#94022
01/31/2003 6:49 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
I'm not given to wearing tee-shirts with catchy slogans, but I will wear the two my mom sent me recently.
a) "Never judge a book by its movie"
and
2) New Yorker cartoon of a guy talking to the cashier at a bookstore: "This is my first book. But if I like it, I may buy another in the near future."
Have y'all seen any good ones lately?
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#94023
01/31/2003 8:10 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
I'm on a DRINKING team
with a bowling problem
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#94024
01/31/2003 9:31 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
It used to be considered witty by some who had old, run-down cars to have a bumper sticker that read "My other car is a Porsche." After those had been around for quite some time, I got a big laugh when I saw a bumper sticker on a particularly rusty-looking bucket of bolts that read "My other car is a piece of s**t too."
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#94025
02/01/2003 2:57 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833 |
I once saw a bumper sticker on some flash car (sorry, don't remember what it was - I'm a girly girl in that respect!) that said, "My other car is a Volkswagen Beetle." Wow. A custom-made bumper sticker...!
Fave bumper sticker I've heard about, but not seen:
Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards while wearing high heels
Fave t-shirt I saw in a catalogue once:
wysiwyg
And fave recently-acquired t-shirt:
YOU DON'T KNOW ME
Federal Witness Protection Program
Most appropriate bumper sticker, seen on a car that had slewed across the sidewalk and hit a telephone pole:
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Bumper stickers I wish I had:
If you're rich, I'm single
and
So many men, so few who can afford me
(and surprisingly enough, they don't really reflect my attitude! but I just find them a hoot...anyway, I wouldn't put a bumper sticker on my baby - I like a pristine car. But I like reading them on other people's cars! Wonder who on earth first came up with the idea of the bumper sticker?)
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#94026
02/01/2003 1:13 PM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
just saw a bumper sticker yesterday that was a new one to me:
Marijuana: Hey, at least it's better than crack.
formerly known as etaoin...
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#94027
02/01/2003 5:33 PM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624 |
My favourite T-shirt which has now gone to that great big rag-bag in the sky, had a picture of two vultures on a tree branch under a blazing sun. One is saying to the other: "Patience my ass. I'm gunna KILL something!"
My favourite bumper sticker is on 'er indoors' office wall: "Jesus is coming. Look busy!"
- Pfranz
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#94028
02/01/2003 9:50 PM
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
Not recent, but used to own
top front: CHILKOOT CHARLIE'S
bottom front: A Rustic Alaskan Saloon
back: We cheat the other guy .... and pass the savings on to you!
And of course the bumper sticker I like most is "You! Outta the gene pool!"
k
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#94029
02/06/2003 12:47 PM
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692 |
A card stuck on an office door:
PLEASE GO AWAY
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#94030
02/06/2003 2:25 PM
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
addict
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addict
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679 |
Bikers have a good sense of humour. Two I've seen recently:
1. (Pink t-shirt): Help me! I'm a lesbian trapped inside this big, fat hairy biker!
2. (On the back): If you can read this then the bitch fell off
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#94031
02/06/2003 11:06 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171
member
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member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171 |
I suspect there's enough variety in this list to offend most everyone:
BUMPER STICKERS
1. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
2. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."
3. The proctologist called, they found your head.
4. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
5. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
6. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
7. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8. Hang up and drive.
9. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
10. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
11. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.
12. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
13. Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
14. Welcome to America...Now speak English.
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#94032
02/06/2003 11:11 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171
member
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member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171 |
And, just in case not everyone was offended, a few more:
1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
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2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
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3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People
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4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
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5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
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6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point
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7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better
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8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant
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9. Thank You For Pot Smoking
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10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing
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11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling
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12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
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13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer
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14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger
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15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger
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16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass
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17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
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18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
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19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
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20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me!
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21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
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22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
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23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
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25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
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26. Illiterate? Write For Help
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27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
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28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
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29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles from The Next Exit
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30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
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32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
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37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
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38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a jeep]
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40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.
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41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
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44. Ax Me About Ebonics
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45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
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46. Boldly Going Nowhere
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47. Cat: The Other White Meat
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48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
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49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
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50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
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52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
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53. If You! Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
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54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
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55. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... GotIt!
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56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
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57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
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61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
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62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
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64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
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65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
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#94033
02/11/2003 4:10 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
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#94034
02/11/2003 2:32 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun!
-------------------------------------
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?
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#94035
02/11/2003 2:47 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
"previously, on AWAD..."
Living here at a shore resort with a 3 1/2 mile boardwalk crammed with T-shirt shops I could fill a whole page. I've just about seen them all, from blue to cute, but sometimes a new slogan jumps out at you. This one turned my head and gave me a good chuckle last year as I walked down the "boards"...never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:
NO MAAM
National
Organization of
Men
Against
Amazonian
Masterhood
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#94036
02/11/2003 7:07 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
Here's a picture of me wearing my favorite T-shirt. I wear it (kinda like a joke)  to lawn parties and social gatherings around Alabama. http://boatertalk.com/forum/BoaterTalk/325368
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#94037
02/11/2003 8:02 PM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742 |
> never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:
NO MAAMProof positive that you never watched Married With Children 
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#94038
02/11/2003 11:02 PM
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725 |
Have you seen:
Menopausal - Stay Back!
and something I saw only once (no wonder)--
Colostomy is my bag.
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#94039
02/12/2003 8:41 PM
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261 |
I've often found postcards to be good for this kinda thing -here are a few I saw the other day or have stuck to my door:
Nice Person, Wrong Planet
I'm not wierd... I'm just special
Please leave this planet as you would wish to find it
(with a picture of a dog on the front) At least my dog looks at me when I speak to him...
Bankers are people who lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining and then want it back when it starts to rain.
And a personal favorite:
Nothing right in left brain. Nothing left in my right brain.
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#94040
02/12/2003 8:45 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
I have a T shirt with a picture of the Venus of Willendorf http://art.wlu.edu/venus of willendorf.jpgand the legend: Must Be Venus Envy
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#94041
02/12/2003 8:45 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?Ya mean we can't?  ...oops! 
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#94042
02/12/2003 8:55 PM
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261 |
Ooh! And not forgetting...
If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off
and
Stop the world - I want to get ON!
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#94044
02/12/2003 9:23 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
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#94046
02/15/2003 10:51 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Then there's the one I had made. On the front it says:
Rule#2 When the umpire is wrong see rule#1
On the back it says:
Rule#1 The umpire is always right
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#94047
02/16/2003 12:11 AM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
saw a great one yesterday:
Well-behaved women never make history
formerly known as etaoin...
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#94048
02/16/2003 2:23 AM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 866
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 866 |
I'm into the old Ford vs GM thing - but here in Oz it's Ford vs Holden - same same.
I'm sure these are applicable world wide, just substitute two locally produced marques.
I'd rather push my Holden than drive a Ford
On a perfect day all you can hear is the sound of Fords rusting away
stales
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#94049
02/18/2003 11:35 AM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
addict
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addict
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475 |
My partner has a t-shirt which he wears just to upset lefty right on guardianistas ( most of our friends ) with the legend 'disabled is the new black'. I have a t-shirt to go with it which saves me dull conversations at parties with 'I can't believe he's not better' in place of the 'I can't believe it's not butter' logo.
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#94050
02/19/2003 1:09 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833 |
dody's back! dody's back! HURRAH! good to see you posting again dody baby! love the t-shirts....
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#94051
02/20/2003 1:25 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Dody, it's nice to see you again. But I have to say that a good bit of your post made no sense to me. I did find a clue as to what a "guardianista" is, and to my dismay, what I suspected turned out to be true. http://www.fuzzclog.com/I had not heard of this publication--is it a magazine?--before joining this board. And indeed, when my beloved shanks wrote of the Grauniad, I thought it was an odd name, but took him at his word. I still have no idea what 'the new black' means.
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#94052
02/20/2003 1:42 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Jackie, the Brits can tell you better than I, but. The Guardian is an independent-thinking progressive newspaper which I like a lot. Now what's a Fuzzclog?  And by "the new black," I think what's meant is the new group to discriminate against. Not that you asked me, but did that ever stop me?
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#94053
02/20/2003 4:14 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
No, I don't mind, Anna--sponge-like, I soak up info. from all sources. Here's the explanation their site gives:
What does the word 'Fuzzclog' mean?
Dictionary definition - "a profound philosophical statement ."
What is the purpose of Fuzzclog?
Fuzzclog is a non-profit organisation. The main aim of the website is to give students (and desirable others) the opportunity to have their work viewed across the entire world.
Who runs Fuzzclog?
Fuzzclog is run by a group of media art students studying at Southampton Institute in the UK.
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#94054
02/20/2003 5:26 PM
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725 |
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
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#94055
02/20/2003 9:04 PM
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
I was once tasked  with naming and shirt design for our softball team; we became None of the Above, which was most apt as we traditionally finished last but none. long after I (was) retired from the team, I was given a 20th Anniversary shirt, the name has ever held.
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#94056
02/21/2003 3:02 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833 |
A friend was telling me, just last night, about a colleague of his whose name is Les. Apparently Les got asked to do an awful lot of work and is always being put on jobs others won't do, etc., until he decided his personal slogan should be, "We Do More With Les!"
(well, I liked it!)
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#94057
02/21/2003 1:15 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
addict
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addict
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475 |
So, some explanation is needed. The Guardian is a daily newspaper on the left of the political spectrum. It is renowned for it's appalling spelling and is often referred to as the Grauniad. It is a broadsheet rather than a tabloid, although it usually has two tabloid supplements which feed every intellectuals secret desire to look at Kylies bottom. This link gives a brief history of the paper. http://www.guardian.co.uk/Print/0,3858,4428358,00.html To access the online paper click on this http://www.guardian.co.uk The cryptic crossword is great, Auracaria may just be a genius. The new black is a fashion term which now describes every thing new in terms of previously fashionable things. So, Britney is the new Tiffany, grey is the new black and so on. Just google say, grey is the new black, it's terrifyingly ubiquitous. There is an occasional column in the Private Eye devoted to this disease. The new black could also be taken to mean what Ana said. 'I can't believe it's not butter' is a margarine with a stupid name.
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#94058
02/21/2003 2:18 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
'I can't believe it's not butter' is a margarine with a stupid name.
I've always referred to it as "I can't believe you think it's butter."
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#94059
02/21/2003 4:46 PM
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725 |
'I can't believe it's not butter' is a margarine with a stupid name.
I've always referred to it as "I can't believe you think it's butter."
Faldage - is that from your "olio" of pet peeves?
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#94060
02/21/2003 5:28 PM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
another thread turned to food...
anyone know where I can find a good belt?
formerly known as etaoin...
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#94061
02/22/2003 11:36 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
I have a bottle of very good 12 year old Bunnahabhain. If you can tell me how to pronounce it, you can have a good belt of it. not!Ænigma suggests bunnies.
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