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#28496 05/05/01 04:30 PM
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If you cloned a Olympic gold medal female skater would you have an Ice Queen Clone?

Who would you clone,or not?
And off we go .............

#28497 05/05/01 04:36 PM
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if you cloned the queen of traditional american pop music would you get Rosemary Cloney?


#28498 05/05/01 05:32 PM
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Could two frankfurters on a bun be a Cloney Island?


#28499 05/05/01 09:02 PM
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If you cloned a Olympic gold medal female skater would you have an Ice Queen Clone?

To return to Irish pop/folk singers of the early 70s, would Mr. O'Sullivan's duplicate sing "A clone again, unnaturally"?


#28500 05/06/01 08:26 AM
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Or set up a society for indigent parthenogenetically originated humans: "Home A Clone".



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#28501 05/06/01 01:23 PM
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I think I read this in Sillitoe's story, "The Cloneliness of The Long-distance Punner"


#28502 05/06/01 03:45 PM
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And there was the egotist who went to the sperm bank and
asked for a clone...


Psst--k, I liked the Cloney island one! 2 hot dogs--


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With a knick-knack paddy-whack give your dog a clone...

[duplicated in the true spirit of cloning by thier executive order]


#28504 05/06/01 03:58 PM
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Been racking my brain for a pun on ice cream cone.
Surely someone ???

As for clones in general, I think we need to clone Mel Gibson and Pierce Brosnan for starters. (Dibs)
Ladies?
Gentlemen?
Yeah we need to clone a few more of those, too. But it's meant as an invitation not a statement; all you literal-ies.




#28505 05/06/01 10:16 PM
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I think we need to clone Mel Gibson and Pierce Brosnan for starters.

I'll have a David Duchovny and a Jude Law, please. And throw in a Harrison Ford while you're at it.


#28506 05/06/01 10:25 PM
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if you cloned the queen of traditional american pop music would you get Rosemary Cloney?

If she went mad and began investing in vestments, would she be Clothesmary Looney?


#28507 05/07/01 01:08 AM
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Would the middle letter in the word be Eau de Clone?


#28508 05/07/01 02:47 AM
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Eau de Clone?

Actually, Betsy, one can make Eau de Clone by combining two identical hydrogen molecules with one oxygen molecule, and - bang! you've got water! Chemists invented cloning!


#28509 05/07/01 02:51 AM
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if they cloned George Clooney (he's 40) and married it to Rosemary Clooney's clone, it'd be Rosemary Clooney-Clone-Clooney-Clone, baby.


#28510 05/07/01 12:52 PM
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I think we need to clone Mel Gibson and Pierce Brosnan for starters.

I'll have a David Duchovny and a Jude Law, please. And throw in a Harrison Ford while you're at it.


Oh, come on, ladies, show some class! Clone Marty Feldman! Then clone him with his sister, feed the clone lots of beans, and you'd have Farty Meldman


#28511 05/07/01 01:43 PM
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ladies, show some class! ... Farty Meldman

And who is this pot calling the kettles black?

George Clooney married Rosemary Clooney
Aren't they closely related?

#28512 05/07/01 02:19 PM
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" George Clooney married Rosemary Clooney
Aren't they closely related? "

Reminds me a of a sick bumper sticker I saw a long time ago:

"Incest - the game the whole family can play"



#28513 05/07/01 03:02 PM
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Pooh-Bah the 1th wonders about the consequences of cloning George Clooney (he's 40) and marrying it to Rosemary Clooney's clone

Oedipus Cloone?


#28514 05/07/01 03:29 PM
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if you could, somehow, regenerate Pinto Colvig would you get Bozo the Clone?


#28515 05/07/01 07:04 PM
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George Clooney married Rosemary Clooney
Aren't they closely related?


George cahnt marry his ahnt.


#28516 05/07/01 07:09 PM
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>George cahnt marry his ahnt.

but weez talkin' clonin' here -- there ain't no stonkin' rules!


#28517 05/07/01 07:27 PM
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>George cahnt marry his ahnt.

but weez talkin' clonin' here -- there ain't no stonkin' rules!


I was trying to be econonmical with my post, and answer wow's questions while working in a reference to another thread. Oh well, never mind.


#28518 05/07/01 08:00 PM
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"I fall to pieces"

Patsy Clone


...and I thought I was the one who hated *contrived puns? Live and learn


#28519 05/08/01 04:00 AM
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And who is this pot calling the kettles black?

A psychoceramic, my dear wow! (crackpot)

Now, if AnnaStrophic were to haul Larry Flynt down to Atlanta and genetically alter him by inserting a common Suthrin food staple gene into him, she could have some porn clone with supper.


#28520 05/08/01 07:08 PM
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Bozo the Clown
Better to try to clone so as to replicate Chuckles the Clown; the one who perished so tragically when the elephant mistook him for a peanut.


#28521 05/08/01 08:28 PM
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...she could have some porn clone with supper.

Sick, Geoff. Truly sick. (in other words, you're in top form)

-Anna"No Grits, No Glory"Strophic


#28522 05/09/01 04:28 AM
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Sick, Geoff. Truly sick.

-Anna"No Grits, No Glory"Strophic


Glad to know we're in hominy on this one!

Geoff "Just say 'no' to okra" Sanders


#28523 05/09/01 12:34 PM
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"Just say 'no' to okra"

I used to like okra in chicken gumbo soup, but haven't had it for years. My wife hated the slimy consistency of it. Is that what makes the rest of you dislike it?

Grits is just one more type of cooked cereal, OK, but not a gourmet treat.

The only thing I had trouble with was "Philadelphia scrapple" I had to force myself to remember what my mother taught me about being polite when served that.


#28524 05/09/01 01:09 PM
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Grits is just one more type of cooked cereal, OK, but not a gourmet treat.

Says who! AS, y'all ready to gang up on Dr Bill with me?


#28525 05/09/01 01:13 PM
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Gourmets everywhere rally round. Gourmands too. Stand up and be counted.


#28526 05/10/01 01:25 AM
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Did you hear the one about the priest who had a clone made of himself? The clone, however, turned out to be completely evil. To make a long story short, the priest felt incredibly guilty and decided he had to rid the world of this clone, so he took the clone out to a cliff and pushed him off. He then turned himself in to the police and was charged with ... making an obscene clone fall!


#28527 05/10/01 09:24 AM
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I like these:

Are the pope and his clone both infallible? What if they disagree
about something?

Can you clone Alan Greenspan, or does it have to be LIVING tissue?

If Larry King clones himself and interviews himself on his show,
wouldn't that pretty much make nuclear war something we could all look
forward to?

If I have sex with my clone, will I go blind?

If the DNA from the bloody glove were cloned and produced a baby O.J.
Simpson, then could we maybe get an actual guilty verdict?

If Hare Krishnas start cloning themselves, how will the rest of us
find out?

If you cloned Henry IV, would he be Henry V or Henry IV Jr. or wait,
Henry IV part II?

If Michael Jackson is cloned, is it against the law for him to play
with himself as a child?

If I have sex with my clone, will I go blind?



#28528 05/10/01 11:30 AM
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Grits is just one more type of cooked cereal, OK, but not a gourmet treat.

Indeed, Geoff! Says who?, I echo. Dr. Bill, cite your authoritative source, please.


GRITS*

*girl raised in the south


#28529 05/10/01 12:11 PM
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Also a nickname for the Liberal Party, not used as commonly as Tories for the Progressive Conservatives. Both stolen from the Brits. (Brit Grits?)


#28530 05/10/01 12:12 PM
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If Michael Jackson is cloned, is it against the law for him to play
with himself as a child?

If I have sex with my clone, will I go blind?

BY, I loved all of your "ideas", and laughed out loud at these two!
==========================================================
GRITS*

*girl raised in the south

Anna, you are one cool grits!
But my opinion on the grain is that it looks and tastes like
a pile of waterlogged cardboard: a gray blob that oozes onto your plate, and just sits there sort of undulating...






#28531 05/10/01 12:23 PM
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Jackie,
You just ain't never had 'em fixed right!

...and just sits there sort of undulating...

I prefer to think of it as "serengyrating"


#28532 05/10/01 12:27 PM
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Brit Grits?, Bean asks?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [running screaming down the street]




#28533 05/10/01 01:14 PM
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Jackie opines: But my opinion on the grain is that it looks and tastes like a pile of waterlogged cardboard

And AnnaS responds: You just ain't never had 'em fixed right!

With a nice runny basil seasoned fried egg or two on the top with some pomegranate habañero sauce and scrumble it all together with criss-cross action of your knife and fork.

Yum! yum!




#28534 05/10/01 03:13 PM
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Takes an old hand to cook new grits.

congrats on your graduation, there, Faldage. (and hold the habañero)


#28535 05/10/01 03:24 PM
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Takes an old hand

Aww shucks, twarn't nuthin, ma'am.


#28536 05/10/01 07:39 PM
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I think we need to clone Mel Gibson and Pierce Brosnan for starters.

I'll have a David Duchovny and a Jude Law, please. And throw in a Harrison Ford while you're at it.

Scott Bakula.

[can't think of how to relate this to language; oh wait - he leaves me speechless emoticon]


#28537 05/11/01 12:48 AM
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I think we need to clone Mel Gibson and Pierce Brosnan for starters.

I'll have a David Duchovny and a Jude Law, please. And throw in a Harrison Ford while you're at it.

Scott Bakula.


Hmmm.... Interesting that no men have chimed in. So much for the theory that men are visually stimulated more than women!

Now, for all us unattatched men, will one of you please start a clonely hearts club? I'll take poet Diane Ackerman or religious historian Elaine Pagels. At least with them, once the" whoopie" is done for the moment, we'll have something to say to each other.


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So much for the theory that men are visually stimulated more than women!


Well, if I were to continue the cinematic theme, my pick would have to be Audrey Hepburn, since you asked.


#28539 05/11/01 01:04 AM
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This post was intended to be a modification of the previous one, but I pushed the wrong button. I just wanted to say that on the intellectual side of the coin, I think I would request Margery Allingham and Ellis Peters, two of my favourite mystery novel authors.


#28540 05/11/01 08:35 AM
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This post was intended to be a modification of the previous one, but I pushed the wrong button.

And I suppose you didn't even realise there was such a thing as a back button on your internet menu bar? Or are you trying to tell us that you'd posted the whole thing (beginning 'This post was intended to be....') before you realised your error?

Ha! Caught out, Quordlepleen!
[fingers crossed behind back hoping you realise that this is in a spirit of spoof rage only emoticon]


#28541 05/11/01 08:42 AM
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Well, if I were to continue the cinematic theme, my pick would have to be Audrey Hepburn, since you asked.

Isn't she dead at the moment? But NOT like Hotblack Desiato ...





The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#28542 05/11/01 08:53 AM
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Ha! Caught out, Quordlepleen!
[fingers crossed behind back hoping you realise that this is in a spirit of spoof rage only emoticon]


Damn! How did you uncover my evil ploy? I was hoping to get away with doing that another 75 times before anybody noticed.


#28543 05/11/01 08:56 AM
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Isn't she dead at the moment? But NOT like Hotblack Desiato ...


And why should that be an obstacle to cloning her, pray tell? There must be plenty enough of her DNA floating around. Just get George Lucas' wunderkinder at ILM to do their thang!


#28544 05/11/01 09:40 AM
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There must be plenty enough of her DNA floating around. Just get George Lucas' wunderkinder at ILM to do their thang!

She was ... um, she was, mmm, ah, don't you think that the dinosaur cloning laboratory in Jurassic Park would be more appropriate? Or are dinosaurs still roaming the earth in Hawkes Bay?



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#28545 05/11/01 09:48 AM
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Or are dinosaurs still roaming the earth in Hawkes Bay?


Not unless you count Labour MPs, but Hastings Boys High is involved in a scientific joint venture with some Japanese biotech firm, investigating the feasibility of "resurrecting" the school's emblem, the huia.


#28546 05/11/01 10:54 AM
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Isn't she (Audrey Hepburn) dead at the moment?

At the moment?? Momentarily?

But since Bill never posted his joke in the previous context of a thread that had drifted onto "French" and "condoms", I do so here.

An American in Paris attempting to buy a black hat made the mistake of asking for "capottes noirs". The clerk asked him why he wanted black ones, he replied that his wife was dead.
"Ah", exclaimed the clerk, "Quelle delicatesse!"

Rod





#28547 05/11/01 12:42 PM
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Or are dinosaurs still roaming the earth in Hawkes Bay?

I used to belong to an organization that advocated using bicycles as transportation, viewing bikes as the future, and cars as dinasaurs. The City of Portland was having a transportation fair, and asked the bike people to help park automobiles. One of our members then quipped, "We've been assigned to Jurassic parking."


#28548 05/11/01 04:35 PM
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And throw in a Harrison Ford while you're at it.

Oh definitely.
{Horrified that I forgot HIM!-e}
And as for those remarks about having something to do besides the "whoopie" -- Harrison is an excellent carpenter -- he earned a good living at carpentry before hitting big in the movies. A very handy man to have around. And if you need a carpenter, well, Harrison Ford is a great choice for a "handy man!"



#28549 05/14/01 08:16 AM
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If I may I'll throw OUT David Duchovny and have Val Kilmer thrown in instead. I've no objections to the others.

Sara x




#28550 05/14/01 04:48 PM
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I learned this weekend that Scott Bakula has been cast as the lastest Star Trek captain. The new series will be a prequel.


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