BREAKFAST:
A pot of coffee and a straw.

...I definitely can relate.

CANADIAN:
A Canadian is anyone who has figured out how to make love in a canoe.
--Pierre Berton

...True?


CAT:
Felis Catus, is your toxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous in nature.
--Commander Data, USS Enterprise NCC1701-D
A perambulatory safety deposit box for hairballs.
--Michael Nellis, 11 Sep 1993
They are Satan's spawn sent for my torment. The less said about them the better.
--Jack Ruttan, 24 Feb 1997 [about the antics of his two cats]
A cat by any other name is still a sneaky little furball.
People who dislike cats were rats in a former life!
A small, furry beast resembling a meatloaf.

CATHOLIC:
A cat with a drinking problem


CONFIDENCE:
The feeling you had before you knew better.


DEPRESSION:
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.


ELECTORAL COLLEGE:
The Electoral College is a weird and complicated plan drawn up by our founding fathers just before the bartender cut them off. --Mark Russell in the Wall Street Journal
[On the occasion of the 2000 presidential election fiasco. --MN]

...and now I'll cut myself off. These were great, W'on! Thanks to Faldage, too!