#10449 - 11/22/00 08:53 PM
Re: this just in from the UK!
Joined: Nov 2000
Joined: Nov 2000
I just received a copy of this reply to the revocation from a Brit:
> Response to: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> To the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern
> We welcome your concern about our electoral process.
> It must be
> exciting for
> you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a
> distance. As
> always we're
> amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a
> world power. The
> sun never
> sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
> However, we regretfully have to decline your offer
> for intervention. On
> other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to
> enforce your new
> policy (for
> the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that
> you have little to no
> power). After much deliberation, we have decided to
> continue our
> tradition as
> the longest running democratic republic. It seems
> that switching to a
> is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the
> majority of the world.
> To help you rise from your current anachronistic
> status, we have
> compiled a
> series of helpful suggestions that we hope you
> 1. Realise that language is an organic structure,
> and that you aren't
> correct in your pronunciation or spelling.
> Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey
> Davy (an Englishman)
> the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal.
> However, in common
> the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the
> naming convention of
> elements. In 1925 the United States decided to
> switch back to the
> spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which
> point we dominated the
> aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that
> the process of
> producing aluminum was developed by an American and
> a Frenchman (not an
> However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford
> English Dictionary. It's
> interesting collection, considering that over 10,000
> of the words in the
> original edition were submitted by a crazy American
> civil-war veteran
> Dr. William Charles Minor.
> 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian
> accents, and then
> we'll talk
> about the English and Australian accent issue.
> 3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85
> = 1.15 and 100 -
> 97.85 =
> 4. If you want English actors as good guys, then
> make your own movies.
> rely on us for your modern popular culture. We
> liked "Lock, Stock, and
> Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full
> Monty". We've also
> heard good
> things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good
> movie a year doesn't
> make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing
> pretty well with
> music, so
> keep up the good work on that front.
> 5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that
> changes its title
> your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your
> national anthem has an
> boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule
> Brittania ditty, it's
> toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle
> In The Wind" again
> for you
> 6. Improve at your national sport. Football?
> Soccer? This just in:
> States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000
> Summer Olympics.
> Kingdom? Not even close.
> By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You
> almost managed to get
> the tournament without having your fans start an
> international incident.
> 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch
> candy. Salt 'n'
> chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason
> why the best food in
> country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to
> the culinary arts
> soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps
> when you finally
> realize the
> French aren't the spawn of satan they'll teach you
> how to cook.
> 8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding
> cars. The obvious error
> that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A
> second problem is
> it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to
> England than to buy
> a car
> in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and
> Aston Martins.
> That's why
> we bought the companies.
> 9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize
> for "Teletubbies".
> Thank you for your time. You can now return to
> watching bad Australian
> P.S. Regarding WW2: You're Welcome.
#10454 - 11/27/00 10:04 PM
Re: The Final Word?
Joined: Jul 2000
Joined: Jul 2000
Cincinnati & Loveland, Ohio, U...
Dick Cheney will control the Senate
First, off this exact topic: if G.W. is a second rate governor, then why did he get re-elected in '98 with about 70% of the vote, with much of that coming from minorities?
Now, on control of the Senate. Yes, he will preside, but he most likely won't hold much clout in decision making, even if there are ties. According to Time magazine there are centrist coalitions on both sides that will have the biggest voice in what goes on. From both parties, the centrists make up about 60% of the Senate. Frankly, I think it'd be nice if they formed a new party, but chances of that are probably slim. And according to iWon.com, John McCain has become the most well known Senator and will have much to do in swaying the centrist voters in the Senate. So maybe, as much of us would have preferred, McCain will be the real ruler in Washington.
Dec 9th, 2011
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