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#209436 - 02/06/13 03:37 PM Funeral Notice  
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
LukeJavan8 Offline
Carpal Tunnel
LukeJavan8  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
Land of the Flat Water

Funeral Notice
===============

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following
news:

The Pillsbury Doughboy dies yesterday of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered
the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never
knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times he
was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for
millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John
Dough and Jane Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is
also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.


----please, draw me a sheep----
#209439 - 02/06/13 10:36 PM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: LukeJavan8]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956
olly Offline
old hand
olly  Offline
old hand

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956
Auckland, New Zealand
He's toast.

#209440 - 02/06/13 11:25 PM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: LukeJavan8]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 958
Tromboniator Offline
old hand
Tromboniator  Offline
old hand

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 958
Alaska
Buried in his loafers, no doubt. Popular, though frequently panned.

#209442 - 02/07/13 01:48 AM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: LukeJavan8]  
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Buffalo Shrdlu Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Buffalo Shrdlu  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Vermont
I heard he had a Do Nut resuscitate order.


formerly known as etaoin...
#209443 - 02/07/13 03:39 AM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: Buffalo Shrdlu]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554
jenny jenny Offline
veteran
jenny jenny  Offline
veteran

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554
Lower Aberdeen, Mississippi
Poor Doughboy, he can't win. If in Heaven he will only be half-baked, and if in Hell he will likely be overdone.

#209448 - 02/07/13 04:23 PM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: jenny jenny]  
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
LukeJavan8 Offline
Carpal Tunnel
LukeJavan8  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
Land of the Flat Water
Hey!
All your replies are really terrific. I needed a good laugh.


----please, draw me a sheep----
#209480 - 02/09/13 08:23 PM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: LukeJavan8]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
Rhubarb Commando Offline
old hand
Rhubarb Commando  Offline
old hand

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
Lancaster, UK
Although Doughboy was not quite so well known in Europe, a memorial service was held in Madeira to commemorate his colourful life. It was attended by a number of fans, including Mr Kipling, Mother Pride and ( it is rumoured) the Bakewell Tart! – although the lady concerned may just have been a piece of local cheesecake just there to sponge of the fans at the meal that followed.
The officiating cleric gave an eulogy based on Leviticus 24:5 which went down very well. He also mention that Doughboy’s schemes had frequently been “knocked down” and declared to be bloomers, but he had often been proved and had risen nicely afterwards.
The food at the wake was rather disappointing, as the steak was a bit hard to choux.


I'm immortal until proven otherwise
#209484 - 02/10/13 01:02 AM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: Rhubarb Commando]  
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
LukeJavan8 Offline
Carpal Tunnel
LukeJavan8  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
Land of the Flat Water
Lovely, simply, Rhuby.


ten cakes, or whatever, two ephahs apiece.

Last edited by LukeJavan8; 02/10/13 01:07 AM.

----please, draw me a sheep----
#209485 - 02/10/13 01:05 AM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: LukeJavan8]  
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
LukeJavan8 Offline
Carpal Tunnel
LukeJavan8  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,961
Land of the Flat Water
Reminds me of another years ago when Alka Seltzer stopped
using its icon "Speedy".(although he is back again, I see)

NOTICE:
Speedy Alka Seltzer has committed suicide. Unfortunately his
body could not be found; He simply jumped into a glass of
water and immediately effervesced. He did, however, leave
behind a suicide note, which read "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz,
Oh what a relief it is".


----please, draw me a sheep----
#210846 - 05/09/13 05:54 AM Re: Funeral Notice [Re: LukeJavan8]  
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 6
Keira Offline
stranger
Keira  Offline
stranger

Joined: May 2013
Posts: 6
He also discuss that Doughboy’s techniques had regularly been “knocked down” and announced to be bloomers, but he had often been shown and had increased perfectly afterwards.

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