|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163
member
|
OP
member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163 |
The inflict/afflict thread got me thinking about this pair. What is the difference between an explanation and an excuse? My beloved and I seem to have substantially different views on this subject.
No matter how eloquent, elaborate, or indeed, sincere the explanation I furnish, it always seems that the rather perjorative term "excuse" is being applied to it?
Some help on this matter would be very much appreciated, ummm, soon.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Oh Lordy, have I been there! And I don't think this is going to be of any help, but. I think an explanation has valid logic behind it, and an excuse has made-up logic behind it. And most of the time, the judging of what's valid and what isn't is ENTIRELY subjective! CK, I believe you've had a fair amount of experience with ...you know what! What do say to Rous.' query? (Good luck, by the way, Rous.--perhaps you'd better take a quick course in persuasion techniques?  )
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
No excuses, no explanations. Dinner and flowers and a small gift are perhaps in order? 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
An explanation is supposed to be a recital of pertinent facts. If one person has injured another, and offers a satisfactory explanation, he/she may deserve to be excused. Too many explanations are in the category of "My dog ate my homework."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
My mother used to say that I should write a book of excuses. Actually, I don't think that there is any real difference between an explanation and an excuse except context. An explanation is an excuse when you are relating the reasons why something happened, usually something over which you had control, thought you had control over or should have had control over.
Fictional excuses are just lies.
Having said that, I guess I should give context.
If you are late for work once or twice over an extended period because of unanticipated events (like abnormally heavy traffic or an accident), it's an explanation situation. You have allowed for all reasonable events, but you can't control externalities.
If you are continually late for work your explanations for the individual incidents degenerate into the realm of excuses no matter how good the reason for each discrete event. The various explanations may, of themselves, be perfectly true, but the reason they have become excuses is because you are not reacting to the root cause - you have control, but you are not exerting it. The real reason you are being continually late is because you are not leaving early enough. The fact that the traffic was slow, the bus was earlier than normal on any given day or whatever is the proximate but not the ultimate cause!
Boy, that was long-winded. HTH, Rous.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
DearCD "I don't think that there is any real difference between an explanation and an excuse except context"
Not sure what you mean by "context". Most explanations have nothing to do with exculpation.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
The real reason you are being continually late is because you are not leaving early enough. You do know me, don't you? 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
My favorite uncle told me about a guy who was always late, because his watch had a little behind hand.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163
member
|
|
OP
member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163 |
Not sure what you mean by "context". Most explanations have nothing to do with exculpation.Ahh, but here in Ontario you can enter a plea of "guilty with an explanation" for some traffic offences. This might not necessarily be exculpatory (although it could be) but would at least present mitigating factors. As to context, it seems that my offerings are excuses while my better half's are explanations!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Ah, well! Now you're getting nearer to territory I have been in before! My ex-husband, God bless his pointy head, always was ready to place the blame squarely on my broad shoulders for just about anything that happened. I was so unfortunate one time as to be stung by a jellyfish while standing in ankle deep water in the Gulf of Cortez. Somehow, this was deemed my fault. I must have provoked the poor thing.  If the Skylab had fallen on my head, the last words I would have heard would have been, "Why were you standing there and let it hit you?" Of course, if anything happened to him, it would have just been bad luck. Not his fault at all. Like when he got his girlfriend preggers.[/rant]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Not sure what you mean by "context". Most explanations have nothing to do with exculpation.
Well, I don't think I can make my explanation any clearer, Bill. All excuses are nothing but explanation, but not all explanations are excuses. It's the explanation's validity as an excuse which is up for question. That question can only be answered by context. If it weren't then all explanations of one's actions would be, by definition, excuses, and that's a nonsense!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Yes, context is important - and so far as excuses v. explanations are concerned, it is, surely, the context of relationship?
An explanation is given to someone with whom you are co-operating (in one sense or another) in order that they may understand why a certain event has taken place (or failed to!) and be able to participate fully in whatever action or inaction is then appropriate.
An excuse is offered to someone who has power to "punish" you, in order to get yourself off the hook!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Cap K sez: All excuses are nothing but explanation, but not all explanations are excuses.
Rhuby sez: An excuse is offered to someone who has power to "punish" you
Gotta more or less go along here. An excuse is an explanation of a screw up. Usually it is an attempt to deflect the blame.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027 |
"Qui s'excuse, s'accuse" - to accept an explanation, you have to believe in causality, and to reject an excuse, you have to believe in free will.
And: why are so few explanations profferred for lucky outcomes?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
RousP may be on to something with mitigating factors as the operative part of explanation.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
And: why are so few explanations profferred for lucky outcomes?Because, if I tell you how I managed to perform such a wonderful deed, you may well be able to do it as well or better than I, and maybe cheaper (no R&D costs!) so I may be out of a job!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
The difference that is most focused upon 'round these parts is "reason -vs- excuse". People know the difference, but they are often used interchangeably:
A manager asked a supervisor "How come this job wasn't supervised". The supervisor said "Because I wasn't here that day". The manager said "Don't give me an excuse!". The supervisor said "I didn't! I gave you a reason".
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,027 |
The difference that is most focused upon 'round these parts is "reason -vs- excuse".
Sorry to disagree: A reason - even if given after the fact - differs from an explanation in that the latter disowns intent and responsibility for the causal chain involved.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163
member
|
|
OP
member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163 |
Sorry to disagree: A reason - even if given after the fact - differs from an explanation in that the latter disowns intent and responsibility for the causal chain involved.
An explanation does not have to disown intent or responsibility.
"Why were you late getting home?"
"Well, I thought I could stop at the mall to pick up something, but it took longer than I thought."
In this example, responsibility is being accepted but the rationale for the decision is being given. Excuse is the word I would use to descibe an attempt to weasel out of something.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
An explanation does not have to disown intent or responsibility. ... Excuse is the word I would use to descibe an attempt to weasel out of something.Yes ... but in certain marital situations no comment made can be an explanation, only an excuse. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163
member
|
|
OP
member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163 |
Yes ... but in certain marital situations no comment made can be an explanation, only an excuse.
The easiest thing is to just apologise. It doesn't matter if you know what you are apologising for or why, just apologise.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
The easiest thing is to just apologise. It doesn't matter if you know what you are apologising for or why, just apologise.
You see? There really are some universal standards.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
just apologise
some universal standards
Yeah, ya gotta humor them.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
Yeah, ya gotta humor them.
Isn't that part of the standard marriage vows?
"To have and to hold, to love, humor, cherish..."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Well, if ya know which side your toast is honey-buttered on.....[flipping hair back with both hands-e] 'cause if ya can't be arsed with bowing to the goddess.......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163
member
|
|
OP
member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163 |
My father taught me the most important words any husband needs to know. For him they have worked for just over 50 years: "Yes Dear"
(A close second is pretending to read the newspaper.)
The nice thing about "Yes Dear" is that it can be said with almost as many different tones of voice as "Nothing" which most husband's I'm sure have heard at least once in response to the question, "What's wrong?"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
If you want your marriage to flourish,
Like love in a loving cup,
When you know that you're wrong, admit it;
When you know that you're right, shut up.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 144
member
|
|
member
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 144 |
Sorry for the delay chaps - been rather busy - from what I remember of (hazily) learning law, the arguments were about excuse vs justification.
An excuse did just that - excused the action. It offered a valid (in the mind of the defendant) reason for why the action had occurred and why the defendant should not be held responsible for it.
A justification justified why the action had occurred but made no attempt to excuse it. As in 'pleading guilty with justification"
Perhaps in transport to Ontario that justification has got translated into explanation?
|
|
|
|
Forums16
Topics13,913
Posts229,363
Members9,182
| |
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
|
|
|
1 members (wofahulicodoc),
388
guests, and
1
robot. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
