Thanks; it was fun...
From the paper:
*Depressed Dvorak was spendthrift
Blue Czech blew check
*Collins’s style permeates estate
Phil's manner fills manor
*Blockheaded lover has an accident on a rural road
Dense dear dents deer
*Merchant recognized animal in the basement
seller knew cellar gnu
From me:
*Acme Egg Farm Shut Down -- Chickens wafted disgusting odor towards neighboring homes.
fowl sent foul scent
* Franchise founder Sanders puts bullets in corn silo exit-slides
colonel shoots kernel chutes
*Different groups of vulgar pursers, stewards, yeomen, etc. worked on that particular Carnival route throughout the season.
crude crews crewed cuise
* Bono’s group says of his pet sheep: she reminds us of a bunch of fungus/alga symbiotic dual-plants
U2 likens ewe to lichens
*Homemaker support hotline helps housewives vent: “One wife phoned and talked about her extreme distaste for the ring her husband leaves on his shirt from having a sweaty neck ” says founder.
caller discussed collar disgust
*Santa was late for the next house on his list because the weird appendages on Johnny’s pet crab really impressed him
odd claws awed Claus
* Ms. Wray’s namesakes were victorious in the first stage.
Fayes won phase one
*So as not to blemish his reputation as a great athlete, former Left Fielder Rice de-accentuated his “F” in phys-ed when he posted his freshman year report card on his “Meet the 1974-1989 Redsox” website.
Jim grayed gym grade
*(there are 2 in this one) Women Trampled at Free-range Zoo! The exclusive group of house cleaners took a picture (causing a certain sound .) What follows is as would be expected: a sound that was audible irritates group of buffalo , stampede ensues.)
maid clique made click -- a noise heard annoys herd