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What should I say : "Ít's been nice talking to you" or "it's been nice talking with you?" I mostly hear people say "talking to you", but when I use that form I always have the feeling that it was is a one way conversation, as if the other person did not get a chance to respond. We do not say "talking to you" unless we mean: Hey! I'm talking to you! or Hey! I'm talking to you! We generally say: talking with you. In English I know I should probably say "nice talking to you ", or "it was nice talking to her". But I read a little on that Global language thread, where it would fit in the frame of subtilities getting lost. Using to goes against my feelings. Hope the little problem is clear, hope there is a clear answer to it.
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Either one, though in idiomatic English there is the expression, "I gave him a real talking to." That means more or less a dressing down. But in normal conversation I'd use either one, though I suspect I tend towards talking with.
TEd
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I'm with TEd, here. If there is a difference it is the idea that "talking to" is one way but "talking with" is more reciprocal. I like to think I make the distinction but I'm not sure if I do. As for the patronizing connotation of "talking to" I think that would depend on tone of voice, not much of a help if you're communicating with the written word.
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Well, talking for the civilized portion of English speaking world, we here in the South had trouble with "talking to". We kept getting it mixed up with "talking too" as in "much", which is understandable.
Being a most considerate subset of English speakers we solved the problem by using the idiom "talking at". In example...
Jerrie Lou was talking at Sammy.
See, now it becomes crystal clear to whom Jerry Lou was talking.
If we had used the phrase "Jerrie Lou was talking with Sammy" we would have known that Jerrie Lou, while she was with Sammy, was talking; but properly speaking, we would not have known to whom she spoke.
English is a right fine language; it just takes a little adjusting to make it work.
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Uh? Let me see, I understand what Faldage and Ted are saying but TM , do you mean f.i. that there might be a third person present that Jerry Lou was talking to while Sammy was silent?? I do not totally get this. This begins to look like mathematics. Do you here see Lou with Sammy as Lou and Sammy? This started out as looking easy enough, but I seem to be on a side road here.
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And themilum's side road is not only a detour, it's a dead end.
TEd
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themilum likes to mess with people, Branshea, and while his antics can be amusing to us US native English speakers, they can be very confusing to those who live outside his limited linguistic sphere... I grew up very near where he lives and while in that region the expression "talking at" exists more or less as he describes it, as a non-native speaker you don't need to deal with that. Go with what the serious responders to your question said.
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Thank God I bought a return ticket. Ts'all clear.
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Jerrie Lou was talking at Sammy.
See, now it becomes crystal clear to whom Jerry Lou was talking.
No, artfully, it becomes crystal clear *at whom Jerry Lou was talking and even less clear whether or not Sammy was listening.
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Not you too, Musick? Yes! Yes! Yes! I was wrong. Ok, ok, if Jerrie Lou was talking "at" Sammy then she couldn't be talking "to" Sammy because in that event, he wouldn't listen. Geez! Do you want my blood?
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