Wordsmith.org: the magic of words

Wordsmith Talk

About Us | What's New | Search | Site Map | Contact Us  

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
#10448 - 11/22/00 03:26 PM Re: This just in from Serbia  
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
belMarduk Offline
Carpal Tunnel
belMarduk  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
The Onion is a tongue-in-cheek news webzine. If you are interested, here is some news they have on the U.S. elections...


#10449 - 11/22/00 08:53 PM Re: this just in from the UK!  
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
Geoff Offline
old hand
Geoff  Offline
old hand

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
Portland,Oregon, USA
I just received a copy of this reply to the revocation from a Brit:

> To the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern
> Ireland,
> We welcome your concern about our electoral process.
> It must be
> exciting for
> you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a
> distance. As
> always we're
> amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a
> world power. The
> sun never
> sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
> However, we regretfully have to decline your offer
> for intervention. On
> the
> other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to
> enforce your new
> policy (for
> the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that
> you have little to no
> real
> power). After much deliberation, we have decided to
> continue our
> tradition as
> the longest running democratic republic. It seems
> that switching to a
> monarchy
> is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the
> majority of the world.
> To help you rise from your current anachronistic
> status, we have
> compiled a
> series of helpful suggestions that we hope you
> adopt:
> 1. Realise that language is an organic structure,
> and that you aren't
> always
> correct in your pronunciation or spelling.
> Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey
> Davy (an Englishman)
> invented
> the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal.
> However, in common
> usage
> the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the
> naming convention of
> other
> elements. In 1925 the United States decided to
> switch back to the
> _original_
> spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which
> point we dominated the
> aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that
> the process of
> actually
> producing aluminum was developed by an American and
> a Frenchman (not an
> Englishman).
> However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford
> English Dictionary. It's
> an
> interesting collection, considering that over 10,000
> of the words in the
> original edition were submitted by a crazy American
> civil-war veteran
> called
> Dr. William Charles Minor.
> 2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian
> accents, and then
> we'll talk
> about the English and Australian accent issue.
> 3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85
> = 1.15 and 100 -
> 97.85 =
> 2.15)
> 4. If you want English actors as good guys, then
> make your own movies.
> Don't
> rely on us for your modern popular culture. We
> liked "Lock, Stock, and
> Two
> Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full
> Monty". We've also
> heard good
> things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good
> movie a year doesn't
> exactly
> make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing
> pretty well with
> music, so
> keep up the good work on that front.
> 5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that
> changes its title
> whenever
> your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your
> national anthem has an
> extremely
> boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule
> Brittania ditty, it's
> toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle
> In The Wind" again
> for you
> guys.
> 6. Improve at your national sport. Football?
> Soccer? This just in:
> United
> States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000
> Summer Olympics.
> United
> Kingdom? Not even close.
> By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You
> almost managed to get
> through
> the tournament without having your fans start an
> international incident.
> 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch
> candy. Salt 'n'
> Vinegar
> chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason
> why the best food in
> your
> country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to
> the culinary arts
> are
> soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps
> when you finally
> realize the
> French aren't the spawn of satan they'll teach you
> how to cook.
> 8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding
> cars. The obvious error
> is
> that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A
> second problem is
> pricing,
> it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to
> England than to buy
> a car
> in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and
> Aston Martins.
> That's why
> we bought the companies.
> 9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize
> for "Teletubbies".
> Thank you for your time. You can now return to
> watching bad Australian
> soap
> operas.
> P.S. Regarding WW2: You're Welcome.

#10450 - 11/22/00 11:54 PM The Final Word?  
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Capital Kiwi Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Capital Kiwi  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Northamptonshire, England
In today's news, Japan sent the USA 50,000,000 cases of Viagra, having heard that the entire country can't get an election.

The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#10451 - 11/24/00 03:05 AM Re: The Final Word?  
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
belMarduk Offline
Carpal Tunnel
belMarduk  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Sorry, sorry, sorry, embarrassement all around. I must admit I laughed out loud at that one CapK.

#10452 - 11/27/00 07:30 PM Re: The Final Word?  
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
TEd Remington Offline
Carpal Tunnel
TEd Remington  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Marion NC
>having heard that the entire country can't get an election.

Something which, unfortunately, did not affect the current occupant of the Bully Pulpit. Bush would have finished his political career as a second-rate governor of a second-rate state if Clinton hadn't been so priapic.

Assuming that the courts do nothing to change the outcome of our recent election, it is interesting that Dubya will only be the second-most-powerful person in the free world. Dick Cheney will control the Senate, which is currently looking to be deadlocked at 50 Republicans and 50 Senators. The VP will cast the deciding vote for all committee chair appointments, committee assignments, etc., etc. Assuming of course that Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms are able to keep their hearts beating (though there are those who believe their brains stopped working many years ago.)

We live in interesting times.

#10453 - 11/27/00 07:53 PM Re: this just in from the UK!  
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
Bobyoungbalt Offline
Bobyoungbalt  Offline

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
Re point 8 of your list: Maybe we could combine it with Nov. 5, which also commemorates a notable political action failure.

#10454 - 11/27/00 10:04 PM Re: The Final Word?  
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
Jazzoctopus Offline
old hand
Jazzoctopus  Offline
old hand

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
Cincinnati & Loveland, Ohio, U...
Dick Cheney will control the Senate

First, off this exact topic: if G.W. is a second rate governor, then why did he get re-elected in '98 with about 70% of the vote, with much of that coming from minorities?

Now, on control of the Senate. Yes, he will preside, but he most likely won't hold much clout in decision making, even if there are ties. According to Time magazine there are centrist coalitions on both sides that will have the biggest voice in what goes on. From both parties, the centrists make up about 60% of the Senate. Frankly, I think it'd be nice if they formed a new party, but chances of that are probably slim. And according to iWon.com, John McCain has become the most well known Senator and will have much to do in swaying the centrist voters in the Senate. So maybe, as much of us would have preferred, McCain will be the real ruler in Washington.

#10455 - 11/27/00 10:17 PM Re: The Final Word?  
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
wow Offline
Carpal Tunnel
wow  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
New England, USA
Now, now! There we were having a bit of fun about the election and and somehow politics oozed in. If we can't see the absurd side of the situation we are sliding down the slippery slope to being serious about politics! Gawd zooks. Seriousness is for governance, not politics. Lighten up! WOW

#10456 - 11/28/00 12:14 AM Re: The Final Word?  
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,538
tsuwm Offline
Carpal Tunnel
tsuwm  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,538
this too shall pass
>if G.W. is a second rate governor, then why did he get re-elected in '98 with about 70% of the vote...

well, it was Texas, you know.

[as a Minnesotan, I am an expert on popularity contests!]

#10457 - 11/28/00 12:20 AM Re: The Final Word?  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Max Quordlepleen Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Max Quordlepleen  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Gawd zooks.

Zounds! Egad! One learns something daily - I have always spelled that as one word, without the "w" - gadzooks. Once again, my ignorance rears its ugly head. Cheers, wow. By the way, what does AHIP mean?

Page 4 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Moderated by  Jackie 

Forum Statistics
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
Newest Members
Sammy87, Bentron2000, Santanu, DavidOrigami, RichEngle
9048 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
1 registered members (SantaFeR), 88 guests, and 3 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Top Posters(30 Days)
Top Posters(All Time)
wwh 13,858
Faldage 13,803
Jackie 11,613
tsuwm 10,538
LukeJavan8 9,120
AnnaStrophic 6,511
Wordwind 6,296
of troy 5,400
Disclaimer: Wordsmith.org is not responsible for views expressed on this site. Use of this forum is at your own risk and liability - you agree to hold Wordsmith.org and its associates harmless as a condition of using it.

Home | Today's Word | Yesterday's Word | Subscribe | FAQ | Archives | Search | Feedback
Wordsmith Talk | Wordsmith Chat

© 1994-2018 Wordsmith

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0
Page Time: 0.015s Queries: 13 (0.004s) Memory: 2.7378 MB (Peak: 2.8708 MB) Zlib disabled. Server Time: 2018-04-24 18:42:53 UTC