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Joined: Dec 2000
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old hand
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Signs seem to be the topic of choice at the moment, so I forward this for your amusement...


Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's Office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

On using the Hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a restaurant, Nairobi: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school, India: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

On one of the Mathare Buildings: MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

Warning on an automatic rest room hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED

In a local cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

A Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-mai, Thailand; PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF SERVICE.

Hotel, Vienna; IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

Tourist agency, Czech: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.




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Carpal Tunnel
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B-y, these are great!
"...THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION..."--sounds like it ought to be a movie title! Probably an action flick, maybe with a lot of tragedy...


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Nice! Here's another lot...

Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait"



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Carpal Tunnel
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Or outside an American cemetery in NY State: "Residents Parking Only".



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Seen years ago, at a rural european hotel with a defective doorbell:
Button don't buzz. Bump.


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Carpal Tunnel
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Seen painted on a step-van outside Manton, Michigan
"Vincent Van Goes, Sign Painter"Sunflowers are extra?


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newbie
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The local septic tank cleaner in our neck of the (back?) woods has the slogan "A flush beats a full house" painted on his trucks. Pretty clever, I'd say.


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In some rural NH towns there is no municipal trash collection so you have to take the trash to the dump yourself or contract to have the "trash man" pick up your rubbish. One fellow in the Seacoast area had the slogan "Satisfaction guranteed or double your rubbish back."
He had a very successful business.



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