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#130846 09/15/04 02:48 AM
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I once owned a Mercury Montego, pumpkin yellow, which after a few years came to be called "Uriah", it was such a heap.


#130847 09/16/04 11:35 AM
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Three hundred pound King Faroukh
Exhausted his cordon bleu cook.
This kleptomaniacal royal
Kept pornography and an obligingly flexible goil.



#130848 10/06/04 11:00 PM
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old hand
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Elvis Presley
Must confess he
Raised quite a conflagration
With a little gyration.


Coffeebean #229694 09/25/19 04:41 AM
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Harry S. Truman
Denied that atom bombs were inhuman.
He said: "We must stop Japan's bravado –
This is no laughing matter like The Mikado".

Sir Francis Drake
Said: "Fighting the Armada's a piece of cake".
He vanquished the Duke of Medina Sidonia;
Some Spanish sailors probably died of pneumonia.

King Charles the Second
Is generally reckoned
To have signed official papers
While having indiscreet sexual capers.

The younger William Pitt
Was a highly precocious Brit.
Prime Minister at twenty-four,
He was driven to drink by the Napoleonic War.

Professor Stephen Hawking
Had an artificial way of talking.
But his knowledge about black holes
Greatly exceeded that of ordinary souls.

Friedrich Nietzsche's writing
Is pernicious, although exciting.
His style has more muscle
Than that of sane philosophers like Bertrand Russell.

Donald Trump
Is widely considered a chump.
In Europe he provokes much animus,
But many Americans are more magnanimous.

A C Bowden #229825 11/07/19 01:58 PM
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Some musical clerihews:

George Frederick Handel
Exclaimed: "It's an absolute scandal!"
When one of his orchestral suites
Was performed with irregular beats.

Robert Schumann
Found Liszt's flamboyance scarcely human.
He and Clara both opined
That Chopin's playing was more refined.

Girolamo Frescobaldi
Is not as famous as Vivaldi.
One of the likely reasons
Is his lack of a smash hit like The Four Seasons.

William Byrd
Was artistically stirred
By Catholic rituals, which he kept hidden,
For in England popery was strictly forbidden.

The French composer Maurice Ravel
Cried "Merde!" (which is stronger than "Hell!"),
"If you don't play this tune cantabile,
You'll ruin my opus mirabile!"

Benjamin Britten
Explained how his music was written.
The thing that inspired him most
Was the spirit of the wild Suffolk coast.

Christoph Willibald Gluck
Wrote several operas that are worth a look.
He made no apology
For his constant use of classical mythology.

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laugh


----please, draw me a sheep----
A C Bowden #229899 11/28/19 03:01 AM
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Gioachino Rossini
Was succeeded by Verdi, then Puccini.
Opera underwent a schism
When younger composers turned to realism.

The music of Sir Hubert Parry
Can be played in church when people marry.
In the hands of a skilled musician,
It lifts one's heart to an elevated position.

Muzio Clementi
Was in great demand around 1820
For recitals, compositions, and pianos that he made.
His easy sonatinas are still often played.

Carl Maria von Weber
Remarked to a neighbour:
"My operas are all the rage.
It's a pity they're so expensive to stage".

Frédéric Chopin asked George Sand
As he sat at the keyboard: "Vite ou lent?"
She answered: "As music's your profession,
I'll leave the speed to your discretion".

Moritz Moszkowski
Had nothing in common with Tchaikovsky
Except (as was then the fashion)
His music's frequent Romantic passion.

Mendelssohn's overture The Hebrides
Masterfully evokes Caledonian seas.
Could any native Scot
Have written it? I think not.

Erik Satie
Was endearingly batty.
Much that he wrote has a sense of fun,
But not his Gymnopédie No 1.

Hector Berlioz was very proud.
He said: "I want my orchestras big and loud.
For in this noisy steam-powered age,
Art should resound with joy, grief or rage!"

A C Bowden #230002 12/22/19 02:10 PM
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Richard Strauss
Asked his spouse:
"What do you think of Der Rosenkavalier?"
She said: "I don't know it, my dear".

The piano works of Liszt
Can put a strain on the wrist.
The best way to preserve your joints
Is to slow down at the difficult points.

Johannes Brahms
Told a man begging for alms:
"I'm not giving money to an idle hobo!
Why don't you learn to play the oboe?"

King Louis XIV of France
Summoned his nobles to a dance.
He said: "Those who ignore my wishes
Will be marched to the kitchen to wash the dishes".

Debussy's textures vary,
But they are often light and airy.
They can depict immensity
Without Germanic force and density.

Johann Pachelbel
Wrote many other works as well
As his Canon; it would be a blunder
To write him off as a one-hit wonder.

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...the assignment was to write a limerick containing "Toulouse":

Louis XIV and XVI of France
Tried their wives' private lives to enhance
When they ditched the two Lous
In two loos in Toulouse
To avoid being looked at askance

Last edited by wofahulicodoc; 01/05/20 08:57 PM. Reason: previously posted, 2/2/2019
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Originally Posted by wofahulicodoc
...the assignment was to write a limerick containing "Toulouse":

King Louis XVI of France
Observed his opponents' advance.
He rejected the ruse
Of a trip to Toulouse,
But his flight to Varennes had no chance.

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