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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
There is a young man named René
With an unconventional way
Of washing his crotch
With twelve-year-old scotch
That sprays from his porcelain bidet
And sometimes just for the laugh of it
He washes instead with aquavit
Or, when duty calls,
He has bourbon balls
Really, you don't know the half of it
Last edited by Alex Williams; 04/03/06 01:19 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
And now, there's new meaning to "wine spritzer".
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
Spritzer? I hardly know her!
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
One daughter asked me to write some haiku a few years ago. (The teacher wanted stuff from kids and their parents.) I suggested the following:
My butt is quite sore.
Sandpaper toilet paper
doesn't help at all.
My daughter was not amused and glaringly refused to submit my contribution, accepting instead the much inferior:
Though fear and terror
girdle the bright, red planet,
wonder rides its wake.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
Reminds me of the story of the Hopi who drove his pickem truck down to the res store, parked in a cloud of dust, and told the proprietor that he needed some toilet paper. The storekeeper placed two rolls of TP on the counter, one a brand name and the other a generic.
The Hopi asked what the difference was, and was told that there wasn't any appreciable difference other than no brand name and a smaller price for the generic because there was no advertising overhead. The Indian bought the generic and departed, only to return two or three days later.
"Gus, you need to call that stuff John Wayne toilet paper," said the Indian.
"Why?" asked Gus.
"Because it's rough and it's tough and it don't take s--t offa no Indians."
TEd
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,773 |
dkr: Most definitely yes Though you won't find much support for it in the usu Internet dicttionaries, I have herd "to water" meaning exactly what you intend, as in: Romeo and Juliet, the Beginning - 9:04amWatered him at the bar or shall I steal some food from the children for him?" William ran up to her and grabbed her hand, and with a flourish, kissed It. ... www.austen.com/ani/stories/carmel3.htm
Last edited by dalehileman; 04/04/06 10:47 PM.
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