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In Germania's wooded regions
In AD 9 three Roman legions
Were destroyed by Arminius (or Hermann),
And that's why the folks there now speak German.
Found computer science alluring.
He outshone all the smart professors
Who were his colleagues or successors.
If Garibaldi and Mazzini
Had foreseen Benito Mussolini,
They might have had some hesitation
In pursuing Italian unification.
Sir Oswald Mosley
But his Fascists were less of a menace
Than their counterparts in Rome and Venice.
Urged Americans not to remain
Subjects of the British Crown;
Soon the Union Jack came crashing down.
Sir Keir Starmer
Is not naturally a charmer.
His manner suggests that blood, sweat and tears
Are what Britain needs in the next few years.
The monk Dionysius Exiguus
Made dates less ambiguous:
He began counting from the birth of Christ.
For Christians, that sufficed.
King George the Third
Could behave in ways that were absurd.
Caricaturists were unsympathetic:
Their mockery of him was quite energetic.
Last edited by A C Bowden; 04/17/23 12:44 AM.
Never grew to be a man –
In reality a sad affliction,
But quite attractive in a work of fiction.
President James K. Polk
Said: "For the greatness of our folk,
Our territory must expand".
So he grabbed some of the Mexicans' land.
Told a conductor that the orchestra was grotty.
The maestro, in his riposte,
Said: "Signore, it's a question of cost".
Made the London Underground very slick.
He coped with millions of pre-war commuters
Without the benefit of computers.
The fact that they all begin with P is coincidental – unless I made some subconscious association.
Would have been content with a modest villa.
But now, she's at Buckingham Palace
And probably drinks from a golden chalice.
King Charles's role as Faith Defender
Was formalised with suitable splendour
By means of an oath and anointing,
But the weather was very disappointing.
Could not be described as shabby.
But it may have been so for Charles the First,
When such occasions were poorly rehearsed.
Wore conventional apparel
But had a taste for the bizarre
Which made him a literary star.
If Albrecht Dürer
Had painted the Führer,
Would have emphasised the man's monstrosity.
Felt somewhat depressed
When the Hays Code's definition of 'obscene'
Outlawed her innuendo on screen.
Certainly delivered the goods.
Five times he won the Masters,
Though his life has had quite a few disasters.
Exercised West German power
With great economic success.
(And they won the '54 World Cup – but I digress.)
Was somewhat barmy,
But the British adore
A good sitcom about the Second World War.
Is one of those folks
Who can transform a game of cricket
With a spectacular knock or crucial wicket.
In last week's Test at Lord's,
England and Australia crossed swords.
Before England got beat,
Some MCC members cried "Cheat!"
Michael Vaughan said:
"That ball was not dead –
Jonny Bairstow was out.
What nonsense some commentators spout!"
The British right-wing press
Do not much love the NHS.
They also hate the BBC
For its Leftish politics and licence fee.
Donald Trump's wealth
And Joe Biden's mental health
Are criticized in some quarters
But never deter their core supporters.
Has become increasingly irate.
There is a Left/Right dichotomy,
And the same old arguments occur with monotony.
If Jesus lived in the USA,
He wouldn't be given the time of day
Unless he said "Work, save and be sunny",
And not "Give away all your money".
Was asked "In which country is Paris?"
She replied "I'm not daft!
It's...well, it's a...European thing", and laughed.
Told some university elder:
"I reject your cosmological conjectures.
Why don't you watch my YouTube lectures?"
Charles Edward Stuart, the Young Pretender,
Charmed supporters of the opposite gender
And stirred young men to join his force.
He was no Bonaparte, but looked good on a horse.
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