#95900
02/17/2003 1:20 AM
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I've been very sceptical about intelligence tests given to dogs--remember reading about one in which it had been determined that the standard-sized French poodle was the smartest dog.
Dogs aside--since dogs are pretty smart, but not as smart as cats--which mammal is probably the least intelligent? There's bound to be one dumb-as-dirt mammal out there. Oppossums?
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#95901
02/17/2003 1:25 AM
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Posts: 7,210
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excepting the obvious, o' course? 
formerly known as etaoin...
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#95902
02/17/2003 1:38 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
old hand
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old hand
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>There's bound to be one dumb-as-dirt mammal out there.
Texan Republicans?
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#95903
02/17/2003 1:41 AM
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I know this ain't science, et. I'm just wondering and considering various mammals that it could be argued are dumb-as-dirt.
Now chickens seem to be pretty dumb, although I've read about how smart they are. Ha! As if! But bird brains--though I certainly respect bird brains--have been made light of many a time, even if erroneously.
But back to mammals. What is a good candidate for a dumb mammal, even if also an erroneous proposition?
I had a pretty dumb dog once upon time. You'd tell that dog to sit and that dog would lie down. If you said, "No, sit!" That dog would roll over and suddenly get up and put its paws on your shoulders. It would do everything but sit. It would go through all kinds of tricks while I asked it to sit. I sure laughed at that dog a lot. Maybe it just liked the sound of laughter. I don't know. It was a great dog, though pretty dumb. The reason it was a great dog is because it was affectionate, and affection carries a lot of value in my book.
But back to truly dumb mammals. Which one is probably the dumbest?
It wouldn't be the shrew. I'd expect shrews to be shrewd.
Lemmings? Are lemmings pretty dumb compared to other mammals?
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#95904
02/17/2003 2:32 AM
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Dear WW: Animal intelligence is very difficult to measure. I have always been very fond of cats,
ut do not share your high regard for their intelligence. I remember a psychologist telling me that
pigs were so smart they couldn't be used as test animals, because they so quickly figured out
what the test was about they gave very misleading results. I think that intelligence in animals is
likely to parallel closely the benefits they derive from it. I think I might nominate your pal the
hippopotamus, as among the most stupid, because it has virtually no predators to fear and hardly
any decisions to make. Now it occurs to me that the elephant also with no predators except man
to fear is quite smart. At least it can be taught taught, and allegedly has a proverbial memory.
Whi;ch reminds me of the legend about the mule that remembered for many years having been
tormented,until it finally got a chance at revenge. I'll have to go see if I can find that story.
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#95905
02/17/2003 4:06 AM
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Posts: 4,189
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
--Robert A. Heinlein
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#95906
02/17/2003 4:12 AM
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Posts: 4,189
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Aside from homo sapiens, I think it could well be the hippopotamus. now don't start on their "hooves" again, sjm!
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#95907
02/17/2003 4:58 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
old hand
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old hand
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I think it could well be the hippopotamus. now don't start on their "hooves" again, sjm!
'Twere Oliphaunts what I was ranting about hooves, not happypottymouses. Sheesh!
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#95908
02/18/2003 4:12 PM
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2002
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The stupidest mammal has to be the ai because he needs three to do what the unau manages with only two. And that's not a lot.
Hippopotamus? We're not back with Flanders and Swann again are we?
Hippopotamus? Reminds me of my favourite cartoon. Shows two hippos nostril deep in a jungle pool, just floating idly. One says, "You know, I keep thinking its Thursday."
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#95909
02/18/2003 4:29 PM
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And there is no excuse for hippos getting thirsty.
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#95910
02/19/2003 4:42 AM
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'Twere Oliphaunts what I was ranting about hooves, not happypottymouses. Sheesh!It had to be happypottymice because Oliphuants, as everyone know, don't have hooves!  Sheesh!
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#95911
02/19/2003 5:10 PM
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Has anyone read Bill Bryson's book - Made In America (or something like that) where he mentions the moose as being one of the most, if not THE most stupid creature on earth* (hooves again!!) - an example of their rather dozy nature being that they apparently run towards an approaching car in the hope of escaping it (I can't get hold of a quote from the book right now). I would like to add, however that, since there has been apparently no study of moose phycology it is possible that their dozey nature is due to constant and deep immertion in interlectual and philosophical thought (e.g: hmmm, grass... one of the many roots of all life and matter possibly created by, but not limited to, some type of divine, yet obviously debatable, intervention... " then again, it could just be something like, "hmmm, grass... mmmmmmmm!"
*With the possible exception of certain homo sapiens...
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#95912
02/19/2003 6:03 PM
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Joined: Apr 2000
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(not your quote but)
Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. In fact, a moose is a cow drawn by a three year old. A moose runs as if its legs have never been introduced to each other. Even its antlers are hopeless. Other creatures grow antlers with sharp points that look wonderful in profile and command the respect of adversaries. Moose grow antlers that look like oven gloves.
-Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods
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#95913
02/19/2003 6:52 PM
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Posts: 4,189
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moose talkHi, musick!  sorry, I just couldn't keep meself from loosing such a golden opportunity!
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#95914
02/20/2003 6:27 PM
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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(not your quote but)No, no - that was exactly the quote I was thinking of, I just got the name of the book wrong, thanks for finding it! 
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#95915
02/20/2003 8:41 PM
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Dangerous Drunken Moose
Herds of drunken Moose from Norway have crossed the frontier into the Russian region of Murmansk. These animals are
considered as dangerous because of their aggressive behaviou
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#95916
02/20/2003 9:38 PM
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Posts: 6,296
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wwh, where on earth did you read about drunken moose from Norway? How did they get drunk? I've heard of elephants eating fermented bananas and getting drunk...
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#95917
02/20/2003 10:33 PM
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Posts: 13,858
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#95918
02/21/2003 4:19 AM
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Posts: 3,065
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I was interested in this new (to me) use in Dr. Bill's article:
For the next three to four weeks, the bull will work at gathering a harem of cows, breeding each one in turn as she hits the peak of her estrous cycle.
Many (most?) AWADers will have far more experience of breeding than I do, but I always understood the transitive use to refer to people choosing two animals to mate with each other in order for them to produce offspring with traits the humans think desirable. Here it seems to be used to mean "mate with". Is this a standard term that has hitherto escaped my notice or is mate with now considered too blunt to be used in polite company (assuming the readers of Close to the Land are considered polite company, of course)?
Bingley
Bingley
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#95919
02/21/2003 5:13 AM
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Terrific story, wwh, and very well-written. Makes me long to breathe in the scent of cranberries. I liked this part especially:
Challenges are most often dealt with through posturing and display of antlers. Whoever looks the biggest wins.
Of course, the writer went on to describe situations in which the bulls fight and injure each other, sometimes fatally. But I like this part above that indicates that sometimes size itself wards off battles.
Bingley, I found the use of 'breed' in the quote you mentioned odd, too. I think of farmers breeding animals (and, please, y'all, no chicken/sheep comments), but I don't think of animals breeding each other. Must check a dictionary.
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#95920
02/21/2003 10:47 AM
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Posts: 2,636
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Source: The Collins English Dictionary © 1998 HarperCollins Publishers
breed [brid]
vb. breeds, breeding. bred.
1. to bear (offspring).
2. (tr.) to bring up; raise.
3. to produce or cause to produce by mating; propagate.
4. to produce and maintain new or improved strains of (domestic animals and plants).
5. to produce or be produced; generate: to breed trouble; violence breeds in densely populated areas.
n.
6. a group of organisms within a species, esp a group of domestic animals, originated and maintained by man and having a clearly defined set of characteristics.
7. a lineage or race: a breed of Europeans.
8. a kind, sort, or group: a special breed of hatred.
[Old English bredan, of Germanic origin; related to {brood}]
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#95921
02/21/2003 1:28 PM
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Dear Bingley: I'm reminded of a story told me by a very refined young lady. A farmer saw
that his sow was in oestrus, so loaded her into his wheelbarrow and took her to a farm to
the east to be bred. But she did not conceive, so when oestrus recurred, he put her in
his wheelbarrow, and took her to a farm to the south. Still no results, so when oestrus
signs recurred, he put her in the wheelbarrow, and took her to a farm to the west.
Still no luck. When oestrus again was observed, the sow was already in the wheelbarrow.
Which goes to show you shouldn't let yourself get in a rut.
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#95922
02/21/2003 1:41 PM
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A bull moose in rut is dangerous. An elephant * must* be far more so Kipling spelled
it musth.
must2 7must8
n.
5Hindi mast, intoxicated < Pers mast < IE base *mad3, to be moist > MEAT6 a state of frenzy in animals, esp. in the male elephant, usually associated with sexual heat
adj.
in must
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#95923
02/22/2003 11:54 AM
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Posts: 2,636
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I must, therefor I do. [whistling, looking out the window-e]
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#95924
02/23/2003 6:51 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
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While visiting Norway in 1992, I heard stories about the carribou/reindeer of northern Scandanavia (Lapland, etc.) leaving thier 'home on the range' because thier food supply had already "left", and they were found wandering the streets of southern, more populated areas much more often. They were fleeing the disasterous effects of the catastrophy at Chernobyl.
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#95925
02/23/2003 8:13 PM
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Posts: 13,858
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I can understand indicence ofthyroid and other cancers in children being high as result
of nuclear catastrophe at Chernobyl. I have never heard that the caribou/reindeer of
Scandinavia were affected in a way that would make them migrate. They too might
have cancers, but why would that make them migrate? Looking for a veterinary oncologist?
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#95927
02/23/2003 9:27 PM
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Dear musick: Deadly doses of radioactive materials would be completely tasteless. That long
remport made no mention of effect on any land animals. What a bunch of bastards the Russian
nuclear people were. Too bad the admirers of the Communists can't be made to go clean up the
mess. "I have seen the future, and it works." Bullshit.
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#95928
02/23/2003 10:07 PM
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wwh - Section 22 of that report reveals a bit of it. (I was kidding about the *flavor, sorry I left out the asterisk) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/1086547.stm
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#95929
02/23/2003 10:39 PM
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Dear musick: I think that a dose of radiation that might harm the animal would not cause a
concentration high enough in the edible parts to be a serious health hazard. I would however
not eat meat that had any measureable amount of radioactive material in it.
I still don't see any relation between the radioactive stuff and moose migrating to the
cities.
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#95930
02/24/2003 3:25 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
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I'm sure it was a *feeling they had about what was going on around them. I was told it took about four years for the birds to come back and that the silence during that time was 'deafening'.
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#95932
02/24/2003 10:46 PM
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Predator of the lemming: long-tailed skkuasWhuh? wwh, your link was rife with spelling errors, and that made it fun to read. It's always fun to read articles on the Net that have spelling errors! But the long-tailed skkuas? I must go look for that word: skkua. Could it have been skunk? Or is there a skkua and I just never heard of one! Anyway, I'm glad you posted the link, if only to learn the whole lemmings-into-the-sea is myth--and provided by Disney!
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#95933
02/24/2003 10:49 PM
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skua British, jaeger
noun [C]
a type of large sea bird which lives in the north Atlantic and steals food from other birds
Well, that explains that. wwh's link misspelled skua, among lots of other words!
Sorry, Scrabble fans. You can't use those two k's for skkua. (Are there two k's in Scrabble?)
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#95934
02/25/2003 12:40 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
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You can't use those two k's for skkua. (Are there two k's in Scrabble?)
...There can be if you use a blankk for one...
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#95935
02/25/2003 12:41 AM
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Posts: 13,858
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Disney didn't invent that fairytale. I remember reading it seventy years ago. Here's a link that sounds very sensible. When lemming population explodes, they have to migrate in large numbers. At times in strange terrirory, the ones behind may crowd the ftont ones off a cliff. Sounds sensible to me. http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/lemmings.htm
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#95936
02/25/2003 1:21 AM
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In reply to:
...There can be if you use a blankk for one...
Smart-A in every group!
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#95937
02/25/2003 1:22 AM
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skua...large sea bird which lives in the north Atlantic and steals food from other birds
Ther may be more widespread than that: I recall reading that skua steal penguin eggs, too. Having a fondness for penguins I wish the birds had stayed up North after all.
Edit: But since penguins are birds too, I guess the original statement stands as written.
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#95939
02/25/2003 2:52 AM
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Well, while we're on the subject of strange birds, we can't very well leave this one out, can we?: http://www.kiwi.bird.freeservers.com/Kiwis lay the biggest eggs! why am I not surprised?"However, kiwis left Australia for New Zealand at some point, possibly on land links via New Caledonia. So, although there are no wild kiwis left there, Australians may also proudly point to the kiwi as "their bird". (Hmmmm...) To hear the sound of a kiwi, click here: http://www.learnz.org.nz/2k/nestegg/index.htm oh, dear me!!!...no comment!
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