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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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OP
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,773 |
CONTRADICTIONARY
Janus words galore
Contributions welcomed; credit will be accorded
101 Freeway in L.A. – This freeway is labeled North & South where in fact it spans East to West–Lee Scott L. Hileman/ It should be noted that for the most part, 101 does run N-S. However, its use locally is more for E-W commuter traffic
ad-lib written jokes – Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn
ahead of schedule = behind schedule - George Bush, of Iraq war
altar boys – In many Catholic parishes, majority of “altar boys” are girls–Victorville CA Daily Press
animated reality show
antidepressant – Doctors who prescribe some popular ~s should monitor their patients closely for warning signs of suicide…–AP
awful – At the same time, means terrible and inspiring awe–Dee, rpt by Stuart Kellogg, Victorville CA Daily Press
better good – Benefit, but not necessarily improvement over something good: ...being jabbed with a needle...a needed pain because it brings about a ~ –srv2.purenrg Naked Writing : The beatings will continue...
blowout – At the same time, means lopsided victory and massive defeat
bubbler – Bubblers actually spray
circular firing squad – Dan Walters, re California Republican Party
class size reduction – A new bill...would allow school districts to have more students in their ~ programs–Victorville CA Daily Press
cleave – Harold of Apple Valley contributes the homographs “cleave” (to adhere) and “cleave” (to split)...–Stuart Kellogg
cold-blooded = warm blooded
colder than hell
colorblind government – A new federal law tacks student achievement in English and math and sorts it by race. “We would still be collecting data, but we’d be prohibited from using it,” Oconnell said–AP
compassionate conservative
cross-training shoes An athletic shoe carefully optimized by its manufacturer to be useful for no athletic activity whatsoever. Usual optimizations guarantee the cross-trainer is too heavy for a fast track performance, while providing insufficient support for basketball–sneakers.pair.com Charlie's Sneaker FAQ and Glossary...
crump – Crunch, explode; bomb. Also slang for splendid, excellent and fail, die
decimate – 1 Reduce by only one-tenth 2 Devastate almost completely
Deltrola 1932 cathedral AM/FM radio with lighted dial – Side-loading cassette player – K-Mart
destroy the village in order to save it – Military
Disposable Income – Alison Wright
dog – At same time means to go after with tenacity and to slack off
Don’t brush on – Instructions for paint remover supplied with brush
effloresce – 1 Bloom, as in the springtime 2 dry out til becoming a powder
enjoy – At the same time means to Endure for a BETTER GOOD; suffer
factoid – 1 Spurious or questionable spin 2 Short news item, nominally true
fat chance = slim chance
flexitarian – Vegetarian who eats meat
freedom to obey the Church
friendly fire
get it on = get it off
get-well cards – A drug store that sells ~ cards–B.C.
government organization – Alison Wright
hose thread/pipe thread – The entire home-watering industry is so hopelessly confused between these similar 3/4” threads that you cannot depend on taking home the parts you need unless you can tell the difference yourself
I can resist anything but temptation – Oscar Wilde
I could care less = I couldn’t care less
in = out: BUST IN =BUST OUT; FILL IN = FILL OUT–Alison Wright
indoor wind chimes
inflammable = flammable
In-Store SIDEWALK SALE! – Oreck newspaper ad
irregardless = regardless
jobless recovery
jobless prosperity
jumbo shrimp – Alison Wright
kinder, gentler military
land reclamation project – Garbage dump
let – Means both to allow and hinder
maple pecan crunch
Microsoft Works – Alison Wright
military campaign is designed to make the world more peaceful, the – The News With Brian Williams, CNBC
military intelligence
movie: Fellowship of the Ring / Lord of the Ring –Well?
next Friday = Friday after next Pursuing this anomaly, the latter could mean two Fridays hence and so on ad infinitum. Carrying this incongruity to its logical confusion, Friday after last could mean two Fridays ago; and therefore Christ was born last Friday.
odor-free garlic tablets
one size fits all
...orange juice made entirely from oranges – Tropicana commercial
paid-sick-day request
peruse – At the same time means read diligently and casually or leisurely–Doug, rpt by Stuart Kellogg, Victorville CA Daily Press
pikeminnow – ...the~...is North America’s largest minnow, grows to 6 feet in length...–AP
Rapid Transit
rubber stimulator – Literally, part of a toothbrush
safety corridor – Dangerous roadway: ~s are stretches of state and local highways with incidence of fatal or injury traffic crashes higher than statewide average...–www.odot.state.or.us What is a ~
sanguine – Means both cheerful and violently bloody–Stuart Kellogg
seeded – Means either with seeds or without. Sellers label grapes having seeds as “~”, hoping the customer will interpret this as seedless
semi-permanent
shalom – ...Gene of Victorville cites “~” (hello, goodbye, peace)–Stuart Kellogg
shut down – 1= SHUT UP 2 In Windows 98, Shut Down is first choice under Start
single-occupant carpool lane sticker – DMV
solar pool cover – Warnings in mfr’s warranty: Degraded by sunlight; weakened by water temperature over 90 degrees F; dissolved by chlorine. Thus destroyed by sunny weather, sufficient chlorine to keep pool clean, and water temperature suitable for swimming
solar-powered flashlight
steep learning curve – The phrase "~" is sometimes used incorrectly to mean "hard to learn" whereas of course it implies rapid learning
steer a hot-air balloon – Laverne Hileman
Strier, William – Shoots manager of his trust fund, who late comments, “Psychologically it doesn’t really have any impact”
sugar pill – Effects attributed to ~: abdominal pain, back pain, blood clot, cold, diarrhea, dizziness, dry mouth, ear and upper respiratory infection, headache, heart attack, mood swings, nausea, nosebleed, persistent thirst, sleeping difficulty, sore throat, stroke
super glue – When first appeared on the market instantly bonded almost anything to anything else. Evidently out of fear of lawsuits, however, its makers altered the formula, rendering it safer to use. Then, however it didn’t stick as quickly nor as well; it was no longer superI
table – Means both to present a resolution for discussion or to delay or kill it
talking telescope
tear at notch – Our sources advise us this is impossible; except in the sense where tear at means to attempt but fail; in which case, of course, the medication is intended principally to exercise the fingers
This Page Intentionally Left Blank – Alison Wright
Toledo – President of Peru
To spend money is to save it; risk is security; to ensure peace, wage war – Doonesbury, re Bush foreign policy
tubing size: 1/2 (5/8) – Believe it or not, there is one size of drip-system distribution tubing that is labeled 1/2” but which actually measures 5/8”. Over the years the manufacturer evidently had produced millions upon millions of feet of it before he realized his mistake. The tubing is still labeled 1/2, but the compression coupling intended to join two lengths of this tubing comes in a package that identifies its size as 1/2 (5/8). No kidding. This coupler is therefore confused with an adapter that actually couples 1/2” tubing to 5/8”.
The mfr may argue that 1/2” is its actual size when forced into a compression fitting. But then what is its size if instead a barbed coupler is shoved into it?
See HOSE THREAD
universal O-ring See ONE SIZE FITS ALL
U..S. military operations – Carolina Moon; Just Cause; Productive Effort, Enduring Freedom
warm-blooded = cold-blooded
wicker bedpan – Drew Carey, What’s my line anyway? =screen door on a submarine
worm = deworm
dalehileman
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 3
stranger
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stranger
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 3 |
Cat Door for the fridge ( a New Statesman useless invention competition)
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 557
addict
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addict
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 557 |
Post too long, too tired to argue. "What's My Line?" and "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" are two unrelated shows.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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OP
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,773 |
Myr's point is well taken. Any contributor finding a post too long is herewith cordially advised that it is unnecessary to read
dalehileman
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2
stranger
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stranger
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2 |
Check out the pseudo antonyms topic. Add some of your own; I'm sure there must be several.
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