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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,693 Likes: 2 |
“It’s not easy to laugh,” he said brightly, “So I practice it just about nightly. I bring my boat dockside, Breathe nitrogen oxide. Here, try some!” he offered politely.
AMBIENT - APERTURE
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6 |
One aperture may not suffice To empty a can in a trice. If the ambient air Keeps the liquid in there, The can must be pierced at least twice.
MERMAID - METHOD
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6 |
A mermaid can swim like a fish; Her tail makes a powerful swish. But her method of movement Is quite an improvement - Her arms can be flexed at her wish.
MARGRAVE - MARZIPAN
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
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A female Margrave (and Dutchess) Sought post-prandial sweets to eat, such as Some chocolate brandy Or marzipan candy. You're Danish? Stay out of her clutches!
POINTLESS - PORCELAIN
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6 |
That is to say, a Margravine... And here's one I did earlier today:A margrave declared to a lackey: I'll eat something novel and snacky". "This marzipan, Sire, Is what you require", Said the cook; "it's exotic and wacky".
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,693 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,693 Likes: 2 |
Quite similar in spirit, aren't they.
A (very) brief peek via Google reveals that the post of Margrave was generally restricted to males. Ah well - chalk it up to Authors' License.
And I didn't realize until after posting that the rhyme was inspired by G&S - "...In short, if you'd kindle/The spark of a swindle..." from Gondoliers.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 6 |
POINTLESS - PORCELAIN
A well-known antiques connoisseur Remarked with an expert's hauteur: "Your porcelain bowl Has this pointless small hole - A quirk that was once de rigueur".
DRAINED - DRIFTED
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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A few hundred yards still remained, And both sets of oarsmen felt drained. They drifted so wide They were disqualified. "Void race!" cried the ref, looking pained.
EDIFY - EFFUSIVE
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
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If you're eager to edify sinners Or people who beg for hot dinners, Be warm and effusive - Say "Joy is elusive, But Jesus loves losers, not winners".
ROGUISH - ROOF
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,693 Likes: 2 |
If you wish in this world to advance Your merits you're bound to enhance You must stir it and stump it And blow your own trumpet Or trust me you haven't a chance!
(--You-know-who)
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