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#98621 03/14/03 01:27 PM
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I've found that most people are fascinated by our bodily functions and all pertaining to them. This appears to very much the case on this board, so I've given you this link.

http://www.virtualnorwood.com/news/029.shtml

About half-way down the page is a biographical note about George Jennings, who constructed the first Public Toilet (bathroom to you US'ns) in the UK.


This poem, in particular, caught my eye and my fancy

I'front the Royal Exchange and Underground,
Down Gleaming walls of porc'lain flows the sluice
That out of sight decants the Kidney Juice,
Thus pleasuring those Gents for miles around,
Who, crying for relief, once piped the sound,
Of wind in alley-ways. All hail this news!
And let the joyous shuffling queues
For Gentlemanly Jennings' most well found
Construction, wherein a penny ope's the gate
To Heav'n's mercy and Sanitary waves
Received the Gush with seemingly, cool obedience,
Enthroning Queen Hygeia in blessed state
On Crapper's Rocket: with rapturous ease men's cares
Shall flow away when seated at convenience!


#98622 03/14/03 03:39 PM
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hehehehe, very cute.

k


#98623 03/14/03 03:55 PM
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[where's that emoticon for rolling one's eyes?]


#98624 03/14/03 06:08 PM
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Dear RC: I think toilet is often used in U.S.
And restroom for public facility more often now than bathroom.


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And restroom for public facility more often now than bathroom.

I find restroom to be a bit of an oxymoron, actually. Especially if you have just eaten chillies or are extremely constipated. Not exactly a restful way to pass your time.... geddit?


#98626 03/18/03 03:06 PM
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This poem, in particular, caught my eye and my fancy

Rhuby, I am simultaneously flushed and bowled over by this witty little poem. Excuse me while I take a seat and wipe away the tears before going back to reading my Reader's Digest.

That was toilet humour, folks!


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I'm reminded of graffito seen long ago in a "restroom":
"Others may come here to shit and stink. I come here to
si;t and think."
Realistcally they should be labelled "Sanitary facility".


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And this little graffiti poem:

"Here I sit
All broken-hearted,
I paid a dime
But only farted."

Or the AWAD version:

"Here I sit
All broken-hearted,
I made a post
But only yarted."



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All I ever seem to get is "Phone Mary for a good time: 01933 581818". Not very poetical is it? Neither was Mary, I migh ..... Bugger!

- Pfranz

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Phone Mary

Good thing it wasn't Poppaea. She'd a played hell trying to get that zero on there.


#98631 03/18/03 07:32 PM
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867-5309


#98632 03/18/03 07:35 PM
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oh Jenny, Jenny...





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Good thing it wasn't Poppaea. She'd a played hell trying to get that zero on there.


True. But just as well. The bastards would still be in control if they'd had a zero.

- Pfranz

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The bastards would still be in control

And the petro-denarius would be unchallenged.


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Remember, they just killed anyone who got in their way. So yes, you're right. Hang on, hang on, isn't that exactly what's going on now? Don't tell me that the US is the natural inheritor of the Roman tradition? Stop the world! I wanna get off!

- Pfranz

#98636 03/18/03 10:49 PM
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... if they'd had a zero.

Saved by zero? (80's theme...)


#98637 03/19/03 12:25 AM
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Rikki Don't Loose That Number


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'Monkey closets'????? Gives new meaning to "going apeshit"!


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Reminds me of the constipated cricketer who was always clean bowled......


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Ah, yes, but when he got it cured, I'll bet that he had a rather sticky wicket ...

- Pfranz

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Well, I suppose then he just couldn't stop running.

Howzat?!!!


#98642 03/19/03 06:09 PM
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Running on empty?

Close enough... 1977


#98643 03/19/03 07:07 PM
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Real problem is emptying while running.


#98644 03/19/03 11:09 PM
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No brown no good?

98.6(1967)
http://www.keith986.com/keithbio.htm


#98645 03/20/03 01:32 AM
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Brown Sugar/Sticky Fingers

1969


#98646 03/20/03 11:07 AM
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But not in China, me old china.

- Pfranz

#98647 03/21/03 03:55 AM
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You Can't Always Get What You Want
http://www.stonesplanet.com/axsongs.htm
Just in case anyone was wondering


#98648 03/21/03 01:25 PM
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from the link: The band, which is scheduled to perform in Shanghai April 1 and in Beijing April 4, will not be allowed to play "Brown Sugar,""Honky Tonk Women,""Beast of Burden," or "Let's Spend the Night Together," said Chen Jixin head of Beijing Time New Century Entertainment, a concert organizer behind the two China dates.

The four songs, all of which include sexual references, were originally cut from the mainland release of the band's "40 Licks" compilation album by China's culture ministry, Chen said. "Brown Sugar" refers to an interracial coupling.


And what do they think the Stones are insinuating in their title "40 Licks"? Guitar licks? Ha! (yeah, and Sticky Fingers refers to eating cotton candy)

And, so, they can play "Hey! You! Get off of my Cloud!"
(Cloud being the girlfriend's name in the song)

Somebody call the Chinese Culture Ministry, quick! I mean, trying to delete all the sexual references out of Stones tunes is like trying to take the potato out of a potato chip!



#98649 03/21/03 01:55 PM
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all the sexual references out of Stones tunes

Or either that or drug use, one.


#98650 03/21/03 02:54 PM
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Why does it not surprise me that a thread which starts out about bodily functions ends up being about the Stones?


#98651 03/21/03 02:59 PM
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title "40 Licks"? Guitar licks?

Uh, yeah, that's what I'd assumed. Shows how much I know. Guess I'm not quite as corrupted as I'd first thought.


#98652 03/21/03 03:46 PM
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Why does it not surprise me that a thread which starts out about bodily functions ends up being about the Stones?

Uhhh, could it be because of Mick Jagger's image of a puritanically neutered asexuality?



#98653 03/31/03 03:20 AM
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Rhuby, my grateful thanks for this thread. I needed a good laugh after being depressed by the news, and I got several from this collection. Thanks also to the contributors.


#98654 03/31/03 07:07 AM
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Why does it not surprise me that a thread which starts out about bodily functions ends up being about the Stones?

Because Stone's songs, one way or another, are all about bodily functions, all of them interconnected.

- Pfranz

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