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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
"gets my vote for a TEd-dy award!"
Thanks you, dear lady, but I must decline, for mine wasn't original. Besides, the clear leader at this point is your own "only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
Edit, as to "friars" True story: When a third-grade class was reading Robin Hood, a boy asked, "How can they boil Tuck in oil?" The teacher asked him, "What's wrong with that?" and the boy replied, "You can't boil Tuck. He's not a boiler; he's a Friar."
The next day the boy saw his teacher, in the hall, repeating his joke to her co-workers. "This is power!, he thought, and decided then and there to be a comedian when he grew up.
He's now grown up, and tells this story on himself. His name is Jay Leno.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Cool, Sweetie--thanks for sharing that. Gee, reading your great posts is becoming a hapbit with me. swma 
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
addict
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addict
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679 |
And since we mention carrion - here's a dreadful couple of puns about carrilon
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day when an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job.
The bishop was incredulous."You have no arms!"
"No matter." said the man, "Observe!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.
The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed down the Cathedral steps and outside. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked; "Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot!
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to the bishop's side.
"What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked breathlessly. I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "But he's a dead ringer for his brother."
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 157
member
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member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 157 |
A pun like that must not go unanswered.
One day a man walked into a restaurant and ordered the Eggs Benedict. He was surprised, however, to see it brought to him not on a plate, but on a hubcap. When he quesioned the waiter, the waiter began to sing, "Oh, there's no plate like chrome for the hollondaise!"
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 157
member
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member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 157 |
Hey, everybody, lookit me! I'm a member!! 
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