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Re: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" #48385
11/23/01 04:22 AM
11/23/01 04:22 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
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consuelo Offline
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Why did the little boy put garbage in his shoes?
To feed his piggies!


elephant jokes #48386
11/23/01 04:42 AM
11/23/01 04:42 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,538
this too shall pass
tsuwm Offline
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this too shall pass
here's some of the less sophisticated elephant jokes:

q: why do elephants have flat feet
a: from jumping out of trees.

q: why don't elephants always have flat feet?
a: some elephants wear tennis shoes.

q: why do some elephants have wrinkled feet?
a: from tying their tennis shoes too tight.

q: why do elephants have long noses?
a: so they can swing from limb to limb.

q: why do ducks have webbed feet?
a: so they can stamp out forest fires.

q: why do elephants have flat feet?
a: from stamping out ducks that catch on fire.

q: enough?


Re: Hateful humour #48387
11/23/01 01:31 PM
11/23/01 01:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
Birmingham, Alabama
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milum Offline
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Birmingham, Alabama


The Essence, Origin, and Developement of Humour...or...How I bought a brand new doublewide for Mom. - Milo Washington

Humour is a displacement mechanism. The oriental giggles at the faux pas, she is embarrassed. A bear in mid-charge ,stops, turns, shrugs (figuratively), and goes off to play with a stick. She is confused. The man didn't run. She is embarrassed by the man's inappropriate behavior. The elephant doesn't charge the Landrover, he redirects his anger and knocks down a tree. We humans are a economical bunch, we smile, laugh, at the incongruent in order to get out of the kill mode. Poking fun at another is a indication that one has affection for the other, in other words a joke is an act of kindness towards others or ourselves. A joke is a request FOR forgiveness of the perpetrator of a stupidity, a joke is man's own attempt at Godlike kindness.
Thank you.
PS: Dear tED Remmington, At $50.00 a pop I figger that in redneck jokes alone, you owe me more than all the money that was or ever will be. Please send it soon . I plan to give most of it to charity.


Dixie humour #48388
11/25/01 02:19 AM
11/25/01 02:19 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Louisville, Kentucky
Jackie Offline
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Sweet Milo, your title reminded me a great deal of the southern (U.S.) humorist Lewis Grizzard; enough so that I went to one of his websites. Now, tsuwm has only had partial success in teachin' me not to violate copyright laws, so I'm only gonna copy a parcel of a column of Mr. Grizzard's that caught my eye: it's titled "CROSSING THE MASON-DICTION LINE".

Now, to Dawgs and Hawgs.

A dawg is a Southern man's best friend, as in, "That dawg'll hunt."

A hawg is Southern for, "You can lead a hawg to water, but all he'll try to do is waller in it."

But I was watching a network telecast of the Atlanta-New Orleans NFL playoff game recently and one of the announcers was hyping the telecast of the Independence Bowl. It came out: "It's the Dugs and the Hugs in the Independence Bowl."

It was quite obvious the announcer wasn't, as they used to say back home, "from round heah," which basically meant he was a Northerner.

Read my lips: "Dawwwwwgs." Put your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Then bring it down forcibly and spit out "Dawwwwwgs" by forming the mouth into a circle. If it comes out a little nasal, more the better.

For "Hawwwwwgs," it comes from deep in the throat as in "Haw!" Pretend you're spitting out a bad oyster.

Some announcers also say the Atlanta "FALL-cuns." It's "FOWL-cans." And they say "aw-BURN" when they should pronounce it "AW-bun."

Television, I believe, is responsible for the slow disappearance of all sorts of accents in this country. I'm afraid one day everybody will sound alike, and that would be a shame.


Here's the link to the article, which isn't a whole lot longer than what I just copied...
http://www.lewisgrizzard.com/columns/archive/Crossing_Mason-Diction_Line_09-23-2000.html



Re: Dixie humour #48389
11/25/01 03:09 AM
11/25/01 03:09 AM
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"I'm afraid one day everybody will sound alike, and that would be a shame. "

Dear Jackie: I disagree very strongly with the opinion above. Different accents can promote xenophobia, which this country does not need. I regret that television has been so slow to homogenise the nation's accents. I hope for unity, not divisiveness.


Re: Dixie humour #48390
11/25/01 04:24 AM
11/25/01 04:24 AM
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Rio Grande, Cape May County, N...
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I'm afraid one day everybody will sound alike, and that would be a shame. "

Dear Jackie: I disagree very strongly with the opinion above. Different accents can promote xenophobia, which this country does not need. I regret that television has been so slow to homogenise the nation's accents. I hope for unity, not divisiveness


Sorry, Dr, Bill, but I have to disagree. I think losing the diversity and character of linguistic dialect, homogenization, is a sad and B-O-R-I-N-G prospect. Although the mass media, I'm afraid, has rendered this process unavoidable. Not to mention that professinal actors and broadcasters are trained to lose their regional accents. But xenophobia...no. The accents of immigrants who speak foreign languages is a whole nother thing. What this gentleman is pointing out here is the loss of the Southern accent, the Boston accent, the Western twang, etc. (We even have a homegrown, Southern-like twang here in South Jersey
called "piney," native only to folks who live in and around the vast and remote reaches of the Pine Barrens).
I remember when this was mentioned back on another thread someone said that across the pond the Brit broadcasters are encouraged to use their regional accents/dialects. So perhaps this is largely a Usn thing?


Re: Dixie humour #48391
11/25/01 02:58 PM
11/25/01 02:58 PM
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wwh Offline
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Dear WO'N: I say again, the strength of our country is in our unity. Anything leading to divisiveness is to be avoided.
I hope that regional differences will fade away, and be only the study of academics with nothing better to do.


Re: homogeneity? #48392
11/25/01 04:12 PM
11/25/01 04:12 PM
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Keiva Offline
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IMHO, my view is that (so long as our differences are not excessive), "Vive la difference!"

and dr. bill, may I suggest that our federal system in part reflects the judgement that regional differences are valuable? When varying states take varying approaches to deal with a problem affecting each of them, the best approach will emerge from the crucible of experience?

Re: homogeneity? #48393
11/25/01 04:24 PM
11/25/01 04:24 PM
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wwh Offline
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Dear Keiva: E pluribus unum.


Re: homogeneity? #48394
11/25/01 04:49 PM
11/25/01 04:49 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
Cincinnati & Loveland, Ohio, U...
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Jazzoctopus Offline
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Cincinnati & Loveland, Ohio, U...
E pluribus unum.

I don't know if you're helping your case by quoting this, wwh. I think this is interpreted widely as saying that through the vast diversity that we have in this country, we become one nation greater than the sum of our parts. The country was founded on the principles of liberal individualism. Rather than confining the people to one code of behaviors and morals, they made the very rule enforcing the acceptance of diversity the first amendment in the Bill of Rights. The freedom of speech implies the freedom of accent.


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