now you'll just have to cycle on up here

Deciding on the route is the thing, my Zildian friend - don't want too many big ups and downs on the way.

Lessee...

http://www.ngdc.noaa.gov/mgg/image/walter/World.jpg

Head South down along the West coast of France/Spain and North Africa, veering off into the Atlantic at the point where Africa and South America stick out a little towards each other. A bit hilly here, but never mind.
Carry on over the Atlantic to the NE coast of South America, head NW up past the island chain to Panama.

Heard there are some rough fish that hang out in the Panama Canal, so I'll take my heavy-duty cycling helmet. Have to be patient with all the locks, too. May just hold my breath for a bit and cycle along the canal path, though perhaps that's a little over-adventurous.

After Panama there's the Pacific to contend with. Either I grit my teeth and just head for NZ pretty much as the crow swims, or I follow the shallowish water going South for a thousand miles or so then veering West (another thousand miles) and back North towards NZ.

Hmmm. Reckon I'll split the difference. Follow the shallow water as far South as the tip of South America, then go for a great big whoopy freewheel WNW into the depths and see if the momentum carries me a reasonable distance up the other side of the dip. Then it's a low-gear slog the rest of the way.

Get me a pint in at your local around midday 1st April 2003, mate.