No, Dan, I'm not that desperate - I had to give up cow pie when I got my last set of dentures (they wouldn't cope with the horns, that was my dilemma), more or less the same time that I stopped using an axe and blowlamp to shave with.

and I just don't understand your query about what the fairy called pat had for dinner.
Maybe Gallant Ted would know - fairies called pat seem to be an Oirish sort of a ting