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#203773 - 12/10/11 05:10 PM Some new, some old  
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Jackie Offline
Jackie  Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Louisville, Kentucky
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.


I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.


No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'


The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.


The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


A backward poet writes inverse.


In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.


When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine.


A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger..'


Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.


Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'


Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.


There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh . . . no pun in ten did.

#203777 - 12/11/11 12:07 PM Re: Some new, some old [Re: Jackie]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 958
Tromboniator Offline
old hand
Tromboniator  Offline
old hand

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 958
Alaska
How do I feel about ridiculous puns posted to a serious language discussion site? Forum.

#203779 - 12/11/11 12:27 PM Re: Some new, some old [Re: Tromboniator]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Faldage Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Faldage  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Originally Posted By: Tromboniator
How do I feel about ridiculous puns posted to a serious language discussion site? Forum.


Have you ever seen this happen?

#203785 - 12/11/11 07:39 PM Re: Some new, some old [Re: Faldage]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 958
Tromboniator Offline
old hand
Tromboniator  Offline
old hand

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 958
Alaska
Purely hypothetical!

#203788 - 12/11/11 10:26 PM Re: Some new, some old [Re: Jackie]  
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Buffalo Shrdlu Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Buffalo Shrdlu  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Vermont
heh


formerly known as etaoin...
#203794 - 12/12/11 04:03 AM Re: Some new, some old [Re: Tromboniator]  
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Jackie Offline
Jackie  Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Louisville, Kentucky
That was great, Peter! [finger in air e]: one point to you.


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