer to originally neutral things. For example, why is "You cow" so insulting? There's nothing essentially wrong with cows, or with various body parts; bitches and bastards aren't actually rotten or evil. I came up with jerk, but that wasn't insulting enough. Ditto for rotter. So - what is an insult that really insults?
Have a field day - I promise not to be offended, no matter what names you throw my way.


#60824 03/12/02 03:09 PM
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You turkey!

You dog!

Milksop!

Pirate varmint!

Lily-livered coward!

Pusillanimous buzzard breath!

Bottom feeder!

Slime!

...but the best of the insulters are found among Shakespearean characters--the bard has long lists of terrific insults. I know none of them by heart.

Bad remarks,
WantonWords


#60825 03/12/02 03:22 PM
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That reminds me of a Winston Churchill story

Whilst at some extremely posh function WC was indulging in his usual heroic consumption
of brandy and weaving around the place a bit , upon seeing this the hostess Lady
something-or -other strolled up to WC
and said loudly and disapprovingly "YOU SIR ARE DRUNK!" to which WC replied "AND YOU
MADAM ARE UGLY BUT I WILL BE SOBER IN THE MORNING"

the Duncster

#60826 03/12/02 04:17 PM
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but the best of the insulters are found among Shakespearean characters--the bard has long lists of terrific insults

Actually, as I recall, the bard was rather tame by the standards of his day, and some of his contemporaries were much more creative in their invective.

Can't quite recall who were examples (Ben Jonson?); can anyone help?


#60827 03/12/02 05:00 PM
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In a review, Dorothy Parker once panned a stage performance by the great Katherine Hepburn saying that "Her performance ran all the gamut of emotions from A to B."


#60828 03/12/02 06:02 PM
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Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced
> with "Thou":
> Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
>
> artless base-court apple-john
> bawdy bat-fowling baggage
> beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
> bootless beetle-headed bladder
> churlish boil-brained boar-pig
> cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
> clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
> craven common-kissing canker-blossom
> currish crook-pated clack-dish
> dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
> dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
> droning doghearted codpiece
> errant dread-bolted death-token
> fawning earth-vexing dewberry
> fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
> froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
> frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
> gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
> goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
> gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
> impertinent fool-born gudgeon
> infectious full-gorged haggard
> jarring guts-griping harpy
> loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
> lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
> mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
> mangled hell-hated jolthead
> mewling idle-headed lewdster
> paunchy ill-breeding lout
> pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
> puking knotty-pated malt-worm
> puny milk-livered mammet
> quailing motley-minded measle
> rank onion-eyed minnow
> reeky plume-plucked miscreant
> roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
> ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
> saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
> spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
> spongy rude-growing pignut
> surly rump-fed puttock
> tottering shard-borne pumpion
> unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
> vain spur-galled scut
> venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
> villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
> warped tickle-brained varlet
> wayward toad-spotted vassal
> weedy urchin-snouted whey-face
> yeasty weather-bitten wagtail

http://www.renfaire.com/Language/insults.html


#60829 03/12/02 06:31 PM
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Thank you, slithy! I was just gonna ask if anyone had a link to those.


#60830 03/12/02 06:48 PM
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I must be dazed or something here, but I don't count three columns in the insulting list.

Do I need my eyes checked?

Stary-eyed,
OrB~


#60831 03/12/02 06:50 PM
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try the link instead; it doesn't copy well unless you use preformatting.


#60832 03/12/02 07:07 PM
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try the link instead; it doesn't copy well unless you use preformatting.

Yeah, OB~. Like that tottering knotty-pated mumble-news said.





#60833 03/12/02 11:41 PM
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I must be dazed or something here, but I don't count three columns in the insulting list.

Dern WordWind, must you be so literal? What Slithy Slove was saying was...

Insults should never be original. They must be clearly understood by the in-group, otherwise they fall flat in their effect.
I think.



#60834 03/13/02 12:03 AM
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Attempting here to format slithy's columns, as tsuwm suggested. The merit here belongs solely to slithy; I'm merely the scrivener.
   Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced
with "Thou":
Column 1 Column 2 Column 3

artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted death-token
fawning earth-vexing dewberry
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
impertinent fool-born gudgeon
infectious full-gorged haggard
jarring guts-griping harpy
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
mangled hell-hated jolthead
mewling idle-headed lewdster
paunchy ill-breeding lout
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
puking knotty-pated malt-worm
puny milk-livered mammet
quailing motley-minded measle
rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlet
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy urchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
--


#60835 03/13/02 12:36 AM
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milum muses Insults should never be original. They must be clearly understood by the in-group, otherwise they fall flat in their effect.

if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have sufficient to drive once around a cheerio on a moped.



http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

#60836 03/13/02 12:51 AM
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Ooooooh, that sounded suspiciously like a gauntlet being thrown. You guys picked your seconds yet? This I gotta see.


#60837 03/13/02 12:56 AM
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tsuwm, when Mark Twain's wife -- attempting to cure him of swearing -- repeated his own invective back at him, Twain calmly replied: "You have the words, dear, but you lack the tune."



#60838 03/13/02 01:32 AM
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wwh (Dr. Bill) says: That reminds me of a Winston Churchill story... But it is signed: the Duncster

Hey...you two sharing the same brain today? I know men are half wits, but you two together don't make a whole wit! [ducking for cover in the spirit of the thread-e]


#60839 03/13/02 03:57 AM
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The quality of insult is not strained.

--Jonathan Swift



#60840 03/13/02 04:10 AM
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weird insults...


You heavyweight crock of greasy vulture gizzards.
You sterile assortment of congealed hamster droppings.
You grotesque basin of fornicating carrion.
You illiterate gob of seething camel hairs.
You bad breathed wheelbarrow-full of soppy weasel warts.
You dumb excuse for moth-eaten Wookie hair.
You saucy shovel-full of malignant rodent droppings.
You glutinous plethora of radioactive cancerous anal polyps.
You outrageous bunch of embarrassing sweat-socks.
You dismal heap of manky dog urine.
You uncultivated cake of noxious dirty underwear.
You crotchety descendant of mealy lizard bums.
You heavy-duty flob of petrified rubbish.
You dirty toilet-full of cheesy toad tumors.
You brutish mountain of imitation chicken waste.
You psychotic skip of fungus-covered slime-mould.
You perfidious chunk of fly-covered fish lips.
You undignified ball of vile carp guts.
You superficial tub of mutilated bug parts.
You pea-brained pool of fusty zit squeezings.
You vile drum of rancid sludge.
You useless bucket of fermenting frog fat.
You inhuman bag of gross rotting vegetation.
You idiotic apology for dirty sweaty socks.
You selfish cesspit-full of sun-ripened ass hairs.
You boorish sack of wormy ape puke.
You whiney pot of decayed whale waste.
You opinionated accumulation of old cat furballs.
You spotty cup of synthetic skunk waste.
You goofy lorryload of cute parrot droppings.
You insulting sliver of sloppy athlete's foot scrapings.
You blundering crate of dusky toe jam.
You pompous swamp of moldy sweaty jockstraps.
You obese collection of ancient rectal hair.

The one highlighted in bold is my favorite. I mean, what could someone possibly say back to you if you say that to them? They might even say "thank you" for it!









#60841 03/13/02 02:47 PM
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I usually use shithead or a pismire. Sometimes I'll say coprocephalic imbecile. My kids call each other coprolites.


In recent years I've begun to ponder the question Mr Sammler asked, "Who made shit a sacrament?"


Frau Edie told us one of the worst things you could call someone in German was "eine sau," a sow. Apparently it has some sexual connotations.


During cultural revolution in PRC a big insult was son of a dog. My wife told me that one way to insult another person was to tell him you were his grandfather. Both of these seem pretty mild and I wonder if she is sheltering me from the really juicy stuff.


k



#60842 03/13/02 03:21 PM
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re:one way to insult another person was to tell him you were his grandfather. Both of these seem pretty mild and I wonder if she is sheltering me from the really juicy stuff.

I dunno, i have had sexist managers, younger than me, call me "Young Lady" (in a certain tone of voice..) and let me tell you , it was very clear they were being insulted.

in past years, Blacks, in this country, no matter what there age, where insultingly called "Boy".

if i claim to be your grandfather, i am claiming more prestige, and claiming i should be ranked higher.. (and if i am a street sweeper, or other lowly person,or just younger than you) that could be insulting.

It's no insult to call a char woman "a lady", but in the movie, Mrs. Brown, the court was shocked when Mr. Brown called the queen "Woman!"

words are used to define status, and if i verbal lower your status, i have insulted you!

call a doctor by his first name (HI Dr Bill!) you are informal. but call a doctor Dr. Quack! and you are insulting!

insults vary depending on context. You can be as wise an an owl, or bird brain.. as strong as an ox, or as dumb as one! Except in Animal Farm, i can't think of anywhere, where pigs came out on top!--


#60843 03/13/02 04:00 PM
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if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have sufficient to drive once around a cheerio on a moped.-tsuwm

Boy-Hidie, When goodbuddy tsuwm conjured up the audacity to direct this insult, one of the oldest in the book, to me,
who is The Milum, I got so mad I wanted to spit.

So I did. Then I furtively searched Slithy's Famous Three Column list for just the ever-so-apt invective in order to vent my spleen...

Mmmmmm...swag bellied is good...yeah but I do so much like toad spotted, still...Pig nut! Yes Pig nut! It is so, so, tsuwm... but then again it's just not...

Finally I became so exasperated I stood up, flicked a limp wrist in what I percieve as tsuwm's direction and screamed...

"Damn you, tsuwm!... you...you...you... big bruiser!"

And then I gave him the finger.


#60844 03/13/02 04:26 PM
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Actually®©™¿°, jerk is very insulting.


#60845 03/13/02 04:34 PM
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If an insult is a disparagement, then is an outsult a compliment?


#60846 03/13/02 04:48 PM
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hey everyone; check out badass milum! he's so cool that the worst punishment possible would be to end up on his s*list. tread lightly, because he has an itchy finger, and would much rather tell all and sundry that he used it than spend the time to cobble together a well-written, witty or entertaining retort.

#60847 03/13/02 04:50 PM
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a well-written, witty or entertaining retort.

Your nose is big. so there


#60848 03/13/02 04:57 PM
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oooh, Faldage! <steam rising> I'm gonna have to break out the alphabetical insult again, for you.

http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

#60849 03/13/02 04:59 PM
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what is an insult that really insults?

An effective insult must fit the situation. No prefabricated phrase, just dropped into place, can have the same effect as an insult crafted to the lock onto the victim's indivuality. [cross-threading: another recent thread made the same point, in another context]

Disraeli once described the manner of Bishop Wilberforce as "unctuous, oleaginous, saponaceous." And the good prelate was ever afterward known as Soapy Sam. For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it. -- Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary



#60850 03/13/02 11:49 PM
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i can't think of anywhere, where pigs came out on top!--

Helen, how quickly you forgot the Useless Knowledge Thread in Miscellany: 4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (I want to be a pig.)

http://wordsmith.org/board/showthreaded.pl?Cat=&Board=miscellany&Number=59284&page=&view=&sb=&vc=1

Hey lady? You got Cranial Rectumus or something?


#60851 03/13/02 11:53 PM
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Angel, you are so right! if its true, i wouldn't mind coming back as pig.


#60852 03/14/02 12:32 AM
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troy says, I wouldn't mind coming back as pig.
Isn't the word "back" superfluous?




#60853 03/14/02 01:01 AM
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#60854 03/14/02 01:20 AM
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almost the entire list has been shown to pure and utter BS
Might that be just a bit of an exaggeration, Max? Besides, you've got to admit that Angel's pig-tale, true or not, was fun. To pararphase Ogden Nash,
Though some may say your heart is big,
I think you're jealous of the pig.


[Edit: P.S.: me too! ]

#60855 03/14/02 01:34 AM
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Me three!


#60856 03/14/02 01:36 AM
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hmmmmmm ... perhaps this explains why Hollywood's Kevin Bacon is so popular among the ladies?

and gives new and deep meaning to the phrase "ham it up".

#60857 03/14/02 01:44 AM
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...why Hollywood's Kevin Bacon is so popular among the ladies?

Well, he did cause a few Tremors, and he's known to be Footloose!


#60858 03/14/02 02:06 AM
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#60859 03/14/02 02:30 AM
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in light of the fact that almost every other statement on that list has been thoroughly debunked.

Yes, Max...but can you actually debunk the dialectic if there's no real evidence against it?is there the shadow of an insult here in keeping with the theme of the thread?-e


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the length of the sow's orgasm has increased significantly

I hereby record that I am distinctly in favor of anything that significantly increases length.


#60861 03/14/02 12:16 PM
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the length of the sow's orgasm has increased significantly

I hereby record that I am distinctly in favor of anything that significantly increases length.


Duration, too...



#60862 03/14/02 03:25 PM
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If an insult is a disparagement, then is an outsult a compliment?

All depends on whether you're saying it to your in-laws or your outlaws.


#60863 03/14/02 03:51 PM
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I have this screaming urge to point out that Faldage's faux insult to tsuwm is straight out of Rostand (1897).

no apologies to Steve Martin


#60864 03/14/02 04:22 PM
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Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli,
"I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or
of some vile disease". Disraeli replied, "That all
depends upon whether I embrace your principles or your
mistress".


#60865 03/14/02 04:28 PM
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The following is attributed to Sam Rayburn, I believe:

A congressman entered a restaurant and, seeing his opponent seated at lunch, walked up behind him. "Sam," he said, putting his hand on the seated gent's bald head, "your head is as smooth as my wife's ass." Sam rubbed his own head for a second, and replied with a glint in his eye, "Why, so it is, Joe; so it is."


#60866 03/14/02 04:34 PM
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>Faldage's faux insult to tsuwm

oh, thanks alot[sic], ASp, for opening up a passage for yet another shot in the shnoz from the drip.

http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

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Excuse me, but all insults concerning oversize proboscises should properly be directed at me.

[mutter-mutter. toucan play that game, you know ...]


#60868 03/14/02 08:03 PM
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Hey, Keiva! Has that bluebird family come back to resume residence in your shnoz...I mean yard?


#60869 03/14/02 11:53 PM
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Hey, Maxie!
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!


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#60871 03/15/02 01:43 PM
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> During cultural revolution in PRC a big insult was son of a dog

When I first learnt construction site Italian, I was struck by the frequent use of dio cani (dog god) to insult everybody and everything. If used in English the intended recipient would probably fall about the place laughing!

Mind you, the same education gave me "gutso" and "figa" (sp?? - never got spelling lessons on site). I've used these a million times since and felt greatly satisfied each time. And no I won't provide a translation. (Apologies to our resident Latins).

stales


#60872 03/15/02 06:19 PM
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dio cani

Then there was the time during my brief foray at French in a semiformal setting when a classmate called me a radio network.

His pronunciation wasn't any too good.


#60873 03/20/02 07:12 PM
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I have this screaming urge to point out that Faldage's faux insult to tsuwm is straight out of Rostand (1897).

By all means, release your screaming urges!

Although these may not specifically be insults, a couple oldies but goodies: When someone didn't hear what was said or missed the key point they are told to " get the s**t out of their ears" or if you are caught bulls**tting Mom used to say "Your so full of s**t your eyes are brown!"


#60874 03/20/02 07:40 PM
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musick, here's a slighty less vivid variation on the same theme:

I'll bet things would sound vastly different if you wiped the rectal polyps out of your ears.

http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

#60875 03/20/02 08:18 PM
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if you wiped the rectal polyps out of your ears.


Or the closely related, your head's stuck so far up your ass you're looking out through your eyeballs. This can be shortened to the cryptic, you're really looking out through your eyeballs. This sounds almost like a compliment.


#60876 03/20/02 08:26 PM
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"Or maybe your head is so far up your ass that the goo you comb from
your hair won't be $#!+ for three days."

http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

#60877 03/20/02 08:33 PM
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Harrumph [on a PC and don't know the alt thang for marca registrada]


#60878 03/20/02 09:33 PM
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That's the idea®

(&)(#)(174) (without"()")


#60879 03/21/02 09:52 PM
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You're so far up yourself that you need to stick a toothbrush up your ass to clean your teeth.

May your ears turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders.

Not very savoury, but.



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#60880 03/21/02 11:04 PM
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M
old hand
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You're so far up yourself that you need to stick a toothbrush up your ass to clean your teeth.

...ooooh, I do so love it when you guys wax intellectual.


#60881 04/02/02 05:41 AM
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B
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B
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In reply to:

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli,
"I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or
of some vile disease". Disraeli replied, "That all
depends upon whether I embrace your principles or your
mistress".


Sorry Dr. Bill, but I'm pretty sure this was first addressed to the Earl of Sandwich, with the word pox used instead of vile disease.

Bingley



Bingley
#60882 04/02/02 06:51 PM
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K
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K
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and "on the gallows" rather than "by hanging".

http://wordsmith.org/board/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=miscellany&Number=52637; Jan. 21

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