No, Faldo, there's a third school - mine. It's called the School of Commatorial and Ellipsisorial Overuse, Misuse and Abnormality (SCEOMA). I can only control it retrospectively. Tom Watson would conclude that it is a genetic fault and that I should be put down to save mankind from me. My wife agrees about the putting down part, but differs with Dr Watson (I presume) on the rationale.

Anybody who wants to take up the cudgels in SCEOMA's defence is welcome! You will find the cudgels at www.ohshittheresanothermisusedcomma.org.

- Pfranz