and some more (from page two!)....
From the Globe & Mail:
(item: "Just what was said") U.S. President George Bush, at a press conference on July 28 [19??], was asked whether he felt that his push to amend the U.S. Constitution to forbid flag–burning might weaken the First Amendment. Mr Bush said he felt a carefully drafted amendment could solve that problem, and continued: "And – but it's not a – I mean, I don't have disrespect for those who want to find a different answer. The thing that I think is heartening is that there's a wide array of support for doing something about this question, people that have maybe in the past not been identified, as I got to be, or, some years, you know, in this department. But there – so I don't question motives on this one. But I know what I think is right."
From the Globe & Mail's Social Studies section – Texan lingo:
Thunder and potatoes!; Dumber than a barrel of hair; (Crazy) He's on a different page than the rest of us; He was so ugly his mother borrowed a baby to take to church; She could start a fight in an empty house; (Bad singing) Melody that would give a headache to a dog; Don't that give you the saddle rash?; Mean enough to go bear hunting with a switch; Never sign nothing by neon; That truck couldn't pull a fat baby off a tricycle; No matter how popular you are, the size of your funeral depends on the weather.
From the Globe & Mail's Social Studies section – "Let me rephrase that – Some nice ways to say not–so–nice things":
Road kill: Vehicularly compressed maladapted life form.
Plagiarism: Previously owned prose.
Cannibalism: Intra–species dining.
Vomiting: Unplanned re–examination of recent food choices.
Alcoholic: Anti–sobriety activist.
Shoplifter: Cost–of–living adjustment specialist.
Stabbing: Social surgery.
Dead: Actuarially mature.
Homelessness: Mortgage–free living.
Corpse: Permanently static post–human mass.
From Giovanni Guareschi's The Little World of Don Camillo:
" ... as full as an egg ... " (p101)
From a birthday card:
It's your birthday! Try to be the centre of attention! Only do things that make you happy! Talk about yourself all day long! [inside] You know – pretend you're a guy.
Seen in Steve Lukits' office at the Whig–Standard:
All Is Vanity
Talk Is Cheap
It's Only Money
Everybody Dies
