#80697
09/13/2002 7:46 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
1. HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER?
You boil the hell out of it.
2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL?
Dam.
3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE?
Polaroids.
4. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?
Nacho cheese.
5. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
A stick.
6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
Subordinate clauses.
7. WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
Quatro sinko.
8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
Spoiled milk.
9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
Frostbite.
10. W HAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?
A nervous wreck.
11. WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
Right where you left him.
12. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP?
Anyone can roast beef.
13. WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
Because they have big fingers.
14. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKYDIVE?
Because it scares the dog.
15. WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?
Sanka
16. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER?
The location of the dirt bag.
17. WHY DO A PILGRIM'S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats.
18. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER?
A bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes, damn, whack.
19. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT?
Unique up on it.
20. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT?
Tame way, unique up on it.
21. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS?
Skeet.
22. HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!
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#80698
09/13/2002 8:15 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
If you have Yahoo! edit,copy question into Yahoo! search box, and up comes answer.
U kive tgat Yahoo! seaarch box.
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#80699
09/13/2002 8:39 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
Hey, wwh! You can get the answers more readily by reading what of troy has whited out.   WW
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#80700
09/13/2002 8:48 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Actually I did a lot of them the hard way, but chickened out at work of posting them.
And what the hell is "quatro cincho" or whatever that was?
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#80701
09/13/2002 8:54 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
In reply to:
WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?Quatro sinko.
OK, wwh. You asked for it:
Four bullfighters sink in the quicksand. How many of these Spanish-speaking (perhaps) sank in the sand? Four. Or, in the little Spanish I recognize, quatro. And what did these bullfighters do in the sand? They sank. Or, to anglo-Spanishify it: sinko. Quatro sinko. There you go!
Love from Wordwind who is usually the last to get jokes others immediately get!
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#80702
09/13/2002 8:54 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,089 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,089 Likes: 2 |
WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
Quatro sinko.
Multi-lingual pun. Four Spanish-speakers in quicksand --> four sinkers --> cuatro cinco = part of the sequence uno-dos-tres-cuatro-cinco = 1-2-3-4-5.
Ya hadda be there...
Edit: OK, so you beat me by five seconds!
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#80703
09/13/2002 9:07 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
I figured the "sinko" had to be allusion to real Latino lingo.
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#80704
09/13/2002 11:19 PM
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
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#80705
09/14/2002 4:55 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
What's a bullfighter?
One who fights bull.
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#80706
09/14/2002 8:20 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
What's a bullfighter?
One who fights bull.
Synonymous with 'Musick'
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#80707
09/16/2002 12:07 AM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
Reminds me of the story about the pygmy cattle in New Zealand, which tend to congregate along the fault lines. One of the visitors who was there during a 7.2 magnitude quake noticed that all of the cows in the herd fell down during the quake while the bulls remained standing. She asked the farmer why. "Simple", he replied, "wee bulls wobble but they don't fall down."
TEd
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#80708
09/16/2002 3:49 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742 |
>Reminds me of the story about the pygmy cattle in New Zealand, which tend to congregate along the fault lines.
Is there anywhere else on Earth where one can get milk from Bulls?
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#80709
09/16/2002 11:42 AM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346 |
>>pygmy cattle in New Zealand
Is there anywhere else on Earth where one can get milk from Bulls?Sadly I think TEd's already milked these particular bulls for all they're worth. 
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#80710
09/16/2002 4:58 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear fishonabike: but as in ancient joke about city girl learning to milk,
and starting with a bull, there's only a small amount of fluid in the pail.
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#80711
09/16/2002 6:18 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
the bawdy ballad i know has this couplet
"I saw a maiden milk a bull,
with every pull, a bucket full!"
guess there is a method to it!
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#80712
09/16/2002 9:50 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346 |
guess there is a method to it!ROF  OL! Joni Mitchell sang "I could drink a case of you". She must have mastered the method.
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#80713
09/16/2002 10:29 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Not even Claire Swire claimed to have consumed a case.
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#80714
09/19/2002 2:53 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
This made me laugh out loud--something I heard on TV last night. I was channel surfing, and found something called Sports collisions and bloopers, or something like that. There was a horse race, and one of the entrants was Hoof Hearted. Now, I pronounce the word hoof with the same u sound as in the word pull. But the race announcer says it the other way: with the oo sound in the word tooth. Well, this horse won the race, and the announer calls, "And it's Hoof Hearted in the winner's circle"...
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#80715
09/19/2002 8:57 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
I didn't laugh. I didn't get it. And then I said it out loud and heard myself say, "And it's Who Farted in the Winnter's Circle."
Is that what made you laugh, Jackie?
Have to ask because sometimes I miss things. Often I miss things.
WW
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