Darnit, Whitman, Nuke'em 2 is already out and the Academy hasn't yet named the Awad Awards for Nuke'em 1.

May I have the envelope please...

The Best Imitation of Monica Lewinsky Award goes to...
...the Wordwind who said...

" Five minutes with the president; That's all I'm asking. Five minutes"

The Most Clever Mask of a Vulgar and Tasteless Remark Award;
The winner is...Faldage for the sentiment...

"Anyun thanks a three yer ole cain't lie 'sgot his hed stuck so far up his butt he's lookin' through his ohn bawls."

And the ever-coveted It Takes One To Know One Award goes to...of course, everyone's favorite Chicagian- Musick for the completeness of his remark...

"I know a non-sequitur when I see one, and that ain't one."

And now a Surprise. For the first time in aylears history a unamious vote for the Miss Congeniality Award ...Fishonabike ! Come on up fish and take a bow...sure you can, fish, if you can ride a bike you can bow. Thank You fish, you are fresh tho' though a fish and we love you. What a guy!

Moving right along, the award for the Most Profound But Yet Cool Comment goes to the much-saged wwh for...

"...so as we are all descriptivists and if we strip all meaning from words, communication will be more surely destroyed than can be done by the use of a few, like, y'knows, and whatevers."

And Finally, at long last, we come to that most titilating moment of these awards for all you word-loving, mother-loathing, pedancing pedants out there in full-lull of catch-as-may-catch-can word processing. The announcement of the award for Hey, Hey, I Gotcha goes to...

Ladies and gentlemen, you won't believe this...It's a Tie!

Annastrophic for her catching WhitmanOniel in his sloppy spelling of "expecially" (sic)and the great Faldage for his insight into the message of wordwind that she had clumsly used an extra "the".
Congratulations you two, and bless your ever continuing ideas of frolicing and fun.
And I mean this (outside of sublties) sincerely,


Milum. (And the two-thousand members of the Academy Board.)

Except one.