Makes me think of Monty Python's Philosopher's Drinking Song, Littljoe [Hi BTW]:


Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel




Changing the consonant is, of course, a cop-out, but otherwise it looks like you're stuck with other words derived from related language groups - which are mostly names in this case.