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#2921 11/20/00 03:25 AM
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In reply to:

don't say silver to an OP (old person)!


Apparently, the phrase "silver surfer" is used by some UK OAPs to describe themselves once they get connected.


#2922 11/20/00 04:17 AM
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don't say silver to an OP (old person)!

silver dollar
silver-backed gorilla
silverfish
silverware
silver lining
Silver City
silver-tongued divil
Silver-me-timbers,
silvery isn't dead.



#2923 11/20/00 08:42 AM
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Once given a hint any twerp'll
Be able to rhyme lines with purple,
While adding run-ons means that orange
Is casually matched up with porringe-
rs - as you see - though for silver
Dyslexics must stand and edilver.



#2924 11/20/00 12:11 PM
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Anna

If in words' music you are a bilver,
To read these forced rhymes with words like silver,
Will hurt your ears and damage the lver,
And will leave you crying "Don't! Please! Dilver".




#2925 11/20/00 12:38 PM
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shanks and Avy,

I stand (nay, sit) behumbled. Thanks for your purple poetry.


#2926 11/20/00 05:24 PM
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purple poetry

pomes, pennyeach...

By Sickle Moonlight

the flickering sliver of silver in the river’s
not a fish,
it’s an elver.

and later, when it’s lovingly lifted, it’s
not a bike,
it’s an eelevator.




Silver & Orange: Surf viva all the fittest

A yellowing son of a silver suitor
Taught UK the Orange name;
BT was slow to heed the tutor -
Now daily loses the numbers game.

Silver surfers seek perfection
On mobile-modem telephones –
Their choice, for error-free connection:
The name now sold to Francophones!

The future’s bright, the future’s Orange -
The lesson of this telecoms tale?
Old friendships easily break, or hinge.
Old-fashioned (not just old) will fail.


(note to non-UK friends: Orange, a brand floated by Hutchinson Telecom of Hong Kong, was massively promoted in the UK with “The future’s bright… “ as their buy-line, much to the discomfiture of British Telecom which by inference got labelled as old-fashioned; now Orange is set to be a leading brand in European telecoms having been sold to France Telecom)



#2927 11/21/00 09:38 AM
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pomes, pennyeach


Priceless, no less, mav!

Priceless, no more, mav...








#2928 11/21/00 09:49 AM
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The kid that played The Artful Dodger in the movie Oliver

Somewhere from deep in the dank purplish recesses of my brain, there's a sudden shock of orange lined with the merest sliver of silver as...

Jack Wilde, was it?

I'm moderately awed/appalled that Puffinstuff (Puf'n'stuf?) has been a Transatlantic success. Even if it was back in the decade that taste forgot!


#2929 11/21/00 11:44 AM
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Spectacular stuff, mav. I'm prostrate.


#2930 11/21/00 02:23 PM
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>What again were those Middle English/Old English words that rhymed with"purple." I've searched the archives to no avail.

Roses are red;
Violets are purple,
sugar is sweet
And so is maple surple.

OK. Not very good. But I think you will agree that the following poems ARE good. I wish I could find the author to congratulate her:

In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great 2000 Election Controversy is so big that a bunch of all-star poets have come out of retirement to quickly set the story to rhyme.

For starters, history buff Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

Listen, my children, don't dare ignore,
The midnight actions of Bush and Gore
In early November, the year ought-ought,
Hard to believe the mess they wrought.
Two billion bucks of campaign bounty
All came down to Palm Beach County.
What result could have been horrider
Than the situation we found in Florider?


Edgar Allen Poe is his usual gloomy self:

Once upon a campaign dreary, one which left us weak and weary
O'er many a quaint and curious promise of political lore
While we nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping,
As of some votes overlapping, energy-zapping to the core
"'Tis a mess here," we all muttered, as the network anchors stuttered,
Stuttered over Bush and Gore.
Could there be another election with such a case of misdirection,
One with such a weak selection, yet fraught with tension to the core?
Quoth the ravers, "Nevermore."

Or perhaps Nevergore. Ted

Britain's Edward Lear's limerick is lighter:

There once was a U.S. election
That called for some expert detection -
How thousands of pollers
Could become two-holers
Like outhouses of recollection.

Ditto Ogden Nash:

I regret to admit that all my knowledge is
What I learned at Electoral Colleges,
So tell me please, though I hate to troubya,
Will the winner be Al, or will it be Dubya?

Joyce Kilmer's a media analyst:

I thought that I would never see
The networks all so up a tree.
Walt Whitman is lyrical, as always:
O' Captain! My Captain! our
fearful trip's not done
The ship has weather'd every rack,
but nobody knows who's won.

Alfred Noyes rhythmically rumbles:

And still of an autumn night they say, with the White House on the line,
When the campaign's a ghostly galleon and both candidates cry, "'Tis
mine!"
When the road is a ribbon of ballots, all within easy reach,
A highwayman comes riding,
Riding, Riding,
A highwayman comes riding, and punches two holes in each.



Dr. Seuss takes a look at election officials:

I cannot count them in a box
I cannot count them with a fox
I cannot count them by computer
I will not with a Roto-Rooter
I cannot count them card-by-card
I will not 'cause it's way too hard
I cannot count them on my fingers
I will not while suspicion lingers.
I'll leave the country in a jam -
I can't count ballots, Sam-I-Am.


Clement Moore adopts a holiday theme:

'Twas the month before Christmas, when all through the courts,
All the plaintiffs made stirring bad ballot reports.
Which leaves the problem:
Perhaps the best way to stop complaints that are raucous is
Start over again, with the Iowa caucuses.




TEd
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