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http://heptune.com/farts.htmlActually, there is a wealth of knowledge there...just never thought of studying it before. 
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addict
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Actually, there is a wealth of knowledge there...Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.I'll have to remember to bring this little tidbit of information up at my next dinner party! 
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Carpal Tunnel
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Re: Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame
while its not suitable for the dining room--it could be part of your party entertainment to provide a demonstration.. those with powerfull muscle contol cna have small, steady flames.. impulsive people could blurt out flames fast and furious. demure ladies yeah, right! could puff out little balls of flame..
have a bucket near by-- you would want to mar the party fun by having hair catch on fire!
sorry--its been a long week!
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I highly approve of such an informative article, which gives answers to legitimate questions . All of the information appeared to be correct, and there was nothing objectionable that I noticed.
I wish the Internet had far more articles like this, with anatomical and physiological information we all need.
But no badword censored deleted unprinted pornography. I really object to porno Spam.
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Thank ya Whitman - that was grate gas altagather. It just blew me mind. I'm boweled over.
GT
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Thank ya Whitman - that was grate gas altagather. It just blew me mind. I'm boweled over.
Wwh - How is things? I agree - it was rather imformative, yet at times treated in an infantile way.
GT
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Thank ya Whitman - that was grate gas altagather. It just blew me mind. I'm boweled over.
Wwh - How is things? I agree - it was rather imformative, yet at times presented in an infantile way.
GT
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GT, Tell us what you *really think. 
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Howya Anna
Sorry fer posten three times - that was an accident! (oh dear, excuse me! - so was that!)
Seriousally though, Anna, I read some of it and must admit that parts of it were informative, but some of the questions and comments were a bit innane and silly.
I'm not totally against tiolet humour - if I find somethin funny , I laff - be it clean or smutty - but I never laff at a durty word, comment or concept just fer the sake of laffen at the aformentioned. Of course I did when I was just a little fart of a cub - but I growed outa that - like most big cheeses should.
Hope that answers yer query
GallantTed
PS - perhaps you can help me with a word? What is a ratchet?
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Dear GT: No article can meet the needs of those less well informed than you are, without seeming inane to you. The matter of a fine mist of intestinal liquid being sprayed into the room is no joke. About fifty years ago the New England Journal of Medicine reported a series of cases of post-operative infection at the MGH which were traced to an anaesthetist who was a rectal carrier for penicillin resistant staph. I don't remember fatalities being mentioned, but there could have been. And think what a field day the malpractice lawyers could have had! No defense could have been successful. And how you would feel if a member of your family had been a victim?
A ratchet is a turd larger than a mouse turd.
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Dear wwh
Re Dear GT: No article can meet the needs of those less well informed than you are, without seeming inane to you.
I'm not exactly sure what point you are tryen ta make but if ya go back over and read me comments when the mist has cleared, ya might see that although, I thought the artical was indeed informative, I felt parts that of it were presented in an innane fashion. The tone and use of language didn't always meet me approval.
Perhaps yer right - I may not be that well up on me farts, but I've being known ta spot a boring old one from 50 paces (only joken, Dr Bill! - just couldn't resist that one!)
GT
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Dear GT: may I suggest you never volunteer to produce flatus for ignition by sadistic experimenters. I remember seeing it done when I was a kid, and the victim screamed bloody murder claiming the muzzle of the cannon got burned, because the flame went both ways. Reminds me of joke I heard at that age. Kid gets caught by the Devil, who says he will let him go, if he can think of something impossible for the Devil to do. The kid cocks up one hip, emits a thunderous blast, and insolently says: "Chase that around the corner, strain it through a sieve, and paint it green".
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Post-edit: [expression-of-concern deleted, the matter having been well-resolved by all] Thank you.
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Ho! What's this? Here we are a word site, and no one cares about palindromes...yet lots of response to farts!
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Newer Ted, your "boring old one" line certainly gives the lie to the first part of the screen name you chose. And if that line was a direct ref. to my beloved Dr. Bill, then I am going to tell you that: there probably isn't any person who isn't boring at some time or another; and even if he were, I love that man and do not want him to be insulted. Ever.  GRR-RR. We have really developed a pattern of not doing that here. Disagreements can be worded as facts, not insults.
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Dear Keiva: Of course GT's last sentence was way out. Some old farts can be recognised at much greater
distance.
Let's get literary. I wonder why mythology should not have some impressive manifestations of this phenomenon. Hephaestus could have employed it.
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No old fish on this board. If you see an old fish, I'll cornobble him, especially if he's an arctophile.
Nothing 'bout Bills, however, is boring, and that's worth bearing.
Best regards,
DubDub
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Dear Everyone
I'm a very peaceable bear at heart and never likes ta upset anyone.
I likes very much Dr Bill - in fact he was one of the first people ta welcome ta the site. I don't want ta be washen me durty laundry in public, but in a private correspondance ta Kieva I did explain me actions.
Ya see, I thought the comment Dear GT: No article can meet the needs of those less well informed than you are, without seeming inane to you was also inappropriate and as I said ta Kieva "What's good fer the goose is good fer the gander." I'm quiet sure thar Dr Bill took the hole thing in his stride. Whitman is quite right in his comments - it seems as if the s*** has indeed hit the fan and a Fart War could brake out any minute!
Unfortunately, if this is the case I'm goen ta have ta bow out now, fer if a war does brake out I'll surely win. Ya see, I take no prisoners and as I have a mind like a sewer (though I don't often use it)(the sewer bit, that is - not me mind), I'll have plenty of ammunition and all that sorta stuff and nonsense ta fight with. I've got a lot of stink bombs in me arsenal as well.
Anyways, I'm sure Bill took my comment in the same way I took his - in the best of fate. If ye do continue the fight may the best man win, cos this bear has farted around enuff fer one day and won't be taken sides!
Keep the peace and may the forts be with ya.
GT
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>no one cares about palindromes...
ned, dam strafe farts madden
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I have committed too many worse sins on the board to be entitled to such kind demonstrations of affection. I took no offense, and have sent GT a pleasant PM. Peace be unto us all.
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Dear wwh,
And I concur with you. Peace.
And note to the teddy bear: I've been cornobbled here probably more than most. I am Kwean Kornobbled, in fact, kwean of the small fried.
Best regards,
WordWobbler
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As G-Ted and dr. bill respectively said:
Keep the peace Peace be unto us all.
Amen. Thank you, gentlemen.
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old hand
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Thank you o thank you WON!!! Having never got past the fart joke stage, this site had me giggling like a naughty schoolkid. The URL will be sent to as many others as I can think of!!
And there's books...........and CD's - oh joy!!!!
stales
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Actually, there is the makings of a word thread (  ) here. Discovered this on the old "words with unusual etymologies" thread": Re origin of "pumpernickel" involving Napoleon's horse:
Random House and American Heritage give about the same etymology. This is RH: [1750-60; < G Pumpernickel orig., an opprobrious name for anyone considered disagreeable = pumper (n) to break wind + Nickel hypocoristic form of Nikolaus Nicholas (cf. NICKEL); presumably applied to the bread from its effect on the digestive system]pumper?...for fart? Which leads us to other synonyms or euphemisms for fart...pass wind, passing wind, break wind, breaking wind...others?
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>pumper?...for fart?
in German...
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well, let's go the gasto! sorry, I know Here's the etymology of fart from Merriam-Webster. And, Dr. Bill, there's some Greek roots here, wouldn't'cha know it? And tsuwm, O Purveyor of Smelly Palindromes, is there anything more on OED? Main Entry: 1fart
Pronunciation: 'färt
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Middle English ferten, farten; akin to Old High German
ferzan to break wind, Old Norse freta, Greek perdesthai, Sanskrit
pardate he breaks wind
Date: 13th century
often vulgar : to expel intestinal gas from the anus
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To make a mountain out of a molehill is "Aus jedem Furz einen Donnerschlag machen."
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>pumper?...for fart?
in German...
Ah, das ist grosse Pumper, eh? Phewwwwww!
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During a lecture about the Wasserman test for syphilis, the lecturer described the preparation of the reagent, which among other things includes "alcoholic extract of beef heart".
Immediately the class idiot demanded, "How do they get the bees to do it?"
Not a mondegreen, but related.
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Resurrecting: this just found, while looking up something else.
Macbeth, Act I, Scene 3: A heath near Forres.
Thunder. Enter the three Witches ...
First Witch: A sailor's wife had chestnuts in her lap,
And munch'd, and munch'd, and munch'd:--
'Give me,' quoth I:
'Aroint thee, witch!' the rump-fed ronyon cries.
Her husband's to Aleppo gone, master o' the Tiger:
But in a sieve I'll thither sail,
And, like a rat without a tail,
I'll do, I'll do, and I'll do.
Second Witch: I'll give thee a wind.
First Witch: Thou'rt kind.
Third Witch: And I another.
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