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#39665 08/27/01 08:26 AM
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squid Offline OP
journeyman
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I have a new friend named Mickie in merry ole England
who seems to be a jack-of-all trades....he can't keep a
job for very long. The reasons vary......

He tried his hand at selling tripe........but found he hadn't
the stomach for it.

He tried being a magician.....but only did it for a spell.

He wanted to be in Bomb Disposal.......but he blew it
at the interview....

He applied to be a Professional Mourner......but cried off
at the last minute.....

He was a fireman for awhile but was really put out when
the station closed, and he got quite Inflamed about it. So
they told him to go to blazes

He got a job as a mould maker.....but gave it up because
he failed to make an impression.

He became an astronaut and opened a night club on the
moon.....but quit because it didn't have any atmosphere.

Does anyone have other jobs to add?


#39666 08/27/01 09:09 AM
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Well, I once knew a sculptor who made faces and bust.

And also a hairdresser who curled up and died.

The chap wishing to join the army stepped off on the wrong foot when he went to the navy recruiting office, and shouldn't have been surprised that they waved him good-bye.

When someone suggested that I write a book, I was lost for words!

But the success story was the man, made redundant from a high-powered job, who went on foot all round the town, finally getting a job as a postman. He reckoned it was better than walking the streets.


#39667 08/27/01 04:30 PM
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Carpal Tunnel
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I knew a hooker who drank too much water.

Eventually she didn't know whether she was coming or going.



TEd
#39668 08/27/01 05:04 PM
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wwh Offline
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knew a hooker who drank too much water.

Eventually she didn't know whether she was coming or going.

I wonder which her clientele preferred. What a sensation. Incidentally, males cannot urinate when sexually aroused. And some of my patients on Mellaril used to get upset to find that when they ejaculated, the sperm went backwards into bladder, to be passed later with urine. (old joke about the boy complaining to the girl -"You curdled my urine!")


#39669 08/28/01 01:35 PM
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Dr Bill, this post goes into the annals of ' things I really didn't need to know '.


#39670 08/28/01 05:31 PM
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wwh Offline
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Lord Bacon took all knowledge to be his province. One never knows when an odd bit of knowledge may be useful. I have never had the option of declining any knowledge no matter how distasteful, and risked the ridicule of my colleagues if I were naive about any physiological phenomenon.


#39671 08/30/01 06:06 PM
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Dr Bill, the above is just one small example of the inappropriateness of many of the things you post here. As reommended elsewhere, could you please flag your posts with an appropriate subject so I'll know not to read them? Thanks.


#39672 08/30/01 06:17 PM
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An apple a day...




#39673 08/30/01 08:36 PM
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wwh Offline
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Makes Jack a dull boy.


#39674 09/04/01 07:50 AM
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squid Offline OP
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TOIL AND TROUBLE

I once had a job pouring orange juice in cans
But I soon had to leave there, I guess it was fate
The boss called me in and he said I was fired
And the reason for this, I could not concentrate.

I then got a job in the Forest so great
Where the work was demanding, we could not relax
But I could not hack it, I soon was called in
And they fired me again, I was given the ax.

A medical doctor, I finally became
And I hung my diploma up high on the wall
But soon I discovered this was not for me
For I could not display any patients at all.

A chef I became just to spice up my life
I baked pies of all flavors, some lemon, some lime,
I soon left that job like the ones gone before
I resented the fact I did not have the thyme.

At Starbucks I work putting coffee in cans
It's a job I was lucky, so lucky to find
But something tells me I won't last very long
It's Monotonous, it's boring, the same daily grind.

By Jasper Cook


He thought he would try being a garbage collector, but got canned after the first week on the job.

He built houses for awhile, but quit because he couldn't handle all the constructive criticism.

He tried being a fireman, but he just couldn't take the heat.







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