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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye Fokes! How is things? Haven't been around fer a while. Ya see, I gots a job writen articals on drains and gargoyles and that sorta thing. Imagine me worken fer the Gutter Press - me Mammy is really proud.
Listen, on a more seroius note, did ye know that Santy is short of teddies this year? Well, ye do now!
After a tip off from Goldilocks didn't he orgenise a big huge raid on Slasher's - me local bar - ta round up all the teddies. I'll tell ya, the fight what enscewed was only terrable and ya can take it from Ted that that Rudolf fella won't be the only raindeer with a red nose this Christmas.
Anyways, lookily most of us managed ta escape but me pal MadDogTed is still missen. So I thought with it been Christmas and all that I better give ye all a fear warnen.
If MadDogTed ends up in yer Christmas stocken send him straight back ta Slashers Bar - IMMEDIATELY. He's a rear genwine Streiff bear and he's not very domistikated, ya see. Don't try ta hug him. Don't put a silly bow on him. Don't call him MadDogTed ta his face and whatever ya do - DON'T take him ta bed with ya. Not if ya have any shame, that is.
Don't be fooled by his cute looks either (he's not half as cute as Ted, of course). Them close-set eyes are a ded give away but if yer still in doubt check his left ear fer a button earing in the shape of a half eaten S. If yer still not sure, look fer the "Made in Haste" label on his back. And if yer a bit thick and still haven't copped on, check that ya still have all yer fingers and that yer wallet is still where ya left it.
So ye have been warned - if ya get him from Santy send him back ta Slasher's with a few bottles of rum fer me troubles. I'll tell ye, me nerves are faught with the worry.
A Happy Christmas ta ye now.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
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Dear GallantTed: How does one recognize a Streiff bear?
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
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ARGHHHHHHHHH
Bill,
Don't you recognize a straight line?????
St. Reiff is gonna come down your chimney!!!
And you'll never hear the end of it from Ted the Two!!!
(Frankly, I can't wait )
TTF
TEd
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
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Dear G-Ted,
I think I've seen 'im.
One of the stealth blondes who hangs her sorrows over the edge of the oak at my local pub came in with a newbie last night, and she was lookin a bit star-crossed. He fits the description ya gave, 'cept the the earring looked a bit chewed on (she's been known to do that sort of thing).
He kept splittin up with her to drop a fiver into the cherry master, and after a few whacks he gave the face plate a punchin' that nearly facilitated it's own payout.
He'd keep goin back to her like a junkie... gulping shots of Powers... turning on the charm... I don't see much in them close-set eyes (as you put it), but apparently she does. It won't be long before she's tapped out cause somthin tells me he ain't the marryin' kind.
I'll check his label next time he's in... after I hide my wallet, that is.
Thanks for the warning.
Peace
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Listen, I bet ye'll all be relieved ta learn that me frend MadDogTed has been located. It seems as if Santy off-loaded him on some little spacemen, who managed ta tame him a bit. Appartently, they're teachen him the art of Druidic Medicine. Imagine!
Anyways, MDTed said that he wants ta come home and heel the world. He said he'd even do a slot on me Forem. Can't wait meself.
So, ye can stop worryen now!
Be seein ye
GT
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Well, G-Ted, if it's the Druidic medicine he's after learning, at least it will give him some sole toe go with his heeling.
I just hope that he's being taught by the Arch-druid, if he really wishes to establish himself on a sound footing.
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Arch-druidMy Aunt is a druid?? 
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Do you mean you don't know whether or not your Aunt is a druid?
You could always give her a golden sickle and stand her near the mistletoe and see what happens.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
golden sickle ? 'Splain, please--'fraid I'm not up on my Druid Hx.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye
Rhubarb - I'm sure he'll keep his finger on the pulse of the hole operation.
Jackie - Could ya ask yer Auntie Druid how I'm supposed ta address MDTed when he comes home. Is it Yer Druidship, Mr Druid, Dr Ted, Yer Physican, Sur or what?
Be seein ya
GallantTed
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