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Posts: 171 |
And, just in case not everyone was offended, a few more:
1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
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2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
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3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People
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4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
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5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
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6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point
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7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better
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8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant
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9. Thank You For Pot Smoking
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10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing
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11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling
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12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
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13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer
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14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger
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15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger
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16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass
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17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
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18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
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19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
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20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me!
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21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
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22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
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23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
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25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
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26. Illiterate? Write For Help
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27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
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28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
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29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles from The Next Exit
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30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
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32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
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37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
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38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a jeep]
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40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.
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41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
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44. Ax Me About Ebonics
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45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
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46. Boldly Going Nowhere
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47. Cat: The Other White Meat
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48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
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49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
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50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
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52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
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53. If You! Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
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54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
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55. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... GotIt!
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56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
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57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
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61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
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62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
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64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
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65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
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Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun!
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If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
"previously, on AWAD..."
Living here at a shore resort with a 3 1/2 mile boardwalk crammed with T-shirt shops I could fill a whole page. I've just about seen them all, from blue to cute, but sometimes a new slogan jumps out at you. This one turned my head and gave me a good chuckle last year as I walked down the "boards"...never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:
NO MAAM
National
Organization of
Men
Against
Amazonian
Masterhood
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
Here's a picture of me wearing my favorite T-shirt. I wear it (kinda like a joke)  to lawn parties and social gatherings around Alabama. http://boatertalk.com/forum/BoaterTalk/325368
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742 |
> never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:
NO MAAMProof positive that you never watched Married With Children 
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725 |
Have you seen:
Menopausal - Stay Back!
and something I saw only once (no wonder)--
Colostomy is my bag.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261 |
I've often found postcards to be good for this kinda thing -here are a few I saw the other day or have stuck to my door:
Nice Person, Wrong Planet
I'm not wierd... I'm just special
Please leave this planet as you would wish to find it
(with a picture of a dog on the front) At least my dog looks at me when I speak to him...
Bankers are people who lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining and then want it back when it starts to rain.
And a personal favorite:
Nothing right in left brain. Nothing left in my right brain.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
I have a T shirt with a picture of the Venus of Willendorf http://art.wlu.edu/venus of willendorf.jpgand the legend: Must Be Venus Envy
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?Ya mean we can't?  ...oops! 
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