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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
All right--for some time now there have been complaints about a supposed controlling clique here; and now a statement has been voiced that people here are "disrespectful and bullying" to newcomers. I feel that I am too close to the situation to be able to judge accurately, so I thought I would propose an OPEN VOTE , with two conditions*: I invite anyone who cares to, to post here whether their experience has been as described above, or different. In other words, do you agree or disagree?
*The first condition actually has two parts (sorry): 1.) I would ask that you keep in mind that the members here are individuals, so--if you have had negative experiences, please try to note whether they came from one or two people, or a whole bunch (i.e., please don't let one bad apple spoil the whole barrel for you); and 2.) here, as in life in general, you tend to receive what you give; therefore, if you feel that you were respectful and considerate (though perhaps a bit ignorant) but still were treated badly, I would consider that to be much worse than someone who has been disrespectful complaining about receiving disrespect.
The second "condition" I would like to propose is that, if the complaints are shown to be in a clear minority, that future public complaints about past ill treatment cease.
I have no idea what, if anything, will come of this. Perhaps no one will post. That will be all right--at least I will have tried. I won't mind getting PM's, but I would really prefer not to be asked to post someone else's vote for them; I would rather keep the "slate" as credible as possible. My hoped-for outcome is that feelings will become unruffled and that the number of complaints/allusions will drop.
Today is November 4th. I'd like to give this thread either until the end of the month or until I notice that no first-time-in-this-thread people have posted in a week. This should allow enough time for those who don't look in too regularly to see this. Thanks, everybody.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 389
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 389 |
I’ve been around here, on and off for about 2 yrs. I have never felt slighted or unwelcome. I may have been some silly and even ignorant on occasion, but even then, I was no more than gently and humorously pointed in a better direction, (inhale). I love the wisdom and warmth of this place.
A dear friend of mine sketched a picture entitled “Don’t hide your light under a bushel” and was about to throw it in the trash when I asked for it. It has hung, lovingly framed, in my music room for over 30 yrs. and is admired by all who notice it.
“Modesty is a shining light; it prepares the mind to receive knowledge, and the heart for truth.” Madam Guizot. Peace, be well, O’bow
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
It was November 2000 when I first posted. In those four years I have asked questions, made comments, been teased and always informed. The patience people have shown this 75-year-old is greatly appreciated. When I was nominated as the Board's High Priestess (by AnnAS ?) and confirmed by The Great Anu with a lifetime appointment it was a great day! At present I am exchanging Private Messages with one newcomer who wants input to improve his English - and we have had delightful exchanges. (He is doing so well he will soon outstrip his mentor!)
This is not to say there hasn't been the occasional misunderstanding - but they have been quickly resolved because of the good nature of the contributors and the willingness to accept that printed words without benefit of spoken tonality are sometimes not "heard" as intended.
The AWAD Board is a place I come to warm my heart.
Blessings on you all.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,475
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,475 |
Well, I've been here less than a year, having come aboard on Epiphany of this year. I was directed to the board because folks were discussing an entry I made on my blog regarding the wordhood of epicaricacy. Jackie thought I might be dissing tsuwm, and AnnaS wondered if my mother language was German or English, but within a post or two I was welcomed aboard, given a nickname, and started posting about words and language. There are people on the board whom I get along with and those with whom I don't, and a largish amount of folks whom I don't even know that well, but I recognize their names. In this way AWADtalk seems like a normal cross section of the offline world. As for a cabal of carpal tunnels machinating behind the scenes to repress people, I'm sorry, but I just don't see it.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
Yes and no. I think that when new people come here, they see a group of people who already know each other and seem to be at ease with each other. They may even have met with each other and perhaps share some small bond which might affect their postings in some unintentional way and which is detected by newcomers.
Does this constitute a clique? I'm not sure. But this is the way it works - not just here, but everywhere - on the net or off. Newcomers will always be at a disadvantage. The standing 'clique' can try to make them feel welcome. But everyone has to make some effort to socialize, if they want to develop successful relationships here. And everyone has to make some effort to not take offense - or give it.
One other thing - I know it's a cliche, but it's true. Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes people can seem to be getting along and then BANG - there's turmoil for reasons that you don't understand. Something that helps me is just asking myself this question, "How would my image of an adult behave in this circumstance?"
k
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
under the conditions stated, and also since I seem to be one of the accused as one of the "pack", it would appear that I have been disenfranchised. but I will say this: if it posts like a troll and responds like a troll, it's probably a troll. http://lotsofkids.com/LOK-Features/Articles/troll.htm
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 176
member
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member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 176 |
As a relative newcomer, I can write that I have neither observed, nor felt any pressure or bullying from any group of members on this board. Neither have I observed anything resembling a clique here. Yes, there are many long-time members, but I have not observed them acting like a clique.
When I first joined, several of the confirmed members of the board (no pun intended), “Carpal Tunnels”, along with other long-time members of the board, sent me kind words of welcome and encouragement, both in posts and in personal messages (PMs). Since then 99.9% of the members responding to my posts and PMs have treated me, my posts, and PMs with kind civility, at the low end of the spectrum, and affectionate appreciation, at the high end of the spectrum.
As I have mentioned to other members in PMs, I have wondered about a few responses to my posts, which seemed to me to be purely argumentative (in the pejorative sense) in nature, and specifically designed to annoy me with the hope of getting a negative reaction from me. I can only write, “seemed to me” however, because I don’t truly know the mind of the person who posted the reply, and it may only be their personality. I can’t really say for sure because I have not had enough interaction with the person to form a firm opinion. Nevertheless, the few replies from this person constitute the remaining 0.1%.
The only shadow in the picture (if I may borrow a line from Isak Dinesen) I’ve seen is the irritation caused by the person who, as I’ve read in some posts, seems to post using many different personae and names. One of this person’s personae (at least) apparently seems intent on behaving in such a disagreeable way as to incur the rancor of many of the members. Perhaps this is the same person I mentioned above; I don’t know. Perhaps this person with the Multiple Persona Disorder is the same person claiming there to be a bullying clique here as well. Unfortunately, I am still trying to match this person to his many personae, so I can’t really speak (write) to this point much more than I already have.
To conclude: my overall experience here has been quite enjoyable and stimulating, and I am happy to have found such a board.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
I've been here for just over three years--my word, has it been that long??!! When life in the real world presses me and I don't have time to check in here, I miss the board. Technically, I'm a carpel, but that's just because I type fast, think fast, make lots of mistakes because I don't edit, and sometimes have to pay for not having done so.
But this is the place to discuss the language. I have a link posted on my educational web page, and I encourage my students to come here if they have questions about language.
I think AWAD is fun and that newcomers are welcome. It's gratifying that some people decide that what we discuss is worth sticking with. Most leave. But I don't think they leave because they've been bullied, but because they're not interested in the topics and don't have topics that they think would be discussed. However, most topics I've read have been discussed to some degree. Admission: I do not read every thread because some threads don't hold any interest for me. But if others enjoy those threads, terrific.
The only problem I see here is when sweeping, categorical statements and criticisms are cast by people who somehow believe that the regular posters are against those who make appearances. Perhaps some people need to have a fight to fight even when among people who simply enjoy writing about the language. I see absolutely no need to join in a fight that shouldn't have begun in the first place. If people want to argue, cast stones at groups of people, accuse groups of people of bullying others, such people should find a board in which accusations are enjoyed and desired. I believe that this is largely of group of peaceable people with very much to offer in terms of time, research, sincerity, and conviviality. Do we have our bad days? Yeah, sure. Who doesn't. But the bad moods aren't the regular feature--they're just the reflection of the fact that we are real human beings behind the words, and, as real human beings, we're going to have those days we're in lousy moods. Or overly sensitive ones. But those moods are short-lived.
Words. Language. Puzzles. Jokes. Questions. Answers. Possibilities, if not answers. Shared information. Generosity.
Those of some of the elements of AWAD that draw repeat visitors to this place. And I'm thankful that those elements have remained fairly constant in the three years I've been here.
Peace to all,
WW
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,154
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,154 |
I look forward to checking in, especially after a rough day. I was made welcome when I arrived and have not felt otherwise since, I have even made friends with some people I have never and may never get to meet in person which is a new and fun experience for me. Yes I have been corrected but that is one of the reasons that I come here. (That, interesting posts, interesting people and TEd's puns)
A clique managing to control this group - not possible let alone probable.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,788
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,788 |
Dear Chums ~
I have been a member of this board for fifty months. In that stretch of four years, I have posted enough messages to stand on the cusp of "promotion" from Old Hand to Veteran (in two more posts, but who's counting?).
One of the reasons that there are not more posts with my name on them is that I don't read all of the threads -- there is not enough time in my bivocational life, especially with a bride who insists (for some odd reason) that I pay as much attention to her as I do to my computer. Another is that, on two major occasions, I have backed away from the board for a period of time in angst.
As a priest and a judge, I deal with upset people all of the time and have, I think, grown a thick enough hide that, when people project their distress onto me, there is little internal damage. But, frankly, I don't need more of the same when engaged in an "off-duty" pursuit which ought be relaxing and enjoyable. Thus, on those occasions when I have felt the brunt of someone's hostility on these pages, I have wondered "Who needs this excrement?" and withdrawn.
Thanks to Jackie for nudging me gently back into the fold on these occasions.
The learning from all of this is contained in the maxim: "Don't feed the trolls." Now, when someone is rude or appears to bait a trap, I adopt a policy of masterful inactivity and don't respond.
As to my own sins, they are too many to catalogue. As a lawyer and a judge, I tend to see things in jurisprudential ways, which is doubtless annoying to non-lawyers. As an unashamed Anglophile, I know that I have annoyed others by my persistent use of terms like "The Mother County" and "The Colonies." As a Christian, I clutter these pages with references to Holy Scripture and to the traditions of the Church ... but what would you expect from a clergyperson? As a somewhat whimsical and perhaps deranged person, I find it hard to stay on topic and have been responsible for leading many threads astray ... even to the point of discussing matters culinary, to the great distress of Jackie.
One would hope that those who are occasionally (or perennially) annoyed by my many faults would do as I do when I feel attacked or snubbed or baited by a responsive posting: ignore me.
And there is no cabal ... save in the minds of those who apparently need an enemy onto which to project their own anxieties. Any cabal worthy of the name would have encouraged me to exit permanently on those several occasions when I have been silent for a term.
Affectionately ~
Father Steve
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