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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
I am indeed irritated by that dumb critter that wants to help me write letters.I am convinced these obnoxious cartoons were added to the M$ (  Max) package for no other reason than to give them a personality neanderthals could relate to. You can easily kill the m_ther f_kers by searching for "actors" on your C: and deleting the folder. voila: I have murdered herds of them this way.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
"In the state of Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice-cream in your back pocket."My sweet paulb, that is so, because when I slip my hand into your hip pocket, I don't want to get all messy.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
"In the state of Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice-cream in your back pocket."
My sweet paulb, that is so, because when I slip my hand into your hip pocket, I don't want to get all messy.Okay, where are the gutter police when you need them? Anyway, just to let anyone who cares know I'll be away for six days ... in Melbourne. Hope it's not illegal to put ice cream in your back pocket there! 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Don't know where else to put this! It was sent to me as part of my local library's Email newsletter. Very nice site. http://www.ipl.org/reading/shakespeare/shakespeare.html wow THANK YOU Max for calling my attention to the /html error instead of the correct .html -- which is now fixed, wow
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
It was widely believed time back way back in the '60s that there was a place where it was the law that if two trains met at a railroad crossing, both had to stop and neither was allowed to restart until the other had passed.
In the real world and during that same time period we were once faced with a law which did not permit us to move from the bar to a booth or table carrying our own drinks. We had to get the barmaid* (as she was then known) to carry the drinks for us.
*If you think that's bad Ænigma wants to call her barn.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 427
addict
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addict
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 427 |
Thanks for the funny stuff, everyone! It is much appreciated at this time in which I am up to my neck with papers and revision. Sadly, not much time is left me for wandering through these blessed threads, not to mention contribute to them... but I do peek in every once in a while...  Marianna the Mad Grad
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
Especially for AnnaS, apologies if this a YART ~Things a True Southerner Knows~ The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit Pretty much how many fish make up a mess What general direction cattywumpus is How long "directly" is---As in "Going to town, be back directly." That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar When "by and by" is How to handle their "pot likker" Long sleeved shirts should always be rolled up past the elbow The best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of cold potato salad The difference between "pert nigh" and "a right fur piece" The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash Don't assume the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to turn Never to go snipe hunting twice
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Knowing that our Ms. A. is quite busy, I shall step into the breach:
The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fitA hissy fit is much milder, and is usually gone into over something petty, such as a certain Zilder sneaking in a post while I 'uz still typin' mine. But sometimes conniptions are thrown over something that's only worth a hissy. I take a conniption fit if my access to the
internet goes down.
Pretty much how many fish make up a mess8 to 13
What general direction cattywumpus issideways for
Sunday
How long "directly" is---As in "Going to town, be back directly."That's "treckly", or "t'reckly": whenever I get good and ready.
That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar
Nuh-uh--that's gimme a kiss, Sweetcakes!
When "by and by" isDepends on the subject matter.
If you're talkin' about, say, when the next meal will be
ready or when the mail delivery is expected, by and by means sometime today. If you're talkin' about when you expect the next rain or visit from Aunt Martha (often indistinguishable from each other), it could be several weeks.
How to handle their "pot likker"No problem, it's just the cabbage water.
Long sleeved shirts should always be rolled up past the elbowWell, yeah. 'Lessen you're headin' to the dance.
The best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of
cold potato saladYup--we don't hold no truck with that slimy warm stuff. German "potato salad" doesn't even deserve the name.
The difference between "pert nigh" and "a right fur piece"Well, now, this one orter be obvious! Except
pert nigh isn't restricted to distance. If it's pert nigh on to noon, it's about dinnertime.
The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trashA redneck wears a plaid shirt, has a weird haircut, and is invariably Republican. A good ol' boy can be of either party, and makes his or her way along by who they know, not what they do. Poor white trash will vote for whichever party will increase welfare benefits.
Don't assume the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to turn 'Course not! They've prob'ly got the radio up so loud they can't hear the click--click.
Never to go snipe hunting twiceNope--fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
Southern ladies
Along the same lines, some time ago I read a list of characteristics of a true southern lady. I certainly don't remember all of them, Jackie probably does, but here are a few:
- A southern lady uses only sterling silver for a formal dinner and it's inherited, not bought.
- A lady never uses dark meat in chicken salad.
- A lady makes her own biscuits from scratch.
(in Maryland, this means "beaten biscuits", the recipe for which includes the following: "Put the dough on a tree stump [or butcher-block table, for modern cooks] and beat with the flat side of an axe for 3/4 of an hour."
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328 |
Never go snipe hunting twiceYou all might be interested to know (or maybe not, but I'm going to tell you anyway) that we have snipe hunts around here too. The Pennsylvania Dutchies call them "elderdritch" or "elbadritch" hunts. Never been on one myself, but I hear they're good fun, at least for the initiated members of the party.
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