Dear Gallant Ted,

I was sitting around admiring the photograph of you, Alcamoo, and Maddog, when all of a sudden it hit me.
Hey! This is no casual photograph, this is an professional advertisement for Budweiser Beer!

Ten years ago the Budweiser folks found that beers could be sold more effectively if their billboards told a simple story, ideally a story of romance, and in stories of romance three is the ideal number. I rushed to the store and bought a case of Budweiser.

At home I drank half of the case of Bud and then looked at the photo again. No help, the photo still looked fuzzy. Then I got a pair of 3-D glasses. Bingo! Clear as a bell. I got another Budweiser from the fridge and began analyzing the picture.

Right out of the box my eyes were drawn to a gold-framed painting of the setting sun, symbolically situated directly above Maddog's head. Maddogs close-set beady eyes look at you, Gallant, with anger, but it is an sad, sad, anger that masks a deep hurt.

You, Gallant, are looking at Alcamoo. No! More than looking! Your eyes ask Alcamoo a soundless question. In profile, your handsome countenance seems pensive, and yet somehow hopeful, expectant of things to come. While Alcamoo, superficially pretending unawareness of your gaze, looks ever-so-slightly to the right and beyond you, with a demure, bemused, half-smile, but also with a confident awareness of the allure of his silky yellow neck ribbon, and of the intense desire evoked by his fluffy brown fur.

Wow! I said to myself, and then got another beer.

Milum.