We'ld love to hear....." and "...and we'ire"

Welcome clay,

If this is the Brit Daily Telegraph then I really can't understand the connection with any totally original constructions such as those you quote. The paper isn't renowned for its sense of adventure or for having a slightly surreal sense of humour.

Are you sure it isn't just a corrupted email (assuming that's what your "Weekly Message" is) or something?