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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328 |
The size of this thread was a bit daunting at first, but I am profoundly glad that I kept on reading... This discussion has, more than any other thread I've seen to date, made me aware of the reasons I came to this forum and the reasons why I want to stay. We are different, we have different opinions and beliefs and backgrounds, but we also have certain things in common, and those are what we need to focus on. The main thing I want to say is that we should be patient with each other. I may have tried the patience of some of you at times  but I have never felt rejected or snubbed, and for this I thank you. I often feel slightly out of my depth here-- I'm so used to being "the smart one" everywhere else, and it's entirely different on the Board. There are so many impressive people here that I sometimes feel a little intimidated, or that I don't really have much to contribute. Most of you are older than I am, wiser than I am, or at the very least more experienced at this thing we call life than I am. This is not only true of me, but of some other members of the Board too. Have patience with us, please. With that said, I want to let you all know how much I enjoy being here most of the time. I love the erudition, the humor, the banter, the simple friendship of this place. Thank you for the courtesy and kindness you have extended to me-- please extend it to other newcomers and "youngsters" as well. Much love, Alicia
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
But it is always hesitatingly that I come, now. More than that—I come with a vague sense of agony.How sad Insel. I know some of you have no clue who I am and my opinions may not carry much weight but it might be a good idea, when you feel personally slighted, to send a personal message to the person who posted the note you believe is attacking you. I really feel, like Jazz, that in most cases, it is a phrase or sentiment that is misunderstood - miscommunication at its worst. Cliques, there are cliques?? And why wasn't I invited  ? I don't think clique is exactly the right word sweetie. It is normal that some people, who have been on the board for a while, have more shared experiences than with newer folks. Think about your personal group of friends. Do you not have some that you've known longer, who share more friendship 'baggage' than others. The other ones are not less important to you...just important in different ways. I always read the Board believing that everybody is here to have fun and that the people here are basically kindhearted. Armed with that, if anything ever upset me (an extremely rare occurrence), I would go to the source to sort it out. It has *always* worked out. This is like a family - quirks and all. People have always taken me the way I am, proverbial warts and all, well I certainly appreciate it and do the same for them.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
Bel,
While I maintain my positions, in general I can't really disagree with yours. I'm not really sure why I spoke up here at all, except that the resolution to a specific problem looked like burying a more general one which several, mostly female, correspondents felt existed. My remarks necessarily concerned my personal experience, but I brought up that experience in order to address what seems to be a more a--similar--general one. I wouldn't have brought the topic up myself--I only learned of the thread because it was pointed out to me. But, while I don't see the point in insisting on carrying baggage, I do have an aversion to sweeping things back under the rug once they've come out from under it.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
Sorry I'm not around much, it isn't anything personal. I just don't have much time and I think that the day that I became an "addict" I knew I really was. I do get the daily e-mails and sometimes get time to read them. But the board is another matter ... for the size of the problem, look at the figures in brackets, and I've not been away all that long!
Q&A about words 14672 posts (3439 new)
Wordplay and fun 6960 posts (2278 new)
Last post: Mon Sep 3
Some of my work is on a project basis, so I lurch from half a job to one-and-a-half jobs at different times of the year. Then there are family committments and I do sometimes get to read a book. I've got a new always-on-broadband connection, so I don't need to count the pennies anymore but I do need to watch how much time in the day I spend sitting at a screen a) bad for my eyes (I really do suffer if I spend too much time looking at a screen) and b) bad for my girth - I really can't afford to skip any more exercise classes, I'll just wobble to oblivion.
I think that this board will be great place to spend my retirement (just keep going for another twenty years) as long as I get out for some air from time to time!
So, like many others, I enjoy being part of this community but have to accept that I have to give some attention to the other communities in my life. I'll be around from time to time to say hello and if I have anything that I think is worth saying.
BFN
Jo
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Thanks, Jo! WONDERFUL to see you again! Ya-hoo-oo!
You two, my sweet belM!
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Well, Bel, that's pretty much what I was trying to say in my own clumsy way. Good on yer, mate! 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 157
member
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member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 157 |
I think we need to give people the benefit of the doubt when something is said that could be offensive. It can be hard to say what you mean concisely and without spending too much time on it. As mentioned elsewhere on the Board, there is ambiguity in almost any sentence. I've said some clumsy things in my time here, hoping that others would assume the best ( )! If someone says something that bothers you, ask for clarification. I do think we should keep the language and jokes at least moderately clean, especially knowing that there are some young members on board. There, I've put my two cents in...
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
>at least moderately clean
I've always been in favour of this. I supose that the term "moderate" is like "reasonable" it is down to individual definition.
I find, when watching films and television with my children that a lot of it goes over their head, buried in a context that they don't understand. Have you ever seen the film "Grease"? I saw it at the age of, maybe, 15. I saw it on video recently and realised that there was a story buried in there that even as a fairly "savvy" 15 year old, I had completely missed!
On the other hand, there is a lot of a much more explicit nature, especially here where programmes are "dressed up" as documentaries How many documentaries to we really need to make sure we are fully aware aware of the minutiae of life as a lap dancer, for example? My daughter caught the end of a programme the other day which was clearly giving the opposite of the strong anti-drugs message that they are given in school. She'll get her chance to make up her own mind some day but I'd prefer her to enjoy her childhood first.
So on the board, which is open (but probably not that interesting) to everyone, I think context is everything. I remember, in the mists of time, starting a discussion on language which gives offence. Gratuitous stuff, no thanks.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
yeahbut®
I have to also put forward a minority view in all likelihood: that prissying around with language in the manner of saying "sh*t" is also offensive. It is like the Victorians primly covering table legs with crochet work. It shows a lack of honesty. Either use the word or don't use it. (just my lack of c. worth)
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
prissying around with language in the manner of saying "sh*t" is also offensive
Not to me. I appreciate the efforts not to offend the sensibilities of someone like myself. I don't like seeing that kind of word here, though I don't mind it in books or using it if called for. So yes, I'm prissy.
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